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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel awkward accepting my SIL's lift to hospital? - I'm not used to kindness!

27 replies

pontipinemum · Yesterday 12:45

My SIL (husbands sister) has very kindly offered to drive me to the hospital the day I am having a non cancerous breast lump removed.

I had said I would take the bus, it's about 1.5hr bus trip. DH was then going to collect me after as it is just a day surgery but I will have been under general and won't be driving! We have 2 very young DSs who he needs to take to nursery.

SIL has said no, she will take me, then WFH in the canteen at the hospital. Or do some 'bits' in the city.

I am not used to people being kind to me like this. This lump developed when DS2 was 4 days old, and I was seen immediately. My own 'DM' was hardly interested. Didn't offer to help in any way. I told her, we spoke about it for approx 1 minute, then it was back to her big problems of the day. We have an immensely fractured relationship.

I am immensely grateful to her. But also quite uncomfortable, because I am not used to this. I am telling myself though that I need to accept the help, it is something I would do for her/ any of my friends or family.

That like other people I also deserve kindness. But I still have this underlying feeling that I am putting her out, and that I shouldn't take up her time like this.

YABU - She offered, she wants to do this
YANBU - all manor of awful things I could say about why I do not deserve the lift

OP posts:
NorthFacingGardener · Yesterday 14:18

Hope the surgery goes well OP. And hope the unanimous poll helps convince you.
I’m sure you would do the same for your SIL/ friends so why wouldn’t they want to do it for you.

Raraskirtsagogo · Yesterday 14:23

Best of luck with your surgery, hope all goes smoothly.

I understand exactly what you're saying. My mother never showed me kindness, in childhood or as an adult. Its very hard to accept kind gestures even you have that background isn't it. It's like you don't know what to do with it.

You DO deserve this kindness..

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