Am I being unreasonable for feelings of rage from the sound of someone eating crisps?!

[ShakingAndCrying]

I just got a quick sandwich to eat on my lunch break in my town centre and I hate eating on the go so sat on an empty bench.

There were two other benches with just one person sat on their phone on them.
I had just started eating when two women sat next to me as close to me as possible and pulled out a big bag of crisps to share.

Both of them then proceeded to crunch the crisps as loudly as possible right next to my ear and were licking their fingers then both putting them back in the bag 🤢.
I normally have my AirPods or loop earplugs but was in a rush and had forgotten them today.
I didn’t want to move to sit next to someone on another bench and torture them by eating next to them so tried to just eat my lunch quickly and move away.

I managed about 2 minutes desperately fighting the instinct to snatch the crisps off them and throw them in the bin and scream at them to stop bloody crunching!
In the end I threw my sandwich away because I was too wound up to eat it.

It’s a good job I did because when I glanced back before walking away one of the women was pouring the very last dregs from the packet into her mouth like her life depended on those crumbs. There was no way I could have coped sitting next to that.

I swear my misophonia gets worse with age and I struggle to handle any situations in public with diplomacy.
I’m autistic and usually very shy but the rage has driven me to a tantrum where I’ve flounced off more than once.

I can no longer eat in a restaurant with friends after an incident sat at a table with a group crunching prawn crackers in a Chinese restaurant. I often have to eat in a different room from my DP and a man snorting and sniffing on the bus meant I had to get off at an earlier stop last week - I usually avoid public transport but my car was in for an MOT.

I know it’s not the other persons fault or rational but I do genuinely worry I’ll end up in trouble one day for losing my temper with people talking with their mouths full, throat clearing, sniffing or biting their nails.

I know I’m unreasonable but I wondered if people were in agreement with me that it’s cruel to sit next to someone on a small bench and crunch crisps into their ear?!

I just wanted some understanding and condolences from other sufferers and if anyone has any tips (except earplugs or moving away) for managing it then I’d appreciate it.

If the bench hadn’t been empty when I sat down to eat my lunch then I’d have sat somewhere else rather than subject someone to my eating noises but I suppose if you don’t suffer from misophonia then you don’t realise how genuinely distressing it is to be in that situation.

I feel your pain. I have quite extreme misophonia and sometimes want to kill and maim 😂I have to go to the cinema in the morning first showing when it's usually empty or I'd miss half the film.
Whistling drives me almost insane.

Misophonia is awful - you have my sympathy.

My son really needs a brace and struggles to eat with his mouth closed, but he can’t have til he has all his adult teeth. My dd and I really struggle with chewing as a misophonia thing so it’s very tough - I also have it with any kind of squeaking or scraping noises.

Chewing crisps really loudly by someone else in a public space is not on at the best of times though! People have no manners these days.

I’m the same with whistling - it totally sets me on edge.

Unfortunately I also find babies crying unbearable so that’s a tough one as that can’t always be helped!

— the cinema - I’ve been known to tell people to shush - can’t bear the rustling

people not using headphones - the rage! I’ve asked reasonable-looking people to turn volume down

husband’s sneezing and tea slurping. Just no. He’ll eat an apple in another room (I’m not too bothered re crisps).

I wouldn’t have chucked my sandwich away - would’ve moved away or walked back to office if it was really bothering me.

idk if I have actual misaphonia but I do find some sounds pretty intolerable. I’m sure DS has it, but he’s more than likely ND.

I wonder why men don't use misophonia as a mitigation for assault, domestic abuse and attacking their children? Or why there's no apparent acceptance of men stating that they fantasise about hurting women for eating their lunch?

I am sorry that sounds like a really unpleasant experience for you.

I've been on high dose corticosteroids and I'm familiar with the rage other people's public behaviour can have!

What age are you? I've heard many sufferers say it becomes less tolerable in menopause, so would it be worth visiting your GP to see if that could be a factor? Otherwise if its really getting worse maybe therapy could give you some coping techniques or ideas.

And please dont hesitate to move to another bench! Other people are not suffering as you are, and even if they are a sandwich is no where near as provoking than badly scoffed crisps!

Oh god don't get me started on 'vocal fry'. It seems like every other woman (and it is mainly women) talk with it nowadays. It really winds me up.

Thing is, although it is your issue to deal with, I find modern life is full of people with no manners and standards on public behaviour are awful so I know I am getting worse....but so are other people. It's a bad combination.

I'm in a professional job and the amount of colleagues who think it's ok to chomp and chew through meetings is terrible.

