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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else's kids got extremely expensive hobbies?

306 replies

bjorni9 · 02/09/2026 00:19

What started as a casual club, has turned into a lifestyle. Mountain biking, 4x, bmx freestyle, bmx racing. It has saved my ND child's sanity, and drained my bank account. I buy and sell and work so much overtime just so we can continue. It is far better than any play therapy or council funded clubs we've ever received (especially for his mh and mood). Anyone else making big sacrifices for their kids' hobbies? If only football would've stuck!

OP posts:
Halfblindbunny · 02/09/2026 18:18

DS quit swimming after 8 years and that used to cost upwards of £3000 a year. Great I thought. Then he moved on to Triathlon. How a pedal bike costs more than a car I will never know!

Eatteachsleeprepeat · 02/09/2026 18:22

1 x opera, violin and bassoon
1x fencing, skiing and now moved onto rowing

ouch

CheeseAndWineMama · 02/09/2026 18:41

Karting. Super fun and competitive but so expensive. That’s just arrive and drive level, if you want your own kart, the expenses just keep growing and growing. To get ahead you need to be wealthy (we’re not) or get sponsorship.

Whammyammy · 02/09/2026 18:41

My kids are adults now but my daughter had a pony (so did i) and didn't showing/cross country/trail hunting and my son was into motocross... they still do, but pay their own bills thankfully now

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 02/09/2026 18:53

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 02/09/2026 18:13

Warhammer and Rowing

Hahaha Warhammer!!
We had that for a bit.
Tiny little plastic bastards that cost £££££ and have to be painstakingly glued together on the kitchen table.
Glad to be rid of them.
What faction is your kid? Mine was Tau

TomHanksIsMyHero · 02/09/2026 18:56

Cappuccino5 · 02/09/2026 17:59

I can hand on heart promise you (from personal experience - we bought our own pony after 1 year of twice weekly lessons) that this absolutely would not be the case. For a decent first pony you’re talking mid 4 figures. Add another £1k on top of that for tack and rugs. Farrier for new shoes every 6 weeks. Physio and vet as needed. Dentist every 6 months. Insurance. Livery costs (we paid £250/month on assisted DIY - considered very cheap), lessons, feed, haylage and supplements, competition fees, copious amounts of fuel, horse box, riding gear for the DC.. I could go on!!!

Monetary issues aside, you end up quite literally spending your life covered in mud at the stables and can never fully relax - horses are not easy animals to keep and it’s not a lifestyle for the faint hearted. Coming from a non horsey background it was a massive adjustment and a huge learning curve for us.

I had horses up until DC was born so I know the score. The day to day costs would be less (lessons are costing £60 per week for half an hour) but, I agree with you, it’s all the add ons.

i meet some people whose horses seem to live on fresh air having never been sick or sorry. I am yet to meet one of these horses, sadly.

Thingsthatgo · 02/09/2026 19:04

Tessasanderson · 02/09/2026 16:50

I have got a chip on my shoulder about how we are ruining childrens health and future sport involvment by monetising it. Its ok i can afford it, i can work a few more hours or teach myself to coach doesnt work for everyone.

Hardly any kids play football in the street. Ask a kid to take part in PE or sports day and half the kids would have a heart attack or their parents would write them a note to avoid it.

It all stems from the financial input of parents into their kids 'performance' to keep up with the Jones's

But you did teach yourself to coach, so how are you any different?

Bridgetnoknickers · 02/09/2026 19:09

Allstar Cheer over here 😭 12 years of it- travelling across the UK and then Europe and then added on the USA back to back for the last 5 years. She coaches now so it was worth it, but I dare not even estimate what we spent over the years…

thegrumblingkitten · 02/09/2026 19:28

Bridgetnoknickers · 02/09/2026 19:09

Allstar Cheer over here 😭 12 years of it- travelling across the UK and then Europe and then added on the USA back to back for the last 5 years. She coaches now so it was worth it, but I dare not even estimate what we spent over the years…

Snap

I dread to think how much it's all cost and continues to cost 😅

Glittertwins · 02/09/2026 19:33

FalconHonour33 · 02/09/2026 09:18

I don't swim myself, but I do have friends who do. Once you get into competition racing, they have to have a different suit for every race - they're not allowed to wear wet ones for races, it's considered an advantage, so one for a heat, a different one for the final... If you're in multiple races, that adds up...

