AIBU to think my husband hid that I was in the room?

[Waheymum]

Those morning, DH was on a video-call to his mother, with our toddler on his lap. I went in and sat down, feeding the baby. MIL (who is for some reason opposed to breastfeeding- I suspect it's because she didn't do it) asked after the baby, DH said something like "oh, DW is just feeding her". At that moment, the baby came off and I said something like "she's off now, you can have her?" and DH shook his head at me. No idea what's going on there. I'm not allowed to speak to MIL because I had an argument with her after DH scapegoated me (long story, dysfunctional in-laws) a while ago, but later messaged her, apologised, explained (along the lines of) it's mad to be causing a rift in the family and we need to get on for the sake of my DH and DCs. She seemed to accept the notion that we at least need to appear to get on. I assume she hasn't mentioned this to DH. I can't remember if I did, possibly, possibly not.

N.B. I wasn't going to be on the call at any point, I was simply offering to hand the baby to my husband. Maybe he didn't want to admit I was in the room? Any other logical explanations?

You reconciled with your MIL and never mentioned it to your DH?

He probably thinks he’s just avoiding drama keeping you apart - communicate to him that you’ve buried the hatchet!

You asked if he wanted the baby when he already had the toddler and was on the phone. When he shook his head to say no isn’t it just because he didn’t have enough hands? Why does a head shake mean he was trying to hide you?

What did he say when you asked why he shook his head?

He already had the toddler on his lap, he didn’t want to hold the baby too. I don’t think that means he was hiding that you were in the room?

As said, he had your toddler and just wanted a conversation with his Mum, perhaps he wanted to end the call and taking the baby would mean staying on. Why the drama?

I don't see what I'm supposed to do? Please do enlighten me.

I just thought it was weird. My parents would want to see both the children.

I just can’t imagine a scenario where you wouldn’t be allowed to talk to MIL due to an argument, but then you spoke to her directly and somewhat cleared the air and agreed to move on from it, but you don’t know if you have ever told your DH you both agreed to move on from it?

DH told me I was not to speak to her, I think I told him I did but I genuinely can't remember.

I know!!!

I think I did tell him but can't fully remember, I genuinely have a poor memory as it is, also baby-brain.

But this is a bit more serious of a conversation that you probably would remember. It’s not like what did you have for dinner last week, this is whether you discussed with your husband ending a family feud with his mother!

Why wouldn’t you remember discussing with him that you had made amends with his mother though?? That’s so weird. It’s not exactly a minor thing.

”Baby brain” doesn’t make you that forgetful, it makes you forget where you put your keys or if youve eaten lunch, it doesn’t misplace important conversations with your husband regarding what are presumably turbulent things. Your thread is weird.

What a strange post OP. Surely in this situation you’d just ask DH “was something wrong?”

@Waheymum if your DH was abused by this woman it would make sense that he’d do anything not to set her off. Maybe, she hasn’t quite forgotten your argument and he’d get it in the neck, so best to keep you out of the picture.

This is such an odd way of telling this story.

Why don’t you ask him?