The one I absolutely cannot cope with is clacking nails on keyboards. I can't concentrate on what people are saying if someone in the room is doing it.

And I'm not autistic. Fairly sure it's a combination of learned behaviour because my Dad couldn't abide people crunching etc either...and it might be menopause because I generally can't stand being around other people at the moment 🙈😬

Oh god yes....whistlers...inane noise.... awful 😞

Eww 😆 🤣

Well you were eating on a small bench same as they were. Why is it ok for you to do it but not them.
I doubt very much they sat as closely as was possible to you and were crunching right into your ear.
People are allowed to eat, drink, cough,
clear their throat and occasionally sniff if they need to. If you can’t bear it, you need to mitigate it yourself by always having your headphones handy.
Maybe you do things that other people find difficult to be around.

YABU.

But only because the rustling of the packet is even more annoying 😁

Tell me you are neurodivergent without telling me you are neurodivergent. Ps I am neurodivergent.

All my life I've been severely affected by: noisy eaters, slurpers, people eating with their mouths open or talking while eating, sniffing sniffing sniffing fgs shut up! Crisp crunching is the absolute worst.
I can't eat in the same room as my DH.
I have to leave the room if someone is eating noisily. It's murder at Christmas because we all have to sit down at the same table to eat.

I'm not autistic.
PS vocal fry is dreadful.
I haven't been diagnosed as suffering with misophonia but I definitely have it.

Not if the majority of the jury have it 😂

Yep yep yep. I have this too. Crunching isn’t ‘too’ bad for me because it tends to sound ‘drier’ but I cannot cope with hearing other people’s saliva sloshing around their mouth so chewing gum
and anything ‘wet’ sounding gives me rage.

Completely sympathise. I have autism and misophonia and when my family eat crisps the rattle of the packet drives me insane to the point of wanting to grab it and insist they put the crisps in a bowl to eat from! Like a few others here whistling and screaming noises cause me physical pain. I actually feel whistling is an unnecessary sound anyway which makes it more frustrating. And with my misophonia the sound of lawnmowers gives me the absolute rage to the point I wear headphones while getting to the car to drive somewhere away from the sound.

I do insist my family eat crisps from a bowl! Works better.

I think you have misphonia, which can affect your tolerance for noise that other people might not even notice. It would be unreasonable to ask strangers to stop eating for your auditory comfort, unless they are chewing at unacceptable decibels. Your best choice is to move to a nearby location where you can’t hear them or to wear noise canceling headphones.

Oh give over medical condition so bored of this bs now

My husband making coffee - spoon on cup. Clinka, clinka, clinka, clinka, clinka, clinka <repeat, repeat, repeat>. I really try but on the second repeat, I just want to throw the whole thing (and him) out the window! He always looks surprised when I tell him to stir quietly. After 45 years, you think he’d get it 😂

Well YABU because they did nothing wrong but it’s so hard.
I am trying to find someone with my niche version of misophonia which is liquid pouring into a small container. Like pouring a drink from a bottle into a glass. Instant hot rage and distress. Two people at work do it. Fucking splashy dribbling their water from their bottle into a glass all day long and then topping it off by gulping and gasping. Like they’ve just crossed the desert.
Coke adverts ugh. Have to clap my hands over my ears. Trickle and gurgle and splash with a rising tone.
And yes to the vocal fry and phlegmy voices. I can just hear the mucus and feel sick. I have a weekly meeting with a woman with a throaty dry phlegm filled voice and have to mute her and put transcription on. The Justin character in the Archers is also a bit unbearable.
YABU as its is not them with the problem.

You have my sympathy, OP - people noise gives me the rage, even though I know I’m the issue most of the time (exceptions made for the antisocial arseholes). Funny enough, nature can make as much noise as it wants and I will always find that pleasant and relaxing. Other than disappearing to my own mountain retreat, I’m not sure what the solution is.

My DD has this badly and interestingly, as DH gets older it has got worse for him, not better. I had no idea he found any noises challenging until he was well into his 50's. DD classically developed Misophonia as she hit puberty. It is very challenging to live with and makes her quite isolated at times.

I have to have the radio on when we are eating or the rage would consume me. My husband hates going with me to the cinema as I spend most of my time glaring at people who are rustling, slurping, talking or on their phones. I always sit at the end of an aisle and as far away from other people as possible.

I also hate adverts that have people whispering - instant rage - or vocal fry. Dr Sarah Jarvis has what I call 'claggy mouth'. It sounds like she needs to drink something as she has too much saliva. I turn off the radio within a second of hearing her.

I wish I was my husband, floating calmly through life unaware and behaving normally!