And well, I guess, accidents happen, particularly if you're changing in a hurry!

There is no rule about not being able to wear wet race suits for a race. We certainly don’t change if there multiple heats to swim with little time to change and not sitting around for periods of time.

Depending on how the race suits are treated depends on how long they last. Rinsing with dechlorination solution and not wearing for any longer than necessary (call room/race maybe swim down) will help keep the suit water repellant and retain the compression.
A second suit for females is better because getting them on when dry is bloody hard work, getting a wet one back on without damaging it or yourself is nigh on impossible. It’s not so bad for the boys as theirs dry out much faster and they don’t have to drag it over so much body.

SabrinaThwaite · 02/09/2026 20:25

Wrt to polo - I took an estate tour a few years ago that explained how high goal / professional adult teams are run: team is made up of three professional players and a patron, who is a competent amateur that funds the team. Each match costs the patron around £10k, requires 2 or 3 ponies per player and they may play 20 to 30 matches a year.

99victoria · 02/09/2026 20:32

zingally · 02/09/2026 16:54

No, I completely agree with you. It was a shameless money grab by the Royal Ballet. Yes, I'm certain there were children there who ARE genuinely on a path to be professional ballerinas, who have been doing it since they were toddlers.

But also, it wasn't really the Royal Ballet's issue... The issue is the fame-hungry mothers who assume their very average child is destined to be the next big thing in whatever their dear darling dares whisper is a current minor interest.

Actually my child attended the RBS summer schools on the recommendation of their teacher. They then auditioned 2 years later for the school and went there at the age of 11 as a boarder. They danced professionally in Europe and the UK for 10 years after graduating the RBS.
And it isn't true that you have to start as a toddler, my DC was 9 when they started ballet. We were sceptical about auditioning them for the school but they reassured us it was about potential and not ability and that turned out to be true

ChamonixMountainBum · 02/09/2026 21:50

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 02/09/2026 18:13

Warhammer and Rowing

Now there is a combination!

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 02/09/2026 22:20

HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 13:45

You see - this is the only justified one, pre-professional and could have led to a job!

Otherwise spending £££ on ballet classes for a child with no proportions or music lesson when tone-deaf is such a waste.

It was actually full time ballet training with 15K fees per year, plus everything else that comes on top of it. And yes, their muscle structure and everything was assessed before they were accepted as part of the audition process. They intended to be a professional ballet dancer. Unfortunately, just before they turned 18, an injury took them out. However I think they learned a lot from the experience, were given the chance, and are now happy in another completely unrelated profession. I don't think education is ever a waste but I think it would have been an outrageous amount to spend on something that was only ever going to be 'just a hobby'. I suppose we all have to weigh the pros and cons of any activity.

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 02/09/2026 22:24

zingally · 02/09/2026 13:57

Agree. A school-mum-acquaintance has spent a small fortune since her DD announced, aged about 10, that she wanted to do ballet.
The mum immediately set up a "child's name ballerina" instagram page, and the way she spoke about it, was like her DD was going to be the next Darcey Bussell...
Thing is, anyone who knows ballet, knows that 10yo is too late to start, and although DD had a perfectly normal body shape, it was the wrong shape for ballet.
Mum threw everything at this ballet hobby, even repeated "holiday camp" things with the Royal Ballet - of course making out that DD had been specially invited to attend, but it's actually an "anyone can come if they can pay" thing...

4/5 years later, the ballet has been quietly dropped, and DD announced that she wants to do musical theatre... Of course, she's the next Carrie Hope Fletcher...

