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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want dh to come with me to my scan tomorrow morning?

51 replies

theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 17:59

I have got to go for a scan tomorrow morning to check that the pregnancy is progressing as it should and that there is definitely a heartbeat. Dh really wants to come, and booked time off work. However, he has just learned that he'll have to go to a meeting with the director of the company and so can't come to the scan with me.

But...

I don't want to go on my own I'm sure everything's fine with the baby but I wanted him to be there Just In Case it wasn't. And he booked the time off, and his company are being horrible. It's not dh's fault but i'm all grumpy with him and it's making it worse.

Why don't men get time off to go to scans and stuff like women do? My boss can't not let me go - by law she's obliged to let me have time off for scans and mw appts isn't she?

Hmph.

OP posts:
StellaWasADiver · 29/06/2008 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 18:20

Ooooh all good ideas re the traffic jams. Will mention to him and see what he thinks. I'm just worried that if he says no then i'll get all huffy with him again!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/06/2008 18:21

Seriously, trains get cancelled, cars get stuck in traffic, alarm clocks don't go off. All kinds of reasons people are late.

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 18:22

Yep, you're absolutely right expat. Very good point. Especially in the City! And on a Monday morning, too...

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/06/2008 18:23

well, tubes just stop a lot in rush hour. and there's nothign you can do. you just have to wait.

if trains are late, delayed or cancelled and then he wound up stuck in a tube as well, there's not a whole lot anyone can do about it.

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 29/06/2008 18:30

I will mention this as soon as he gets in. I may even show him the thread (although he has a distressing habit of showing up on MN and posting when i show him stuff )

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 30/06/2008 10:09

Hope everything went well this morning

youcannotbeserious · 30/06/2008 10:12

I just think it's nice he wants to be there.

My DH didn't come to any of my AN appointments, and TBH, I missed him being there.

Alambil · 30/06/2008 10:40

What time and what hospital?

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 30/06/2008 11:30

Lewis - it was 9:15 at Stoke Mandeville!!

Everything went fine - there is a teeny tiny little baby in there, they reckon I'm about 6 weeks but they can't date it accurately as I've not had an AF since I was pg with ds. They think i may be further along as ds was so small at term.

Dh is really pissed off though - they rearranged his meeting for tomorrow, without telling him. I told him that he has to tell his manager, or someone, how unhelpful that is. He said that there are no concessions to work/life balance and if it was a case of take it or leave it he'll have to make the choice to do one or the other.

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2008 11:34

I have been on my own for all 4 of my dc's scans. My DH could never get time off either. It is shit i agree. I hope everything goes well for you

Expat i was on my own for ds2's birth and it went really well. Is there nobody nearby to help out?

aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2008 11:36

Ooops sorry,you have been and got back

EffiePerine · 30/06/2008 11:40

Glad it went well but grrrrrrrrr for your DH. They really have no idea, do they? OTOH, his keenness should stand him in good stead the next time he asks - just gt him to book well in advance! Do you have a date for your 12 week scan yet?

Alambil · 30/06/2008 14:11

how bloody annoying! Glad all is well though

feel free to ask if you want company if another problem crops up, won't you?

expatinscotland · 30/06/2008 14:16

Whew, glad it went well, Dryad! congratulations!

nope, agalch, there's no one here but us - no family nearby or anyone we know well enough to ask to look after the girls.

i'm sure it'll be fine. lots of women go on their own.

like you i have also been on my own for all scans as DH either couldn't get time off or was looking after one or both of the other girls.

notcitrus · 30/06/2008 14:30

Glad it went OK, and hope your DH can book time off now for the 12 week and 20 week scans.

aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2008 14:33

DH was looking after ds1 when i had ds2. Everyone and their granny was horrified when i said i'd had him by myself lol. Lots of women choose/have to eh?

No doula's up there either?

Twelvelegs · 30/06/2008 14:35

Phone the scan ward and change your appointment, they are quite accomodating.

thirtysomething · 30/06/2008 15:07

I went to my first scan with DS alone as it was last-minute due to bleeding and no way DH could get time off work. i was about 6 wks pregnant. To be honest whilst I'd have liked him there it was a very special moment for me and DS in a way, as I felt so in love with him from that first glimpse of a fetal pole. it made me totally forget I was on my own and I ran straight to a callbox (didn't have mobile then - was 11 years ago!)and phoned DH at work. Could tell he was totally overcome on the phone and will always remember that moment. Didn't matter that he wasn't there as still shared in the moment in his way IYKWIM> Hope it all goes well for you xx

expatinscotland · 30/06/2008 16:36

no doulas, agalch. couldn't afford one, anyway.

there's no choice in the matter for us. that's life. deal or die .

aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2008 16:42

We had parents who could have helped with ds1 Expat but they chose not to. Tis life lol

I was fine and if you are on your own your MW will stay with you all the time.I ended up having a good labour and birth and called DH immediatly after ds2 was born. It's not the worst thing in the world that could happen eh?

expatinscotland · 30/06/2008 17:38

It's good to hear a positive story, agalch!

I'm hoping to give birth in our local hospital which is not understaffed and overworked and that will make all the difference.

Yes, the world won't stop rotating that's for sure.

Kimi · 30/06/2008 17:46

that is so unfair, glad all is well though

bucksmum · 01/07/2008 07:37

Hi you should have called I was at Stoke yesterday morning i could have come and waited for you! Sorry I've only just seen the message.

lulumama · 01/07/2008 07:44

expat , trainee doulas work for vastly reduced rates. some will work for free to get the experience. it is worth asking around.