AIBU to buy very little for my four month old at Christmas?

[ForDreamyLemonRobin]

Im thinking about the dreaded christmas already and have had a disagreement with SIL over presents and then favourite children...
I have two DS one who's 2.5 and feeling slightly more into Christmas this year and then I've got a 4 month old. To me it seems silly to waste money buying my second child anything when I still have clothes and toys left over from the first? My SIL thinks im picking favourites (we do go slightly overboard on the 2.5 year old) but I think its more logical and not a waste of money, the 4 month old won't know he doesn't have presents? Obviously I'll get him something so my toddler can see that his brother gets gifts from santa too but I'm thinking one or two small gifts. Do you think it's unreasonable not to bother with the baby?

This is my approach too. Santa fills the stockings, all wrapped presents under the tree are from us, so that the children have reasonable expectations and also know it’s you that’s made the effort.

I hear other people getting tangled up telling the children convoluted stories about them buying the gifts and giving them to santa, so that Santa can deliver them, or how they give Santa the money, or whatever. But honestly, no, just do the gift giving from real people, and tell them Santa brings the crayons & sweets in the stocking!

We had the same, When DS1 was 7 months at Christmas I wrapped an outfit I’d bought him anyway, a book and one inexpensive toy. Job done.

When DS2 was 10 months old at Christmas I did similar, maybe a couple more parcels but nothing expensive - just so DS1 wouldn’t think his DB wasn’t getting anything.

We moved into a temporary rental right before my child’s first Christmas. I bought her very little. My favorite gift was a very flashy inflatable bath tub shaped like a duck. We needed a bath tub for the rental and I just made sure to blow it up so it was a big shiny present for her to find on Christmas morning. It cost a whopping fiver and was something I was going to buy anyway.

Yanbu

BUT

What about next year? Will oldest get new toys and toddler not cos they don't need anything? What age does that end.

I think it's worth thinking ahead so it isn't always "we won't bother with the baby cos they can just have hand me downs" if you're then going overboard with the oldest

But you just said you go overboard with the toddler cos they get barely anything from anyone else? It sounds like you go overboard with eldest with everything they want, but baby doesn't get any presents cos there's nothing they need.

Our second child was born at home on the 23th December. His older brother (27 months) was taken out to buy a xmas present for the baby. I can't remember what is was, but it was later 'lent' to the older one by the baby.

Edit: it was a Thomas the trank engine torch!

There are very few christmases that you will even have a choice like this. Don't buy anything. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands I would never take the time to wrap up things you already have to present to the 4 month old child. At 2.5 yo your oldest will not think "oh, look at the inequity of the amount of gifts under the tree".

Many years ago we had the same dilemma. DS2 was 2 months at Christmas. I bought stuff he didn’t need now but would need before next Christmas. Clothes are good for this - they go through a lot of sizes in the first year!
I’m glad I did. That DS is now 8 years old. He watches all the Christmas morning videos from his lifetime and compares the presents he’s opening with the ones his brother is. Just to check 😂

My third child was 4 months old at Christmas. His older siblings were 4 and 2. We wrapped up a couple of things he needed for him so they knew he got presents from us. FC only brings stocking in our family.
Nobody (except me!) has any memory of that 30 year ago Christmas.

I'm the youngest, but I used to LOVE getting second hand clothes from cousins, very poor background so I was happy just to have new things! SIL is oldest, but has 3 children of her own, all older than mine so think she very much has that "need to spend the same on all" mentality.

Interesting point, and definitely something to think about in the future because until my youngest has interests or hobbies of his own what else is needed?

We had the same issue with our second child with a similar age gap. Even now (she's 3), it's very hard to get her presents because we already bought everything we needed for the our eldest. They have very similar taste as well, which doesn't help.

So now we tend to buy "joint presents", particularly for Christmas.

But it isn't just about the basics of what they NEED whilst your older child is being spoiled with everything you WANT to buy!

Putting stuff aside and rewrapping is one option.
Not over indulging your older child is one option.
Making the effort to find stuff for them their sibling doesn't have is one.

If they both have similar interests is your plan to just not get them anything until they're adults and live apart?

But you, like me, liked getting hand me downs because we were poor and e all got hand me downs. I also remember waiting for my sister to put grow of clothes I liked. But I think this is very different to one sibling having lots of lovely new stuff every year and you never getting anything of your own to unwrap or knowing it's literally come off the toy shelf the night before.

If you're going to regift, take it out of circulation at least 6 months before, clean it and wrap it

Then maybe you have to consider joint presents for them in the future.
I agree for now it's silly wrapping lots of new items for a baby and that it's a good idea to wrap up things you would already need but this can't go on forever.
It doesn't seem fair that the eldest always gets the new items else, especially if you have gone all out on them. Just imagine can't get them a toy car as they can use the eldests, train set - already done, what about a toy kitchen- nope eldest got a fancy one last year. The list will go on.

I’m going against the grain here but I would spend the same for both children. No matter how old they are.

Oh total opposite of my guess then. I had a 4mo last Christmas and tbh I wrapped up her clothes in the next size and some toys i was buying for her anyway. I got the same questions about what I was getting her for Christmas, my head was still spinning at that point lol

Agreed but if you do feel like doing anything, pop a few quid in an isa for them. Just have a token from Santa on the big day.

Our kids are primary school age and while we could easily spoil them, we don’t spend more than about £60 between them. Instead, we focus more on doing nice things as a family.