Dd, boyfriend and flat purchase

[cupfinalchaos]

Dd has been renting with her boyfriend. She has told me they have discussed getting engaged next year. Out of the blue he was bought a beautiful flat in London by his family, and wants dd to move there with him. She would be paying rent for a finite period of time to cover certain costs.

My AIBU is that I feel if they plan to get engaged shortly, surely they should be buying together? We would have helped with a small deposit and dd earns as much as he does, if not more. I’m delighted for her boyfriend who I love, but also want DD to get onto the property ladder.

I would absolutely never buy property with someone I wasn’t married to. It’s so risky in a still relatively short term, not that committed relationship. He has done absolutely the right thing. She can contribute to living costs when they move in together and save for her side of a future deposit. In a few years, when they’re married (if they get that far!), they can look to buy together with her deposit and equity from his flat.

My now-DH moved into a flat that I already owned. He didn’t pay rent so was able to save his deposit and we eventually sold ‘my flat’ and combined the money that I made with his deposit buy a place together. It worked fine for us and was much better that we both worked out if we were happy to live together before entering into the commitment of buying somewhere together.

That’s very generous of your DD’s partner to change the flat to 50/50 ownership if they marry. Having kids complicates things anyway I guess, if they do.

Yes but i was assuming it will be below market rent, thus allowing her to save and invest more. If not, then i too wojld be concerned. As uou say, fine dor a while when young.

They won’t be in a flat forever. Save the deposit offer for when it’s time!

Thank you so much.. perhaps I’m just thinking about it the wrong way.

She’ll never be able to save half of what that flats worth.

But that's not then out the blue. Why did she not have a discussion with him at the time about buying jointly? Or is she happy with the planned arrangement?

But honestly- I'd let them get on with it. Maybe it will work out, and maybe it won't do- but none of us know what the future holds for any relationship.

He didn't buy the flat.

She doesn't need to.

I don’t get it. She gets to live somewhere nicer than she can afford and will pay out less than it would cost her living on her own. I’ll call your bluff. How about she refuses to move in and ‘gets on the ladder’ herself instead. See where that gets her.
Sounds sensible to me. He has a great flat. She gets to live in it for reduced rent. So she’s not taking the piss while they work out whether they want to pool resources. He’s not stopping her doing anything.

Ah yes I missed that detail. He'd have been mad to have turned down the offer of a flat! And his family would want to protect their investment (and it may not even be in his name).

If I was OP's daughter I'd enjoy the reduced rent in what is likely a nicer property than their current property and save my own investments (whether that's property, or stocks & shares etc)

When they get married, it should be/ could become a joint asset.. she could discuss that with him

She should pay rent and bills as an adult who does not own a home. A fair rent will still allow her to save.

😂😂😂 really? You think she should live rent free in London, funded by her boyfriend's family?

@cupfinalchaos So if he's been bought the flat outright by his parents, why will he be charging your DD rent. Obviously she should pay half the bills etc but rent seems a bit steep. Or when you say "rent", do you actually mean paying for her keep?

But it will be cheaper than market rent, trust me, renting in London is very expensive. This is her time to pay less than market rent, save and put towards a deposit if she so wishes

Fair question and one I knew was coming.. it’s to do with how the flat was purchased but I left out that detail as would be too outing. She’s obviously very happy to pay rent though.

No it's not, it's perfectly reasonable

How would it be outing. MNers put that on so many threads as though other people on the thread would recognise them from some vague details.. Even if they did, why would that matter on this thread?

She should pay half of the bills
and a nominal amount for rent like say 2–300
a month

I don’t get it where people think they are entitled to live for free

she can save what she would have paid for rent so if they do go buy together she had a pot for that

i wouldn’t be surprised if the parents have bought but it’s belongs to them not DS or that it’s in some sort of trust to keep gold diggers at bay 😂

If they have money to buy outright a flat in London they are probably smart enough to protect it

Fair enough. So I assume it wasn't bought exactly outright for him. I must admit, I wouldn't expect my possibly soon to be fiance to charge me rent!

Not exactly the same circumstances but in a similar situation dc bought a BTL property with us effectively buying a percentage. This was later sold at the same time the house they were living in was sold and another property purchased by them together.
Sometimes circumstances mean that one of a couple is better placed to buy and they end up with one as owner and one not on the deeds. Concerning especially when it is a female not having an interest in the property but in many cases it is a temporary stage.

As long as the rent is below market rate and is being used to cover her share of the bills and towards wear and tear. That when he does pay for repairs and maintenance or furniture, he doesn’t then ask her to pay her share of these on top of what she’s paying him over and above bills.

Is she paying a market rent for the area or a nominal rent? Is she paying this rent directly to her boyfriend or to his parents?

If she is paying a market rent for the area, their finances will be quite unbalanced as he will have so much more disposable income than her. This might have a negative impact on their relationship.