AIBU to find a baby shower wish list a bit grabby?

[Handrearedmagpie]

Friend having baby shower. I freely admit to liking baby showers, which previously have just been groups of female friends/family getting together for cakes, some wee games & a good catch up for the new mum before life gets busy.

However, friend has sent out invites for her baby shower (men included - fine, each to their own) but with an Amazon gift wish list included?!?!?! Like, aren't gifts meant to be given once baby is safely here?! Are we meant to provide good gifts (as opposed to a token baby shower gifts) twice?!

It's been a while since I've been to a baby shower as this friend is younger than me, so maybe I'm just out of date & "wish lists" are a thing? AIBU to think it's grabby??

@Anarchy99 We take a bottle of wine and some flowers. A baby shower is about taking a gift for an unborn baby though.

I have just been reading that Baptism gifts are the norm in the USA as well as a gift when a baby is born. There’s no end to the giving it appears.

I only knew about people taking wine/flowers etc from MN! It wasn’t the norm when I was growing up or in fact now.

I guess I don’t see the point of someone being invited for a meal or whatever and then having to fork out on gifts for the person inviting them (obvs if it’s a birthday or whatever then I would). But then I’m biased as I don’t like wine/chocolates/flowers etc!

@Anarchy99 I’m 70 and we’ve always taken wine. Flowers too if staying over. All our friends do the same and we always have done. It’s so the host doesn’t have to provide everything! We just see it as good manners and a thank you. I don’t see it as forking out. You don’t buy the thank you gift for you. So what you like is immaterial. We sometimes take a home made jam or pickle. Doesn’t have to be wine.

I have just been reading that Baptism gifts are the norm in the USA as well as a gift when a baby is born. There’s no end to the giving it appears.

Perhaps among some. It is often the custom to give a baptism gift, but not really expected except from godparents. It's not generally expected to give a gift when the baby is born if you have given a shower gift.

My comment about the wine etc was just a flippant one because it’s always something people suggest giving people for some reason.

I also wasn’t implying that it’s a generational thing either.I just don’t know anyone who does this - the people I know don’t expect guests to turn up with stuff for them.

I’m just imagining the mother to be marking off a spreadsheet of who has given at the shower and who is expected to give after the birth!

Up to individuals of course but it doesn’t stop it being grabby. I suppose attending the shower means you can dodge the inevitable ‘meet’ the baby ritual though.

Up to individuals of course but it doesn’t stop it being grabby.

The cultural context stops it being grabby if it is happening in the US.

What is the cultural context in the US?