To feel relieved the school has now completely banned phones

[Eastie77Returns]

DD’s school has completely banned phones for all incoming Y7 pupils and this will last for the entirety of their time at the school going toward. Existing pupils are still allowed to bring phones in but have to keep to the old rule (if they are seen or heard they are confiscated for 20 days).

DD is Y9 so she will be able to follow the old rule but DS, who starts secondary next year, will not be able to take one in. I honestly feel a massive sense of relief. He doesn’t have a phone at the moment and I was planning to get him an old style Nokia as he isn’t bothered about tech or latest phones. However I was a bit worried that he’d feel left if all his friends had iPhones etc. The school seems pretty serious about it all, all pupils and parents have to sign an agreement and any child caught with a phone will be excluded - no questions asked. The mother of DS’ best friend has now decided she will not send her DS to the school as originally planned as she thinks the ban is reckless and dangerous?! AIBU to think the ban is fine and makes complete sense plus millions of children managed to get to and from school safely without phones a generation ago!

Yes but in the 90s you just had to send your kid out with a 10p coin and they could call you from a phonebox. You could also shelter in a phone box from torrential rain and lock yourself in a public toilet if you were being harassed/followed. The public loos are now a coffee shop and no phone boxes in our town. The police made regular patrols and young people feared the consequences of anti social behaviour a lot more than now (because there were consequences back then). We still got egged/beaten up on the way to/from school sometimes. Social order has broken down and infrastructure is worse. I’d rather my kid had a phone or walked home with a parent. Surely if the school has banned phones your kid’s brick is useless too as it’s a phone?

Hmm I'm not sure. The school we hope DD will go to next year is fairly strict - no smartphones on the premises apart from sixth form, dumb phones (with no camera) switched off and out of sight otherwise it is a detention and phone confiscated. They have been doing this for a while now.

Whilst on 1 hand I don't want DD to have a phone, she will be getting the (public) bus to and from school. She has no chance of finding a pay phone if she has an issue. My brother once missed his train home buying sweets, so walked instead, and I remember my mum being really worried. I probably would back the 'no phones at all' rule more if she could walk to school.

My DD walks a mile to school and back. The school collects phones in at the start of the day and returns them at the end. I would not be happy if they banned them altogether, she has additional needs and I'm happy they are able to walk independently but they need to be tracked and able to contact each other in an emergency.

Sorry, I was unclear. Before I knew about the ban I was just going to give him a brick phone to take to school but now there’s no need for even that.

I don’t agree with a complete ban. Ban on using them on school property, absolutely fine and sensible. But why can’t they take them and leave them turned off in their bags? Plenty of reasons they may need to use them while travelling to / from school and the ban makes that impossible.

I was at secondary school in the 2000. I did not have a phone and have never used a pay phone in my life, there certainly were not anyone pay phones where I lived. I was absolutely fine. I do remember using the school office phone once or twice.

My mum wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t have come home because I used to just come home at 3 and she wouldn’t be home until 6.

I did own a phone, one of those old Nokias, but never took it to school.

I think whether a complete ban is practical depends on the area and how DC travel to school

Why does a child need to be tracked? I mean I know why but if children were not tracked 20 odd years ago and managed fine, why the need today? The number of children who are kidnapped (by strangers) has not increased in the last few decades.

I don’t think you can compare getting to and from school a generation ago, more children went to closer schools, journeys are longer, roads are busier.

It’s pretty sad you needed a school rule to enforce a rule in your own home though.

Mum of 3 and never tracked any, don’t feel the need.

I hate the ban. Our teenage DS doesn't use his phone that much - not interested in social media, unless you count fewer than a dozen contacts (mainly family) on WhatsApp.

He's now lost the ability to contact us before or after school, or at breaktimes, to let us know of any changes to plans/delays, things needed for school the next day etc. - as his punishment for being the same age as poorly-behaved teens who refuse to stay off their phones whilst at school and persist in using them inappropriately.

The 'best' bit is that the latter group still use them in lessons just like they did before, but are now just a lot more discreet about it - so only he and the other sensible, conscientious, rule-abiding young people have been punished for their actions and they've got away with it fine well.

He's now a very mature 14, but if he needs to get a brief message to us, he has to go to reception and ask them to call us - just like a little kiddie who needs their mummy or daddy. School: where teenagers are actively prevented from growing, developing and preparing for the adult world.

My DC school is not banning it and it's one of the best performing schools in the county.

I feel like the ban is anti technology in a way. Similar to the attitude that if you use AI, you are cheating. Phones are a part of life now. What is needed is a social media ban for under 18. I don't understand how they are deem old enough to be independent and not have a child profile anymore at 13. I believe it's the law UK since it's 16 in Germany. This allows the child to have an adult profile from 13 with Google, Apple, Tiktok etc. Kids still have access to them after school. DC primary bans it, but there were already Year 6 whatsapp groups, and already mean bullying on it.

