Do people generally become irritable and miserable as they age?

[3taffff]

Parents are late 69s and frankly it’s very wearing with them. They’ve always got some sort of criticism if we are out in a restaurant etc, always seem judgmental of younger generations. Is this normal? Has it happened with your parents?

Some people become miserable and irritable as they get older and some people don't OP.
Older people are still individuals.

I'm old and the only things that make me miserable are the aches and pains i get now and the fact that I tire so quickly, It's so frustrating to start the day with lots of plans and then to feel worn out by 2pm. I used to have so much energy and stamina and then bang! it was gone and it makes me depressed. Knowing that it is only going to get worse can be scary. i do get annoyed by the way some people treat me as stupid because I am old. When the practice nurse at my health centre calls me "dear" I want to deck her, please speak to us old folk as if we are human, because we are. i am not critical or judgemental of the younger generation, in fact I feel they have had a really raw deal, this should be their time and many of them are really having to struggle. Neither of my parents lived to be the age I am now, in fact both of them died a couple of years after retirement so I have no memory of either of them being really old. My dad was horrible, nothing to do with age, it was his personality, my mum was lovely, saw the good in everyone and always looked at life from multiple perspectives. i hope I am like that

I am 79 and J hope that I am not irritable or judgemental

I have a chronic pain condition at 35 and I try to be as positive as possible but it is HARD. I have found a load of my senior pals arent listened to or wrote off after a certain age so they tend to grumble more.
We have become very comfortable at dismissing older people as a society. Be it their pain, experiences, or woes.

I am a home-visiting nurse for the disabled and elderly, and there are some who, despite their disabilities and pain, are just a delight to be around, Then there are some who just struggle mentally with everything, and appear miserable and criticise. I often wonder if it has to do with how isolated they are, and that the loneliness exacerbates their physical misery.

Yes. I am perimenapause and very miserable as well as irritable. I wasn't like this when I was younger.

Some people become more irritable when they get older. Some people are irritable and grumpy whatever age they are. Even if you’re relatively mobile, there are more aches and pains to contend with. Some people say that they have less tolerance for dealing with ‘stuff’ as they age and are more direct. That doesn’t mean they’re grumpy, just that the bullshit tolerance level has changed.

I enjoy the company of young people, but I think that, for some of them, there’s a sense of entitlement that they’re owed a living.

I agree that being spoken to patronisingly is intensely irritating. I have a friend who has some physical illnesses and conditions, but she has the sharpest mind and is an Oxford graduate, who is interested and interesting. To be called ‘dearie’ and spoken to as though she’s a toddler, is demeaning and would make most people grumpy.

I've noticed the past couple of years that my mum (71) has a bit more of a short fuse and can make digs. Also the eye rolls and tuts. Drives me crackers 😞

Oh god, it must be a fortnight since we had this one! Must mean we're due a "is 42 too old to have a baby?" thread ...

Many patients in my job are over 65… up to 95 or more in fact.. also a few of my colleagues are late 60s at least; basically some people are lovely despite their difficulties & others don’t stop moaning.. some people are actually depressed but are not getting medical help for it, so they always seem unhappy; some people are moody, some are unpleasant, others are chilled, some are angry & aggressive; really everyone is different whatever their age and there are various reasons for that including the state of their health which if it’s not good can obviously cause stress and anxiety.
So mood and physical health can often be linked.

But I have found with the older people I’m related to or that I’ve known for years, that certain of their personality traits can become enhanced as they age; in either a positive or negative way.

I haven't grown more irritable or miserable but I definitely won't put up with bullshit anymore. I'm also really bored with people who whine, moan or whinge about how fed up they are, how they haven't got what they want or their partner/children/work/life isn't the way they'd like but don't do anything to change it. And as for judgemental - I've always been as judgemental as hell.

Yes we do. We've had a lifetime of other peoples shit and we're sick of it.

Yes, it's because we are fed up of looking after everyone else for our whole life .

Yup.
What does tend to happen is your body getd stiffer and more painful, and your mind less agile. How miserable and irritable you get is individual.

No. But they are less willing to tolerate bullshit and less likely to pretend and perform for the benefit of other people’s comfort. They are more inclined to value authenticity, humility, and honesty.

I’m 68. I do get irritable about being the subject of so many negative stereotypes.

Yes.

It's one of the few redeeming aspects of getting older.

Yes yes - I hear you! 😃

I'm old and grumpy some of the time - I do try and rein it in, but that doesn't always work. Also doing my best to keep fit as theoretically that should help.

My mum was difficult through her menopause (coincided with my late teen years and early young adulthood, which I think was hard for her as she is anxious and has trouble letting go) and again during the last couple of years of my father’s life and first year after he passed (mainly the stress of first, being a carer and second, adjusting to life as a widow).

These days I find her much more chill and happy than either of those periods. My dad was always lovely and positive, even more so as he aged.

This.

I was that lovely 'girl/woman' who had a spring in my step, liked people, was happy with many things, the listener, smiler, the sweetie who would put others first. I enjoyed being this way.

Now not so much. I'm only 52, have sorted my finances, have a wonderful house, husband, teenagers who are really quite lovely... but internally, I'm a misery : (

The only reasons I can think of is that I can no longer exercise due to severe arthritis Or, that I hate people in the office reverting all conversations back to themselves all the fucking time.Or that I have it too easy now!

I had an extremely tough life and have finally got it to where I fought tooth and nail for. Do I feel this way because 'is this it?'. Have my tenacity and motivation gone? Or do I have time to reflect on the trauma I was exposed to for the first 26 years of my shitty life?

Sorry, this is me offloading because no bugger has ever listened to or helped me. I have all of 2 family members and 1 friend. That is it after being a glorified slave and giver.

But judging by others on this thread, you may not end up like me - to be a fed up grump who can no longer tolerate most people and who would be happy to vanish to a castle and never step foot out of it ever again.

All the best.

@drippingyethappy

Spot on. I completely agree. Very well put.

Agreed.

Ageism on MN. Again. Quelle surprise.

I don’t get people calling this ageist, I think if you’re older and haven’t gotten crankier due to health issues, losing people you know, less money due to retirement, seeing your own family less then you’re in a position of huge privilege.

This has not happened to my parents. They're in their 80s and are both really happy and positive. I don't get how this makes them "privileged" as the above poster says. It's just because they are lovely people!

I think I am a bit quieter and more grumpy because like pp has said we're just fed up with people's shit.

Especially as women, we have given and given to everyone around us and always try to have a smile on her face and be pleasant regardless of how we were treated or how we feel
I'm just tired and have little tolerance for nonsense from other people anymore