AIBU to be surprised no one checked my 17yo had permission when travelling abroad without a parent?

[TeenageTravels]

We are British. My 17yo recently travelled abroad to an EU country for a holiday with another family (who live in the UK but are originally from the country they were travelling to). I sent her with a permission letter and provided my and DH's contact details and passport details and a copy of her birth certificate. She wasn't asked for any of this either in the UK or the other country, or any information about who she was travelling with or why. AIBU to be surprised by this? Obviously my daughter was completely safe but is this not a concern for trafficking or other reasons?

That’s different, the college want to know you are giving them your approval

We have never been asked for proof when taking my daughters friend on holiday. Always had it but never been asked.

A 16/17 year old could get married at Gretna but it wouldn’t be recognised by English or Welsh laws

It varies by country both as to the laws and how strictly they police it.

https://www.gov.za/faq/travel-tourism/what-are-requirements-travelling-children

South Africa is fairly strict. France is strict for its own resident minors leaving the country.

Like others, we have been stopped at the Portuguese border and needed to have the correct paperwork.

https://www.douane.gouv.fr/en/fiche/authorization-leave-territory-ast-minors

Some posters are saying a 17yo can make their own decisions about international travel and shouldn't even need parental permission. But she apparently can't make her own decision about visiting the local Uni for an afternoon with one of her A-Level teachers, which seems like a much lower risk scenario.

Nope!
If you’re resident in England and Wales you are not allowed to marry in Scotland until you’re 18 at all.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership-s/getting-married-s/

Yes you have to be resident in Scotland. You can move there and then get married at 16.

And the person on the end of the phone could be literally anyone

Same here, I moved out from home at 16, moved from London to Paris on my own at 17. Found work & lived happily there for years supporting myself. Pre days of mobile phones

You take biographical details to check.

Why can't she do that?

The original commenter wasn’t talking about someone moving to Scotland, but yes, if resident there they could marry.
And it would therefore be recognised under English law because it would be a legal marriage.

Well obviously from my point of view she can, but college requires parent's permission. So if I didn't give it she couldn't go.

Oh I thought you mean the uni didn't allow it which would be strange

Schools can be a bit weird about parental permission. A remember a teacher insisting to my DD that I was breaking the law by refusing to fill in a permission slip detailing her GP etc. She was 18.

I took my kids on holiday just after getting divorced, we have different names, asked their dad for a letter and he said “how will they know I wrote it?” Fair point, I’ve never been asked, they were toddlers at the time

Having to have a letter from the other parent sounds bonkers to me! What if you are completely estranged, don't know who the father is etc. And how on earth do they know who the kids father is at the airport? How do they know the letter is genuine? So weird! Never heard of this before! Sounds like an urban myth to me!

That's part of a whole system of safeguarding the schools have in place to protect themselves and their pupils. A 17 year old choosing to travel is different.

Dc went inter-railing back and forth across Europe aged 17.

Never occurred to me to provide any kind of letter. Which could easily be forged anyway.

My daughter 16 year old came back on her own from Spain after staying with her father, I checked the airline before she went and it said over 16 I treated as adults I did not give her any letter and no one asked. Last year she flew to US with her 29 Year-old sister, she was 15 years old, I did do a letter and a copy of my passport but no one asked to see it. They do have the same surname. I think the only time they might ask is if you do not have a return flight home.

My mistake, I thought you had to have an adult passport after 16

My DS has been on holiday with his mate age 13 upwards. He’s with an adult so no issues

I find this really surprising. My daughter was stopped going into Italy with her boyfriend when she was 17 (he 18) post A-levels. We had to email all sorts of information to get her through

Our children have managed to travel out of the country, with abusers and to become terrorists. Not surprised.

British children you mean, or yours personally? I was thinking Shamima Begum didn't have parental permission did she?