And back in the day out side the school office was a payphone, precisely to prevent kids bugging staff asking them to make calls for them.

Not only have schools tried to turn the clock back to the 1980s they've gone about 2 decades earlier, to the 1960s when nobody had a house phone either.

Ludicrous

I think you’ll end up finding that a lot of the new children will just be having them off in their bags.

Especially when it’s a silly some students can and some can’t rule.

Two of mine have gone back this week. Only one is banning phones the other is pouches for years 7-11.

All my child’s friends in the banned school all had their phones just popped them in their bags on airplane/dnd mode before they stepped onto the school grounds.

How frequently does your DS (or any child) need to go to reception to send a brief message to their parent during the school day and for what reasons?

Similarly, the inability to tell you about things needed for school the next day during school breaks..why can’t he just tell you when he gets home?

I’m not being goady, I’m genuinely interested in why this is all necessary. Any parent aged over 40 or so managed perfectly fine at school without mobile phones. I’m intrigued as to why so many of those same parents now think their child’s safety and comfort is at huge risk if they don’t have phones.

There’s a whole other massive thread on this topic if you look. Hundreds of thoughts on both sides.

For me, I just don’t think anyone has the right to tell me what my kids needs or doesn’t need ‘outside’ of school. Inside of school sure - phones should be off and in bags and if anyone sees one in a classroom it should get taken away. But outside of school it’s my responsibility to decide what my child needs. For both petty and serious reasons my kids will always have a phone with them.

@Eastie77Returns- I’m assuming your dcs live walking distance to the school. so this will work fine for them.

The issue is for people like us who have to send their dcs to school on public transport. While we didn’t have mobiles in the 90s, we did have phone boxes and yes, we did call the school from a phone box to say the school bus hadn’t arrived/ the trains were all cancelled etc. There was a pay phone at school in the early 90s, one inside near reception and then a box outside my school.

Thankfully my DCs two schools haven’t banned them from the building, I assume because such a high percentage don’t live walking distance from the school. DS’s school collect all phones in during form time then they finish the last period of the day 5 mins early to all go collect them back. (They trialed it with just year 7 last year and now rolling out to everyone). DDs school has a “no visible phones” policy. Must be switched off and away during the school day. They are debating getting the yonder pouches, will depend on how well the girls behave!

I wouldn’t be happy about my child having no way to contact me before and after school (we had payphones in the 90s!).
I wouldn’t like to do my journey to work with no mobile just because if I broke down or something I would literally have no option apart from walking to the nearest bus stop and hoping a bus will pass soon - we are fairly rural and there are no phone boxes on my whole route to work.
Why send off an 11 year old to school with no way to get hold of them? Especially if they’re using public transport.
It would make me think twice about sending my child there too.

No issues at all with mobiles being off and out of site during the school day btw

I’m less bothered about this aspect of it, although it is reassuring to have them tracked seeing as it’s an option.

But my DD has needed to contact me because of the bus breakdown/not turning up/being stuck in traffic or last minute change of plan several times

I've expressed this on the other thread - don't agree with an outright ban as it affects out of school communication. Brick phones as a minimum should be permitted.

Parents need to complain about this if they oppose an outright ban.

I just don’t think anyone has the right to tell me what my kids needs or doesn’t need ‘outside’ of school.

Absolutely this.

Ok, but see I think having phones where they can contact mummy/daddy at the drop of a hat in fact stops teenagers from problem solving. They just ring their parents whenever anything happens (see other posts about 'changes of plans' or transport issues). Pre mobile phones, teenagers had to try and problem solve - figure out for themselves that they needed to get a different bus/walk/go to a friends house and ring home from there.
So I would actually say that needing to go to the office to send a message home might actually make your DS look for other solutions first before contacting you - or stopping to think about whether it can actually wait til after school. Which is then a more grown up thing than, as you say, needing his mummy or daddy every time something happens.

And you can parent your kid that way by removing their phone.

But we had interconnected arrangements.

We needed to know when things changed e.g. last minute revision session, cancelled club.

Yes but pre-mobile phones the kids could ring home from the phone box by the school, or the bus stop, or the station…

On the other thread people are actually suggesting that they can just ask random adults if they can use their phones. What could possibly be risky about that?!

But children had access to payphones in the past. In the 90s in my northern comp there was a payphone inside the school as well as boxes at train stations and near main bus stops.

You were expected in the 90s if your bus /train was late to call school. Your problem solving was using a phone.

If your commute to school has only ever been walking or being driven in a parent’s car I can see why you would think phones weren’t needed, but they definitely are for those who use buses/trains/underground/trams to get to school.

We adults removed the infrastructure of payphones because we stopped using them because we all had mobiles.