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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt my ex did not contact me before surgery

31 replies

TheOpalFox · 01/10/2026 09:31

I have surgery today and was hoping he would reach out? Absolutely nothing :( he left me 8 weeks ago but thought he might ‘care’
guess not

broken my heart
:(

my long term partner left me 8’weeks ago after 4 years together and I’m suffering from depression
i also have additional needs

why couldn’t he care? Why couldn’t he just reach out :(

OP posts:
middleagedandinarage · 01/10/2026 09:33

Sorry OP but to be brutal because he is your ex. Were you hoping he would reach out today and it would rekindle something? Messaging you now after 8 weeks would only be confusing for you, it's best he didn't

OttersOnAPlane · 01/10/2026 09:34

That's what being an ex means. He is out of your life now.

I'm sorry it hurts you and I hope your surgery goes well

HScully · 01/10/2026 09:34

I am sorry that you are going through this but once an ex is an ex they no longer are part of your life. They probably still care but they are wise to not send mixed signals.

It sucks but it is all part of going through a break up. You will recover from this even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment

I hope you get support from family and friends, and recover quickly x

Idontjetwashthefucker · 01/10/2026 09:47

Harsh as it sounds but he didn't contact you when you told him you were having surgery (your last thread), so why expect him to contact you now?

He's your ex, the sooner you move on the better

Anothercake · 01/10/2026 09:49

He wouldn't be a good ex if he was reaching out.

spreadandsprinkles · 01/10/2026 09:51

For goodness sake op, how many more threads are you going to start about this poor guy? He does not owe you a relationship, you do not have children together. Let him go, you cannot force someone to care.

GoodkneeBadKnee · 01/10/2026 09:52

You need to stop posting about this. He's your ex. He's not coming back. Leave him be.

shhblackbag · 01/10/2026 09:55

You need some help, OP. And probably a diary.

raspberrychocolatecake · 01/10/2026 09:55

He didn't contact you because your relationship is over. I've seen some of your other threads about this man - you have to accept he is your past and you won't hear from him again.

Good luck with your surgery today, focus on your recovery.

PollyBell · 01/10/2026 10:05

He is an ex the clue is in the title

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/10/2026 10:13

You have had more than 20 threads about this poor man since you split up.

I hope he is out there living his best life.

Zero sympathy for you at this stage.

Arlanymor · 01/10/2026 10:14

You're posting yet again about this man. He didn't contact you when you told him that surgery was booked so why would he contact you now? I'm sorry he left you and I am sure that two months still feels really fresh, but you're not doing yourself any favours to ruminate on him. Focus on yourself, on your recovery and on the life you will have after surgery. I wish you luck.

randomchap · 01/10/2026 10:15

Please get some help. Repeatedly posting on here isn't healthy. Get some counselling

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/10/2026 10:21

He didn't contact you when you told him that surgery was booked so why would he contact you now?

I don’t think she told him, she wrote elsewhere that he blocked her in August.

Can’t imagine why.

Yupstillhere · 01/10/2026 10:25

Good for him. I don't message my ex's either as they're my ex's.

He's moved on, you need to as well.

It's sad but it happens, stop focusing on the past.

Good luck with your surgery, wishing you a speedy recovery.

BMW58 · 01/10/2026 10:27

Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh

FFS

harriethoyle · 01/10/2026 10:44

Guys, do an advanced search on this poster and don’t waste your time responding 🙈

MissChanandlerBonng · 01/10/2026 10:47

this again!

PollyBell · 01/10/2026 10:50

Op does this ex actually exist?

AmberPeaches · 01/10/2026 10:54

PollyBell · 01/10/2026 10:50

Op does this ex actually exist?

Good point! This is attention seeking of the highest order.

Don’t you have a child you should be looking after (not his!)

Error404FucksNotFound · 01/10/2026 10:57

Im sorry you are struggling.
Do you have any friends or family to support you?

re your ex - he left you. This is what that means. It means he is no longer there for you. Harsh as it feels, he owes you nothing and you should expect nothing.

Shesafancyflapjack · 01/10/2026 10:58

OP in earlier posts you said you have a learning disability, your son is also vulnerable. Do you have support from anyone? It seems that you are struggling to process and accept the end of your relationship and this might require specialist help that you can’t get on mumsnet.

Happyjoe · 01/10/2026 10:59

Sorry OP, this is another thread about your ex, and surgery.
He has gone out of your life. He doesn't care. Yeah, brutal truth.

Get on with your life, stop tormenting yourself, focus on your child and you, not your ex. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

LowlandLucky · 01/10/2026 11:07

He is nothing to do with you anymore and you are nothing to do with him anymore. Harsh but true. Hope your OP went ok but it is now time to not only heal from the operation but also time to heal from your relationship. You need to let go and focus on your future not your past.🌺

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/10/2026 11:08

This is a low low point for you right now but it gets better, you need to cut him out though sadly he’s not your person anymore. You need to lean on other people who do love you.

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