Anyone else's kids got extremely expensive hobbies?

[bjorni9]

What started as a casual club, has turned into a lifestyle. Mountain biking, 4x, bmx freestyle, bmx racing. It has saved my ND child's sanity, and drained my bank account. I buy and sell and work so much overtime just so we can continue. It is far better than any play therapy or council funded clubs we've ever received (especially for his mh and mood). Anyone else making big sacrifices for their kids' hobbies? If only football would've stuck!

Dressage..we are absolutely not in the league of the super rich but we certainly spend a lot of money! However, DD is smart, focused, massively hard working and her dedication is impressive. Wouldn’t swap it really though sometimes would like a holiday, and it can be hard to even out the finances across DS and DSCs but they all had the same opportunities, just chose not although all rode to a greater or lesser extent. There were always ponies outside the door, she was the one who grabbed it hardest.

I blame capitalism. Sorry, I shall be laughed at on here again, but some things, like health, care homes and education should only ever be state-run. Simply for the reason that there would be no incentive to prey on people for profit - and this is criminal.

If a child is not cut out for certain things, in the UK he or she will be enrolled just to make a profit - like in your ballet example. I can imagine how traumatic it is for the children who are not cut out for certain hobbies, to be training alongside truly gifted children - it must be soul-destroying, in addition to waste of money. It also gives this idiotic false hope, which can lead to depression.

Why is it only not a waste if they can earn from it? Discipline, team work, motivation, pride, grit, fitness etc...all worthy in their own right?

My older kids' secondary school has a dire sports offering, thank god for extra curriculars

I row competitively and thought it was not too expensive. Its not like you have to buy the boats and blades! I pay about £50 a month at my club and that gets me use of the gym, boat fleet, coaching, insurance etc. Probably pay another £15-20 per competition entry.

I am very utilitarian - my parents were the first to go to university in our family, prior to that there were only farmers and cattle traders, so for them to go to university, they had to demonstrate that doing it would lead to a job, comparable in income with farming and cattle trading, so they became doctors. They brought us up with a strictly utilitarian approach - for example, my piano lessons were stopped when I did not show promise and I was OK about it. Thousands of equally untalented children continue to suffer with poor outcomes, because it is 'discipline and good for you'.

Fitness is achieved by running outdoors, climbing trees and fences, running away from the police when trespassing - no need for tennis lessons, etc.

Discipline can be instilled at home - it is much easier than you think. As motivation, pride, grit.

DD does ballet, acting and choir which certainly adds up.

DS beats that into a cocked hat by getting into HEMA- Historical European Martial Arts.
Basically, a bunch of geeks handing out under some railway arches whacking each other with replica swords.

To be fair its only super expensive because he's underage and can't go to the main classes for insurance reasons. I pay out for individual tuition because I'm a mug indulgent that way.

We've just started our acro gymnastics journey and wow it escalated quickly, moved from a council gymnastics program a year ago into a private one as it felt more fitting for her gymnastics interests. Annoyingly the council one was a small uplift charge on her swimming membership.

Went from 1 x 1 hour class a week to 2 x 2 hour classes within a month. Within 3 months she had an additional TOPS class, so 3 x 2 hour classes. In March she then went to 4 classes a week and now does 11 hours a week. Just been selected for the competition group and now has comps all over the country for the next 6 months, with associated group leotards that are £££, travel costs, hotels, entry fees...Plus the usual club leotard, tracksuit, t-shirt, backpack which are all apparently mandatory. British gymnastics membership, club membership, blah blah blah

At no stage was it explained all the excepted costs and what we were committing to! But she LOVES it, her confidence has sky rocketed, she's made some great friends (as have I) and even with the usual club mis comms and changes she is remarkably resilient

Honestly though why? Not all hobbies lead to jobs. But if you dedicate yourself to learning something and achieving something and doing something hard that's a lesson in itself. My daughter will not be a professional dancer - she's injury prone and simply not good enough. But the hours and hours of focus and learning and working and trying and organising and collaborating are all worth something in themselves too. It's not training for something later, it's teaching her so much right now.

Oh wow, I am so delighted to see this one. Horses, horses, dance, dance, ice sports... and medieval sword training in alleyways!!? Love it.

You scratched the itch so i will explain it.

This is another aspect of 'keep up with the Jones's'

My child does this. My child does that. My child is expected to be olympic standard by such and such. Its got to the point where no child with any born talent has a chance unless their parent has money. Football is now 1-1 sessions that are paid by the hour. Strength and conditioning is done by qualified experts who charge by the hour. No one really gets anywhere now with volunteers and it is ruining childrens sport. Gone are the kids who love sport for the sake of loving it, its a badge of honour for the parents.

Equipment is now hundreds if not thousands of ££££. Nothing is local anymore so its parents booking hotels and travelling all over. Internation trips for little lord fontleroys is normal for training camps.

All so mummy & daddy can show off their offspring.

So yes, i do see it as pathetic when someone 'invests' more than they can afford to keep up with the other families who can afford it. Trust me, i saw everything while my child competed at world level. It didnt matter what job or financial footing the person had they did everything to manipulate the situation to suit their child. Some more horrible than others.

