People saying you look young for your age

[Percypiggz]

It's not a brag of any sort, I've no interest in looking younger, I just want to look well. I'm 35 so still relatively young, and anyway I much prefer how I look now to how I did at 25.

The issue is I now get embarrassed when people find out my age- I don't go round sharing it but people are curious and eventually ask how old you are, colleagues, partners' friends etc.

Im so bored of the same reaction- "You're 35??!! No, stop!!! Omg I thought you were 25!!! Omg!!!'

I know a lot of people would love this and take it as a huge compliment but I'm genuinely not interested- I'm not saying every single person does but I've heard this many times over the years.

What am I meant to answer- thanks, I know? I just smile politely and laugh it off. My partner's friend's wife who is only a year older said to me "Oh you're really young aren't you." And I told her I was a year younger than her.

I think people have this idea in their head that people in their 30s should have lots of wrinkles and look weathered- probably thinking of films and TV shows in the 90s when 30s tended to look much older.

Does anyone else have this and it's unwanted? How do you deal with it? I had a friend who I'd known for 10 years and who I'd done a Masters with 10 years ago so quite obviously had to be at least 21 back then.
She said 'Omg you're in your 30s??? You look amazing!!' Despite me knowing her for over a decade, how old was i going to be really?
I feel embarrassed now about people knowing my age because I've no idea how to react.

I understand what you mean OP albeit I am MUCH older than you. I think it sometimes is about the age of the person remarking - by that I mean it’s hard for me to discern someone in late twenties to mid thirties - I really can’t judge any more. If someone is close in age to the person they comment on then it comes across as disingenuous. Whether it’s meant to be or not is another matter.
Im 51 and.. a smoker .. so there is no WAY I look as young as some people say (given that I afford the same age blindness to all people- if someone who is 25 can’t tell if I’m 41 or 51 I think they just see “a lot older than me” and don’t have much more interest than that) but as times have changed so much I think I look normal for my age. I’m not wrinkly. Or crepe-y skinned. I don’t have jowls either, or if I have my head up rather than looking at a phone..
Sometimes it is just a compliment. But it’s hard to take it that way all the time!!! (Just for a laugh I’ll tell you a healthcare worker tried to tell me it can’t have been that long since I was 27.. I was like .. almost half my life ago son).

😂😂😂

I think 99.9% of people are just being polite when they say someone looks young for their age.
Everyone seems to say it to everyone.
I never take it seriously.

It's not that uncommon to look 5-10 years younger at 35. Once you hit 45-ish, your age will catch up with you.

If you are flattered by it then just reply "oh thank you, that's nice of you to say" as you would any compliment. Then turn the conversation back to them by asking them a question, paying them a compliment etc.

I think people have this idea in their head that people in their 30s should have lots of wrinkles and look weathered- probably thinking of films and TV shows in the 90s when 30s tended to look much older.

This makes no sense. Why would you be surrounded by people, presumably of all ages, who are incredulous at your youthful appearance because they think 30somethings should be wrinkly and weathered because they watch a lot of 90s TV?

I’ve only experienced this recently - when I say I have a 28 year old daughter, everyone seems to say “did you have her very young?”. No, and I look 57 (today actually; first time I’ve typed that). I think people have an internalised view of what a certain age looks like.

Enjoy it! I used to get this all the time in my 20s and 30s. Not so much in my 40s! haha. It does happen sometimes, but that's usually more of a comment on how I dress and live my life than my actual face. By that I mean some people my age have really settled into being middle aged and dressing older and going to bed early. I still enjoy going to gigs and dressing however the hell I like.

I think it helps that we had our kids pretty young so compared to parents of our older kids' friends we are about 15 years younger.

I don't do botox or fillers but I've not got old looking skin thanks to genetics, not smoking, and being on the chubby side!

I tell people how old my daughter is, if they ask. She's nearly 27 now. They work out that on average I'm at least 20 years older, or say something like you must have had her really young, etc. I was actually 31 when she was born, so no. I've got used to not looking my age, but I've started grey blending now so they'll hopefully stop saying it, even though I have few lines/wrinkles.

When I was 29/30 people kept asking me if I was a new graduate in my new job, which used to infuriate me as I wanted my experience to count! My 30 year old colleague was unhappy that no one was asking the same question of her, but then she was an avid sunbed user 😂.

I’m now pushing 50 and people are still surprised, but obvs don’t think I’m 21 anymore!

I get the same. I'm nearly 46 but I have a 7yo DD so between her age and my looks, people assume I'm younger. I don't mind it so much but when one of my mum friends (well she's a friend of a friend) found out how old I was about a month ago she said, "wow I didn't realise you were so old." Ummm...thanks? 😅

I get so tired of this. I'm 89 now and still have people every hour, of every day telling me that I look 25!

I don't usually tell people my secret but I'll tell you, fellow Munsnetters! I have fairies at the end of my garden and they spin me special cloths that I place on my face every night. I cannot move house because of this.

It is a gift, and it is a curse.

But this debate has no answer or solution. Are you going go around asking people not to compliment you on your looks or when they do, tell them to shut up? Most men and women see it as a compliment because one's physical appearance is also a reflection of their sprit, personality, dressing sense. All of this contributes to looks. It's an appreciation. Why view it so negatively and make such a big deal of it?

I get this too and also find it embarrassing. I think my issue is that I think I look immature. It’s taken me a while to find my sense of style (I still don’t really have one as I don’t like to spend a lot on clothes) so I take it to mean I look unsophisticated. I’ve also not achieved everything I want to in life so I relate it to that as well (if someone I know personally says “I thought you were younger”).

I get this too... I work in a school and I've been asked lots of time why I'm not in uniform. I'm pushing 40.
Salespeople ask to speak with my parents when I open my front door.
I also have EDS, so that makes me look younger.
Some people have been really nasty when saying I must have been a child myself when I had kids - er, no I was not!!

People saying why view it negatively, it's not them thinking you look younger, it's the over-the-top reactions when they find out and the faux shock.

I’m 38 with a 16yo. I do look a lot younger and always get the “omggg you look like sisters”. “No way are you her mum”. Bore off. I hate it.

I’m 33 and get this from students every so often, they genuinely seem surprised I’m not in my mid 20s. I don’t know how genuine it is since I feel I look my age and have no issue with this.

Im 40 and get it SO much. Sometimes people dont take me seriously and treat me like i am a younger person. Othertimes i know i’ll look fab on my bus pass if i dont dramatically age by then lol

it has its pros and cons. I often dont feel like i fit in because people assume im younger and dont engage with me.

ive been asked if i was my kids sister, ive been asked what school we both go to. Someone thought I was DHs daughter - AWKWARD

People have said for years that i look young. I worked in McDonalds in my early 20's and an older customer said she honestly thought I was 16. I am 40 at the end if this year and am still mistaken for early 30's. It is what it is, people have always said I'll be glad of bit when i'm 40, I don't know what that means.

Happy birthday @Thewalrusandthecarpenter I hope you have a wonderful year!

Speak for yourself! I get told I look young for my age a lot. I don't have a problem with it. Not sure why anyone would? People deep everything these days...

Thank you very much!

I think it's fairly standard to hear this - most people try to be kind. It's the same as being told to guess someone's age - you always knock at least 10 years off what you really thing so you don't upset the person.

My DH is mid-50’s but is frequently mistaken for being 20 years younger. He finds it hilarious. I find it infuriating as he’s 2 years older than me yet I’m the one with white hair.