AIBU to expect grandparents to wrap birthday presents for young children?

[Stoptheworldiwanttogetoff]

I feel like this is a really petty issue to be annoyed about but my partners parents never wrap birthday presents for my DC. They are 8 and 5 years old now but this has always been the case and for me I feel like part of the excitement of birthday presents for kids is the unwrapping. They just shove the presents in a bag and give them to my DC some time near their birthday so if it’s a few days beforehand they can see exactly what they have got so no lovely surprise on their actual birthday. My DPs siblings do the same thing so not sure if it’s a family thing. All my family wrap presents and I thought it was just standard practice. As an adult I wouldn’t really care but for children I just feel like it takes away some of the magic of birthdays. It comes across to me that they just can’t be arsed. Before people start jumping on about being ungrateful blah blah blah, I am grateful that they get my DC gifts and my DC will always thank them for whatever they are gifted. And to cover any other bases, they are retired so not that they don’t have time and they are well off so not that they can’t afford wrapping paper and tape! They make very little effort with my DC anyway so maybe that is a factor in how I feel about this but please let me know if I am being unreasonable for expecting presents for young children to be wrapped

If you are bothered about them seeing what they have got before their birthday. Just take the gift bags from the IL's, and don't let them give them straight to your children, and just say 'thank you, I will put these aside until the actual day' and then when they have gone, just selotape the bag up so they at least have to get the selotape off to open the bag.

If its on the day itself then they will be opening it straight away anyway surely?

I prefer bags for environmental reasons, I would put a piece of tissue paper over it, though. I'd have a few colours in and put one in, to hide what it is.

My mother is odd about presents. We once went for dinner with my father in law, she’d got him a four pack of beer and was just going to hand it to him across the table in the restaurant a bit like going to a student party! She also regifted him a tin of biscuits she’d been bought, it was a musical tin and again just handed it to him and then it became clear she’d no idea what it was .

she would never wrap anything , she doesn’t really buy presents but on the rare occasion she does and if she puts it in a gift bag she is very self congratulatory.

i think it’s off though like the op, but she obviously gets no pleasure out of buying gifts. She’s generally self centred and odd though - so my daughter had to wait a week for her 16th present as we didn’t go to her and the meal we were going out for wasn’t til a week after her birthday. As she gave her the present she told my daughter that it was late but it didn’t matter. So she kind of knows I think that she makes no effort but justifies it.

i once didn’t get a proper birthday card i got a generic pack one as I didn’t go and visit her on my birthday.

Grandparents give your child a gift and they don’t get to see them open it! Why do you make them wait until the birthday to open and not include the giver? That seems really unfair to me.

Because if it’s like mine it’s probably a bit of a manifestation of other stuff. So I know you can’t be bothered and this is it in physical form! Low effort as op says generally.

But the present is in a gift bag, not an ordinary carrier bag. I've hardly received a present wrapped in paper in years. Surely a gift bag is wrapping?

I can see your point with young children. Can you not ask them or you wrap them up after? I don’t usually wrap presents for older except at Xmas as to me it’s being green.

I’d just be grateful that they had given my child a gift tbh. I don’t think anyone has a right to expect someone should do something a certain way in regards to gifting just because the recipient prefers something to be done a certain way

MIL never wrapped
Never bought a present
Sent me the money to do it.

It irked. It meant she couldn't be bothered. She was retired and had all the time in the world. I was working full time, two childrwn at schools in opposite directions. Zero respect for the time of others.

Some people wrap gifts and some don’t, it’s really that simple. No you can’t tell others to do it your way.

I actually love wrapping gifts beautifully but I don’t agree young children prefer it, the wrapping is gone in seconds for them and in the end the gift is the same. I don’t think they really care.

I always wrap presents, i enjoy wrapping and I enjoy watching the recipient unwrap. Its is lazy not to wrap up presents, however what i think is petty was my grandmother who complained about receiving a beautifully wrapped present in a carrier bag, it was purely for transportation purposes but after that i always had to buy a bloody gift bag for her.

I can't imagine giving a single shit about this.

As if all this time the presents were in gift bags!!! Your OP is making it seem like it was either handed straight in the child’s hand a week before their birthday or a grubby old Asda bag.
A gift bag is a perfectly normal way to present a gift!

You are being petty and mean spirited.
My mum used to come round on Christmas day with a carrier bag filled with presents. Some were wrapped, others not, but she had the gift of wrapping a perfectly square shape looking like she had wrapped a crumpled football.

How I wish she were still not wrapping, or badly wrapping, those pressies.

All presents from me are in reusable gift bags - no waste and no struggling with sellotape.

I’m surprised the responses here. Children love unwrapping presents, that’s 99% of the joy for them! Mine has been known to play more with the wrapping paper or box than the gift itself

Always give gifts in a bag because I hate wrapping, I only endure it for my own DC. FIL gave DS his bday gift in the Amazon packaging this year, he wasn’t remotely bothered.

I voted YANBU because I thought you meant like a carrier bag. However a gift bag is acceptable.

I do agree that wrapping paper is more of a treat, especially for young kids… but I think you are slightly overreacting tbh.

My MIL doesn't wrap either. I don't have kids, but even a gift bag would be better and you can re-use them.

The Christmas tree will have all manner of carrier bags around the base, so the gift stays in the plastic bag it was bought it! If we were very lucky, she'd have written someone's name on the bag, but often no name.

One year I got a pair of boys spiderman pants with a melted bag of frozen peas! My apparent gift was never found.😕

Yes. By bitching about the presentation on mumsnet. Nice

I usually wrap presents but if I use a gift bag I do this, which I think would solve OP's issue.

Are they environmentalists?

I thought a gift bag was wrapping! Now I have to reassess everything I thought I knew about gift giving. 😂 Wrapping is terrible for the environment and a gift bag can be reused so YABU.

Oh my goodness. It's a gift bag. And you're complaining that it's not wrapped?!! I thought you were unreasonable when you said bag, thought it was any old carrier bag. Christ, you must be such fun. Listen, not everyone has time, some worry about killing trees, some can't wrap, and some just think a gift bag is enough. Typically it's even more expensive than wrapping paper. Maybe they're thinking it's nicer than wrapping. I can't believe the things that can bother people....

So just to clarify, I am only talking about wrapping presents for young children. This has been the case with my in-laws since 1st birthdays, at which point they were more interested in ripping apart the paper than the actual gift inside, I’m sorry but it just isn’t the same with a gift bag. Even now at 8 and 5 they get enjoyment out of unwrapping their gifts. For gifts for adults or older children I really don’t think it matters.

it is not an issue of them not having time, like I said previously they are both retired and do very little aside from the weekly shop and going out for walks.

it is not down to them having an environmental concern about the waste involved in using wrapping paper as they do wrap up Christmas presents. I also have known these people for over a decade and I know that they are not particularly ‘green’ in general.

it is genuinely just a case that they can’t be arsed!