Am I being unreasonable for feelings of rage from the sound of someone eating crisps?!

[ShakingAndCrying]

I just got a quick sandwich to eat on my lunch break in my town centre and I hate eating on the go so sat on an empty bench.

There were two other benches with just one person sat on their phone on them.
I had just started eating when two women sat next to me as close to me as possible and pulled out a big bag of crisps to share.

Both of them then proceeded to crunch the crisps as loudly as possible right next to my ear and were licking their fingers then both putting them back in the bag 🤢.
I normally have my AirPods or loop earplugs but was in a rush and had forgotten them today.
I didn’t want to move to sit next to someone on another bench and torture them by eating next to them so tried to just eat my lunch quickly and move away.

I managed about 2 minutes desperately fighting the instinct to snatch the crisps off them and throw them in the bin and scream at them to stop bloody crunching!
In the end I threw my sandwich away because I was too wound up to eat it.

It’s a good job I did because when I glanced back before walking away one of the women was pouring the very last dregs from the packet into her mouth like her life depended on those crumbs. There was no way I could have coped sitting next to that.

I swear my misophonia gets worse with age and I struggle to handle any situations in public with diplomacy.
I’m autistic and usually very shy but the rage has driven me to a tantrum where I’ve flounced off more than once.

I can no longer eat in a restaurant with friends after an incident sat at a table with a group crunching prawn crackers in a Chinese restaurant. I often have to eat in a different room from my DP and a man snorting and sniffing on the bus meant I had to get off at an earlier stop last week - I usually avoid public transport but my car was in for an MOT.

I know it’s not the other persons fault or rational but I do genuinely worry I’ll end up in trouble one day for losing my temper with people talking with their mouths full, throat clearing, sniffing or biting their nails.

I know I’m unreasonable but I wondered if people were in agreement with me that it’s cruel to sit next to someone on a small bench and crunch crisps into their ear?!

I just wanted some understanding and condolences from other sufferers and if anyone has any tips (except earplugs or moving away) for managing it then I’d appreciate it.

If the bench hadn’t been empty when I sat down to eat my lunch then I’d have sat somewhere else rather than subject someone to my eating noises but I suppose if you don’t suffer from misophonia then you don’t realise how genuinely distressing it is to be in that situation.

My husband has misophonia.

He can’t go to the cinema because of the crunching and slurping. Gives him real rage and he’s a fairly mild mannered character.

I haven’t been to the cinema for years for the same reasons.

The sound of people talking with a vocal fry is really getting to me at the moment as it seems to be common and is on so many adverts.

@ShakingAndCrying I'm the same, and I worry it's going to get me into trouble, as at times I feel it's simply unbearable. I cannot stand loud laughing either. I feel rageful.

If I am in a carriage and it's too much, I jump off and reboard if I can find somewhere quieter. Other than that, I think my stress levels are very high. Perhaps yours are too?

I’m exactly the same. Loud crunching/slurping gives me the absolute rage. My long suffering husband now goes into a different room if he’s having crisps!!!

The debate on trans between Helen Joyce and Helen Webberley was difficult for me to listen to, because, Joyce Coburn (chairing) had a very dry mouth which was crackling into the microphone.

It was a bit better after their tea-break, but she still managed to give me the rage.

Also, my (otherwise beloved) husband slurps as hard as he can when drinking tea, because he claims, it helps him enjoy it more. It makes me wince every time.

I mean you're not alone. I loathe it when people eat on public transport and being forced to listen to someone watching youtube/tiktok/listening to audio on the bus without headphones makes me absolutely murderous.

But I think you're being a tiny bit unreasonable about someone eating crisps outside: could you not have just moved to another bench? They have to eat them somewhere and better there than on the bus!

I couldn't give a shit about this.

People are allowed to use public benches to eat sandwiches, crisps or any other snack food they like and as long as they take their rubbish away and bin it afterwards then no issues. That's the sort of thing the benches are for, to sit and watch the world go by. You can eat if you want to as well.

It would only bother me if they were playing loud music or leaving a huge mess.

The man who sits opposite me at work eats crisps SO loudly, with this mouth open, then wipes his greasy hands on his trousers.

He must have noticed my simmering rage because he now eats lunch in the staffroom 😬

Obviously you know your reaction is extreme. People need to eat or else they die, and it sounds exhausting to be provoked to such a state of fury by an innocuous activity. Do you have access to IAPTS in your area? It might be worth referring yourself for some counselling - this sounds like the kind of simple discrete issue that could feasibly be dealt with by the short courses you get on the NHS.

I feel your pain. I have misophonia too and noisy eating is at the top of my trigger list, closely followed by sniffing and phones on loud speaker. It's a nightmare to live with 😫

I am just like you.

Headphones

lots of people eat lunch in parks. They may have hated how you were eating your sandwich

Your were eating while sitting on a bench. She was eating while sitting on a bench. Seems a bit weird to get angry about that.

Do you have strategies for sensory regulation ? Headphones etc are all well and good when you can use them, but if you can “fill your cup” with some soothing, regulating experiences it helps increase your resilience to the assaults.

It's really not normal to feel that level of rage about something as mundane as other people eating.

Well that’s why it’s a condition. It’s normal for people with misophonia.

I don’t have misophonia as such but I do find I am more sensitive to crunchy noises at times.

I really enjoyed the “Rest is Science” podcast on this topic.

Hopefully my link will work:

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-rest-is-science/id1853007888?i=1000786864393

It’s called “Why Loud Chewing Makes You Angry”

I think this is on you to adapt to normal human noise.

Hi OP, I have misophonia too and what you describe would have given me the same rage. The noise of others eating is my biggest trigger. I think I would have got up and moved to another bench to finish my sandwich. If someone was already sitting there I would just eat very quietly, which you probably do anyway.
The biggest problem is when you can't move for whatever reason. I was once in our GP'S waiting room, which is small anyway. A middle aged couple came in and not only talked very loudly but proceeded to take turns in taking a biscuit from a packet. So not only the noise of them now crunching but the packet rattling was intense as well. I contemplated jumping out of the window but it's a long way down!
I think it's fair to say that people without Misophonia cannot possibly understand the sheer torture.

I don't know if you can help your reactions at all through therapy but I guess it's a kind of sensory processing disorder which means it's not your fault.

But it doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to deal with and you need to keep it in perspective and remember that this is your issue, not theirs. Other people do not have any kind of duty to avoid triggering your disorder.

They were behaving normally and were not in any way being 'cruel'. I'm sorry it's hard for you but it's your cross to bear.

I don't think you grasp that its an actual medical condition.

Unless you suffer from it, it's really hard to explain it to someone. You basically want to rip your ears off or their mouth.

This sums it up for me

Going to have to be your ears then, as attacking them would see you in court for assault.

I have the same reaction to people scraping the last bits out of yogurt pots. A man at work does it regularly and I have to get up and walk away lest I staple his tongue to the desk