Ten isn't too late to start if they have talent. People have started even later and succeeded. The reality is, and we were warned when our children started elite training, that even those who graduate from professional training, only a very small minority will go on to succeed professionally. But we had to give them that chance. From what I've seen of those that graduated, this has been very true.

They do have to have the right body type though, something that is purely down to genetics and luck.

Musical theatre is a great option for those who have dance skills and acting skills IMO.

Dublassie · 02/09/2026 22:28

Music, horse , competitive gymnastics .

Wendy83 · 02/09/2026 22:34

My daughter does Elite Allstar Cheerleading
on the travel team so compete all around the UK, were taking her to Barcelona next year to compete!

HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 22:39

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 02/09/2026 22:20

It was actually full time ballet training with 15K fees per year, plus everything else that comes on top of it. And yes, their muscle structure and everything was assessed before they were accepted as part of the audition process. They intended to be a professional ballet dancer. Unfortunately, just before they turned 18, an injury took them out. However I think they learned a lot from the experience, were given the chance, and are now happy in another completely unrelated profession. I don't think education is ever a waste but I think it would have been an outrageous amount to spend on something that was only ever going to be 'just a hobby'. I suppose we all have to weigh the pros and cons of any activity.

Exactly, spot on.

RVectensian · 02/09/2026 23:13

HollyhocksandPeons · 02/09/2026 15:16

I am very utilitarian - my parents were the first to go to university in our family, prior to that there were only farmers and cattle traders, so for them to go to university, they had to demonstrate that doing it would lead to a job, comparable in income with farming and cattle trading, so they became doctors. They brought us up with a strictly utilitarian approach - for example, my piano lessons were stopped when I did not show promise and I was OK about it. Thousands of equally untalented children continue to suffer with poor outcomes, because it is 'discipline and good for you'.

Fitness is achieved by running outdoors, climbing trees and fences, running away from the police when trespassing - no need for tennis lessons, etc.

Discipline can be instilled at home - it is much easier than you think. As motivation, pride, grit.

Of course it can. But it can also be instilled by competitive sport, so why not?

Snugglemonkey · 02/09/2026 23:21

emptygoosenest · 02/09/2026 02:00

Ice hockey is bad, goalie even worse.

Oh no. We are headed this way!

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 02/09/2026 23:22

I think it's a shame to stop music lessons they enjoy just because they don't show potential, whatever that means. Potential for what? Professional musician? So if they aren't the next Beethoven it's not worth it? It's a great skill and I've found musical ability great for fun and social connection as an adult.

IabsolutelyhateteachingEnglish · 02/09/2026 23:28

@AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs I agree. DS9 plays in a chamber group for fun with some friends who learn from the same teacher as he does. They are not particularly advanced and don't show much potential, but their parents are prepared to keep going with the music lessons because it's a good thing for these kids to be doing. As far as i can tell the kids don't find it demoralising to be playing alongside DS who wants to be a professional musician and is operating at a much higher level - if anything they feel like they have the better deal as they're not really under any pressure and can spread their time across activities as thinly as they want.

BoldAmberCat · 02/09/2026 23:31

My daughter is a competitive showjumper. Her horses use up every penny of our money and every minute of our time. I love seeing her happy and enjoying herself, but the sacrifices we make are huge.

Nothingeverlastsforever · 02/09/2026 23:31

Dancing. To be fair she is 20 now and been to dance college and is a professional dancer, so starting to make a return on my investment 😂

XelaM · Yesterday 00:05

BoldAmberCat · 02/09/2026 23:31

My daughter is a competitive showjumper. Her horses use up every penny of our money and every minute of our time. I love seeing her happy and enjoying herself, but the sacrifices we make are huge.

Snap! You have my sympathy 💐 We had 3 ponies up until recently on livery (just sold 1 and about to sell the other - at a huge loss of course as we absolutely never make any money with horses 🤣 ) so down to just 1 but unfortunately for me my daughter is already eyeing up horses... (she's 16 so off ponies in a few months)