AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

[cocobow]

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

I completely agree with the OP. My treat used to be a nice coffee and cake in town and a book from Waterstones. Now the coffee and cake is in Greggs (great place but sometimes I'd like to go somewhere independent) and I mostly get my books second hand. The rise in the cost of living is very high these last few years.

I agree but although some museums and galleries are free-thank goodness-an increasing amount are charging what I would call excessive amounts.

Abbot Hall in Kendal-a small gallery is charging £12 a head. Child between 5 and 15-£6. This does allow you to go in all year but I live far enough away to mean that this isn't much of an advantage.

The Bowes Museum-£20 a head for a single visit

The Bronte Parsonage-£15 with £12 for children aged between 12 and 16 for a single visit.

York Art Gallery £9 and £5.40 for a child between 5 and 16.

For many, these are becoming unaffordable or very firmly fitting into the occasional treat category and that is a real shame.

Absolutely!

I think middle class is to do with education and how you behave yourself in public.

Lots of people with money who have never cracked open a book and behaving like oafs in the public square.

These, I would call part of the underclass-which is growing from the bottom up and is very close to causing an eruption.

Sadly for many that would be their entire clothing budget for the year on just the one item.

You can buy polycotton fabrics for around £1 a metre, so £2-4 depending on the style & length of the dress, then remember we aren't talking about couture hand sewn here but machine sewn to a standard pattern where all the fabric is cut by machine etc.

The wages overseas would be much lower even if there wasn't the sweat shops as the cost of living in most countries is far less than the UK e.g. average wage in Taiwan is approximately half that of the UK, but their cost of living is also around half.

Except the behaviour of some very high class private school pupils is just as bad as the underclass as you call them.

Entitlement, from privilege, can display itself in unsocial behaviour even if the family have had a country pile for generations.

Class is a load of nonsense nowadays.

Someone upthread said middle class was the average.
I disagree with that.
At the top you have the aristocracy. Very few of them. Limited in number.
Then you get the variety of middles. More of these and there are three strands of ‘middle’ but not as many as
the working.
The majority of people are working class. But whilst previously many accepted being in this class, it became something many did not want to be in. So called themselves classless ( which they are not), or middle class. Which many are not either.
The class system is such that the majority were peasants. The barons limited in number. With a limited number of inbetween.
The average person was a peasant. Not an inbetween.

Part of it is down to priorities and what matters to you. It’s rare for people to afford all of those things you mentioned nowadays so they’ll choose what matters to them. Some people REALLY care about skincare so will spend the £80 a month or whatever on the stuff they feel helps them look better. Ditto women with make up. Other people are really into fashion so will prioritise that. For me it’s books so I would gladly (and do) spend £60 in Waterstones every month. I get my clothes on Vinted and use £5 Nivea moisturiser.

This is incorrect. If the calculator gave you that then it’s wrong.

I used to work for CA doing benefit appeals.

The figure would also change if you didn’t add housing onto it because you would have a higher work allowance (£710 as opposed to £427 if you’re including housing costs).

So UC entitlement for one couple is £666.97. Child element is £303.94. £666.97+£303.94+£303.94 =£1,274.85. That’s the maximum allowance you’d get.

To work out the maximum a household can earn we would use (the entitlement and divide by 0.55) and then add the work allowance back on the top to work out what people were entitled to. With £4800 income you would be almost -£1000. Once you go below £0 it wipes out your universal credit entitlement.

Two adults plus two kids without housing costs and no disabilities would reach £0 at not for far over £3k.

I just went on entitled to confirm, and if you had a household income of £3k before tax it says you would get around £150 in UC. I hope this makes sense.

By what definition? The modern definition of middle class is university educated, home owning, professional job. Working class is renting, no degree, technical “blue collar” or min wage jobs.

You are right and that proves my point.

Just because their parents have enough funds to send them to private school does not mean that they-or their parents-have class.

My point is that class is defined by education-official or self taught-a curiosity- and how one behaves in the public place.

So, your example of privately educated schoolchildren proves my point.

Yes, they have money but don't behave in the public square which means they don't value education either-my two markers of class.

They are examples of the underclass-in this case, the underclass with cash but still, nevertheless, the burgeoning underclass.

It is a bit more than that.