Thankfully i wouldnt take that route. I paid what i could and i taught myself to coach in a sport i never had any experience of and it was a hugely technical sport. My DD gave up competing and is now on her own path of happiness so i am content i didnt deprive her of anything whilst not risking our own financial future.

Id be amazed if any hobbies/sports would come close to the expense of keeping horses.

The buying is the cheap bit. It’s the same with any pet, I suppose…our dog would have cost £10k this year if it wasn’t for insurance!

Horses. Me and dd compete. It's incredibly expensive and we can't sustain it so after this season ends, I will be hanging up my eventing boots 🥺

I don’t see how taking on some more hours at work is any different from learning how to coach. They are both putting in some extra hours to improve your child’s life. Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder to be honest.

One of the sacrifices i hated and put more stress on things than having to say no to financial constraints.

Having to choose which child spends more time with which parent. It got to the point i was missing big chunks of my other childs life. Its not worth it.

I have got a chip on my shoulder about how we are ruining childrens health and future sport involvment by monetising it. Its ok i can afford it, i can work a few more hours or teach myself to coach doesnt work for everyone.

Hardly any kids play football in the street. Ask a kid to take part in PE or sports day and half the kids would have a heart attack or their parents would write them a note to avoid it.

It all stems from the financial input of parents into their kids 'performance' to keep up with the Jones's

each dc does (did) a sport and a musical instrument.

competing in either is where it gets expensive as you need proper, for some sports regulated, kit and insurance, fees, extra training sessions.

I see what you are saying, but unfortunately we all have finite resources, be it time or energy. And at some point your daughter will be applying to university - and this is the moment you would be saying 'I wish she was going to a physics/chemistry/literature/French/history/classics society, and kicking yourself. Hours and hours of focus and learning and trying and organising and collaborating in those societies will pay off big time.

Obviously, if there is no pressure to find a paying job after university and you are comfortably off, then it is a different matter - you can do any hobby, indulge in your dreams, no problem.

However for the majority of parents this is not the case and they need to spend money on something that will give a sort of an outcome.

And this concerns not just school years' hobbies, but choosing degrees too - my dad really wanted to do archaeology, but was from the wrong background, and he had to cut his cloth accordingly - his parents said they would only support him and pay for him if he applied to medicine, which he did.

No, I completely agree with you. It was a shameless money grab by the Royal Ballet. Yes, I'm certain there were children there who ARE genuinely on a path to be professional ballerinas, who have been doing it since they were toddlers.

But also, it wasn't really the Royal Ballet's issue... The issue is the fame-hungry mothers who assume their very average child is destined to be the next big thing in whatever their dear darling dares whisper is a current minor interest.

My daughter has a 'lot' of energy. She has great grades, is in top set for everything she can be, is on the debate club and eco-club and French club at lunchtimes and choreographs the musical each year and has glowing reports from all her teachers. She is aiming for law school and is very much on track to do that.

She does 'not' excel at socialising or teenagers but she is excellent at everything else. If I pulled her from dance she would just be reading in her room, she wouldn't be out with friends or relaxing. She's pretty intense really so channelling it into something physical alongside all her academics works well for her.

I had a lot less money than she has behind her and had to go to Uni for practical reasons and worked full time throughout. Majored in business and have worked in offices ever since (and am lucky to have done so!). I'm glad she can dream a bit bigger and have some time that isn't specifically productive.

at primary school age sports are mostly cheap. big groups and equipment is often owned by the club.

once you need to buy specialist equipment it gets expensive. once you get into competition even more. but grassroots fun sports stay reasonable ime

Mine competed internationally in Figure Skating, including World Championships. Skates for higher levels start at around 1000 and then the blades need to be purchased too. Coaching, costumes and travel are also expensive.

But, by the time they were 17/18 the top companies gifted them boots and blades and some clothing. Hotels and meals are covered at many events by the International Skating Union and their International body, who they were representing covered much of the travel itself.

Even in the lower levels, it's not a cheap sport. There's a lot of hard work and coaching involved before competing internationally.

I can hand on heart promise you (from personal experience - we bought our own pony after 1 year of twice weekly lessons) that this absolutely would not be the case. For a decent first pony you’re talking mid 4 figures. Add another £1k on top of that for tack and rugs. Farrier for new shoes every 6 weeks. Physio and vet as needed. Dentist every 6 months. Insurance. Livery costs (we paid £250/month on assisted DIY - considered very cheap), lessons, feed, haylage and supplements, competition fees, copious amounts of fuel, horse box, riding gear for the DC.. I could go on!!!

Monetary issues aside, you end up quite literally spending your life covered in mud at the stables and can never fully relax - horses are not easy animals to keep and it’s not a lifestyle for the faint hearted. Coming from a non horsey background it was a massive adjustment and a huge learning curve for us.

Dance - but on reading this thread, it suddenly seems an awful lot cheaper!

Luckily other DC gets their kicks by climbing trees, playing football on the street and going on (non-organised) bike rides.

Warhammer and Rowing