People saying you look young for your age

[Percypiggz]

It's not a brag of any sort, I've no interest in looking younger, I just want to look well. I'm 35 so still relatively young, and anyway I much prefer how I look now to how I did at 25.

The issue is I now get embarrassed when people find out my age- I don't go round sharing it but people are curious and eventually ask how old you are, colleagues, partners' friends etc.

Im so bored of the same reaction- "You're 35??!! No, stop!!! Omg I thought you were 25!!! Omg!!!'

I know a lot of people would love this and take it as a huge compliment but I'm genuinely not interested- I'm not saying every single person does but I've heard this many times over the years.

What am I meant to answer- thanks, I know? I just smile politely and laugh it off. My partner's friend's wife who is only a year older said to me "Oh you're really young aren't you." And I told her I was a year younger than her.

I think people have this idea in their head that people in their 30s should have lots of wrinkles and look weathered- probably thinking of films and TV shows in the 90s when 30s tended to look much older.

Does anyone else have this and it's unwanted? How do you deal with it? I had a friend who I'd known for 10 years and who I'd done a Masters with 10 years ago so quite obviously had to be at least 21 back then.
She said 'Omg you're in your 30s??? You look amazing!!' Despite me knowing her for over a decade, how old was i going to be really?
I feel embarrassed now about people knowing my age because I've no idea how to react.

I have aged since then, when I look back on pictures. I know they're intending it as a compliment but it's the dramatic over the top shock, whilst I just stand there awkwardly. Before people accuse me of bragging I had a huge round and spotty face at 25, so I don't want to go back at all.

People do it to me too. Im around your age. I think they expect you to look like a haggard crone as soon as we hit 30. I just say "ok thanks" and move on. I mean who cares? I'd rather they compliment my sense of humour or capabilities instead.

Oh just to add i had the sainsburys delivery man doesn't an age check on me and do the same incredulous routine. I said "its probably the acne" as I was breaking out at the time. It gets wearing.

Just smile and say ‘thanks’! I don’t know why people struggle to take a compliment.

Well, if it's any comfort, one day when you hit menopause you'll be wrinkly with jowls down to your arse and pores the size of Vesuvius craters.
Just enjoy it while it lasts.

It's so weird and also rude I think. It's usually aimed at women too sadly.

That's fine but I don't need to enjoy it, because I'm ok with ageing and don't see it as a failure.

Because it's not just a compliment sometimes, I stand there for 5 minutes whilst they're going on and on about it and it's too much.

Whatever then.

I get it all the time. People think my son is my partner. I've been blessed with very good genes. I'm also incredibly beautiful and have a fantastic figure, which is quite a burden.

It is rude. They think its a compliment to look young when it isn't. With a smattering of misogyny too, of course.

I've asked a friend before "What's a 30+ year old meant to look like?" And they couldn't answer. It's as if your face melts the day you turn 30.

I’m a lot older than you (46) and people say it to me when they hear I have an 18 yo. Actually I get ‘oh- you must have been very young when you had him with a judge stare and because I’m irritated that they judge young women who have kids I sometimes shrug other times I’ll tell them and they do the laugh and say they thought I was about 36. I hate it!!

I feel like I won't be taken as seriously, I've had an older colleague call me a 'young girl' before at work.

I once had a manager at work (female) really lay into me, accusing me of lying for some kind of attention seeking dramatic effect (?) when I reassured a colleague in front of her that I was indeed old enough to remember X because I was 53.

It got really nasty. I have EDS and hypermobility and as a result of that, my skin does look like that of a much younger person, but she was absolutely vile about it!! 🤣

@BleedinglyObvious Me too but it's a cross we have to bear.

I've refused to discuss my age with anyone for years, albeit `I am decades older than you, OP. You don't have to get involved in that sort of conversation. You can ignore any comments, or turn the conversation to something else.

We look much different than people our age did 30, 40, 50 years ago. Different clothes and hairstyles. Plus being stuck indoors working a lot means our skin looks better as less sun damage generally.

I am nearing 40 and always get mistaken for being in my 20s. I don't find it offensive or anything.

I've had a salesman come to my front door before and ask if my parents were home, as he wanted to speak to them about new windows. I think I was mid thirties at the time and had a child to collect from school 😅 he was so shocked someone that apparently was so young could have their own house

In your predicament I'd just say "oh yeah I get that all the time. I use X face cream, perhaps you should try it" etc. Use it as a boast to your ego, not something to be embarrassed or frustrated over. But I understand why it would annoy you.

I myself can be surprised when I find out people's ages- I was shocked to hear Isla Fisher is 50, but she wouldn't be any less attractive if she looked her age.

I get it too, people actually think I have done botox… i just say “thank you, got a good skincare routine going on!”

I'm just trying to think of a polite response that moves it on, the other day my colleague who found out was asking, omg what's your secret?? Is it botox??? What do you do?

It's just said that looking young is always associated with looking better/more attractive for many people, don't see it changing though.

I used to get this - I always looked young for my age, absolutely hated it at school when at 18, I looked about 12 ! When I was in my mid 30's, married with 2 kids, someone asked me if I was still at school. I also sounded young, my voice wasn't very grown up, especially over the phone - a real pain when doing phone interviews for jobs etc.

Any way, I'm now 66 and the youthful looks continued until I was early to mid 50s, then I suddenly aged, hair went grey, wrinkles appeared, sagginess around the neck, quite a shock to the system, I'd catch sight of myself in shop windows and think 'who's that old woman who looks a bit like me ?'
I wish I could go back to my looking young days.
I have a very dear friend who always looked her correct age until she hit about 45 then she seemed to stop ageing, she's the same age as me and look totally fabulous.

Ageing is a very odd thing, and stress, life events, illness and genetics all play apart I think. I think people meant o be complimentary when they say you look young, but it does get a bit tedious, I'm also pretty short and people frequently comment 'you're very small aren't you?' like I hadn't noticed !

I had it until I was about 47, then I suddenly aged into myself

If 56 and get it a lot. I usually assume they're taking the mickey and/or they don't really know what someone of 56 "should" look like.