To want dh to come with me to my scan tomorrow morning?

[theSuburbanDryad]

I have got to go for a scan tomorrow morning to check that the pregnancy is progressing as it should and that there is definitely a heartbeat. Dh really wants to come, and booked time off work. However, he has just learned that he'll have to go to a meeting with the director of the company and so can't come to the scan with me.

But...

I don't want to go on my own I'm sure everything's fine with the baby but I wanted him to be there Just In Case it wasn't. And he booked the time off, and his company are being horrible. It's not dh's fault but i'm all grumpy with him and it's making it worse.

Why don't men get time off to go to scans and stuff like women do? My boss can't not let me go - by law she's obliged to let me have time off for scans and mw appts isn't she?

Hmph.

YANBU I think he should be with you. Is the meeting really that important? Can he phone in sick? His company are really taking liberties IMHO! on your behalf.

YANBU.

Can you get someone else to come with you? Don't think he can get away with a sicky, sadly

it is different for men though im afraid its to the bosses discretion would be discrimination to not let us go

dont take it out on dh though i bet he feels bad enough one he isnt there to support you , two that he will miss this special moment its hard for men as so much is expected and as much as they want to do it its relying on there bosses to make this happen

i hope all goes ok though can you take member of family at all for support

Why ever not Effie? In a few years time nobody will remember what his business meeting was about but surbubandryad will always remember that she had to go for her scan by herself

The trouble is, if he phones in sick they'll know he's pulling a fast one as he tried to book the time off IYKWIM. They're saying that as he didn't give them 10 days' notice the holiday isn't valid. Wtf?!

I told him to tell them exactly why he needed the time off and to tell them (rather than ask) that he was taking the time and to reschedule the meeting, but he says it'll be more hassle than it's worth. I think as well, that the person he books his time off with isn't the same person that his meeting is with - so it's entirely possible that the company director is blissfully unaware of all this and would be horrified if he knew! (doubtful)

Part of me is thinking that dh could be a little more forthright with work, tbh.

That's awful. And you know what, I bet if someone told the director why he couldn't make that time slot the director would totally understand.

Given he's asked for the time off and been knocked back, I wouldn't advise him chucking a sicky as it will look very suspicious. But perhaps saying "I do apologise if I have to take a phone call, my wife is having a scan and we're very anxious" at the start of the meeting?

No family or friends to come with me, unfortunately.

Sorry your dh can't go - dh came to both of ds1's scans, but none for dd or ds2 - just couldn't get time off. He saw the pictures though

My scan's at 9:15 and the meeting's at 9. They've squeezed me into an appointment that doesn't really exist so no chance of moving it. I don't even think you'd be allowed in with ds, Stella, they're very funny about having children in the scanning room (even if you could get here! )

I've had to go on my own several times for suspected miscarriage and then to confirm missed miscarriage.

I've been on my own for all of my scans with our two girls except one and this time round, I'll have to give birth alone, too.

It's not fun but there's no choice sometimes.

Hope it works out differently for you and he's able to swing something.

I'm not sure we'll get pictures as the baby's still very small...

suburban - I got pictures when I had an early scan when I was 7.5 ish weeks PG. Though it's not the same as having someone to give moral support.

expat - can't believe you'll have to give birth alone! (I'm guessing a mw will be there, no? you don't mean completely alone, do you?)

i know that there's no choice, and i know i have to grow the fuck up a bit and stop whingeing. I'm just all fragile and emotional and stupid at the moment.

You're good for a kick up the arse though expat

I think he should have mentioned what the time off was for, but I can see why he didn't (I hated having to talk to anyone about my pg before my first scan). Can hew talk to his boss in the morning and maybe leave early?

That's bloody awful. You should have someone there to support you. I am so sorry.

There's no one else to look after the DDs.

The midwife will be there.

It's too bad he didn't know they were going to be arsey about it beforehand, so he could have thrown a sickie. Now the cat's out of the bag he'd be rumbled if he did that.

Maybe if he goes in late?

That sucks.

I got a picture even at 8 weeks so they should be able to give you one.

Effie - i think he has told his manager but not the director IYSWIM, it's not really the director's problem is it? He doesn't deal with the day to day running of the business.

I have no clue about big business, tbh, we have 4 people (including me) where i work, and I have the company director on my Facebook!

expat - could you get a doula? i am sure I remember reading on here that the doula organisations have funds to help people who can't afford the doula fees.

Is it London? Can he invent a traffic jam or a cancelled train and be late?

How about a dental emergecy?

Can't afford a doula, TC. It's a rural area.

I'm sure it'll go. I think hunker went on her own, IIRC.

Expat - Jeez you are an amazing lady! How long have you got till your EDD now?