Should I keep taking my son to rugby if he hates it?

[HungryAllTheTimeeeee]

Ive started getting my son into some hobbies. He is starting beavers next week which I think will be great for his confidence and independence which he is currently lacking.

This summer I have taught him to ride a bike and he is in weekly swimming lessons.

He has made noises about going to rugby because all his friends are. Ive taken him to 2 sessions so far and he hates it. Only joins in until they start playing tag. He cries and sulks.

This is my first and only child. What do I do? Other parents all say theirs were the same and to keep at it, but I'm not sure forcing him to go each week is fair either. I do believe he has to give something a proper chance tho. What do you think?

You have many many years ahead of you of ferrying him to and from activities (weary voice of a mum of 4). Stop, stick to the stuff he likes. If he is was a bit older I'd say give to X date but not at 6

I disagree with the others around dropping it for a few reasons

1. If he's playing age grade rugby union, they follow a curriculum so if he wants to re-join when he's older, it'll be much harder than picking up the rules from now.

2. My parents always let me and my siblings drop anything as soon as we tired of it. This meant my siblings and I never stuck with anything. It took me until my 30s to realize the joy of hobbies - it's a shame as my teens and 20s my only hobby was basically drinking. Meant I was probably a much more boring person and also not great for health.

On point 2 what I've done with my kids is said they must have one sport. It they want to drop it, they have to choose an alternative. I want to teach them to stick with it for health and social reasons and I don't want iPad (or when they are older, drinking) to be their main hobby.

I wouldn’t make him go.

Don't be that parent who forces their kids to do an activity if they don't enjoy it. That's a dick move, especially with a kid that young. You are wasting your time and you are wasting the time of the people running the activity and the other people there who have to put up with a sulky, unhappy participant.

It's good that he's tried it. If he doesn't like it, stop. Life is all about trying things and learning what you don't like doing as much as what you do enjoy.

2 sessions isn't many and plenty of kids do adapt to become a bit more hardy about things they don't like with exposure. And one of the points of introducing them to lots of things is to give them more experience, isn't it? If it's something they've pushed for I generally expect a term's attendance and reassess after that.

Personally, I wouldn't encourage rugby though. There are plenty of sports that encourage hardiness, sportsmanship, camaraderie and team work (things that rugby excels at, I think) that don't also have such a high risk of brain damage.

The kid is 6. Sulking is part of the territory.

Stop taking him, now. Most kids try, and leave, lots of hobbies. DS was the same with football, he hated it, I hated it, I hated the “soccer mums” screaming “go on our Liam”, hated standing on the sidelines in the pouring rain whilst DS was swinging around the goalpost looking the other way and picking his nose.

Weirdly, he loved rugby union and ended up representing Yorkshire in the U19s. Your little boy just needs to find his tribe and his hobby, whatever that it is, be it fishing, dance, cycling, cricket it’s fine.

He's only young. I wouldn't force him because it will put him off for good. My son played from age 11. He tried at 7 but wasn't keen so we let him give up. He then chose to go back at 11 and ended up playing till he went away to University and he loved it.

Why would you make him do something that makes him cry, he's still young, maybe Beavers is enough for now x

One sport a week. One music activity a week. Anything else added in will likely be overwhelming for a wee one aged 4 to 6.

We took DS to many (many many many) clubs and sports sessions and generally as soon as we had shelled out for a bit of kit or insurance he would quit. The only thing we made him stick at was swimming. Now as a teen he has his chosen hobbies and we support those.

It feels like a big deal when they're little but eventually they find something they want to do and it sticks. Don't stress and don't force it, if he hates something he's not going to try very hard, so won't be very good and will hate it more.

This. Beavers is plenty. Just let him make some decisions about his own free time.

He wanted to go because of his friends, but has discovered it is not for him right now. That's fair enough. He can try other things or come back to rugby later.

He doesn’t like it - he doesn’t need to do rugby

Do not ever force your kid to do a sport or hobby they clearly hate. (The only exception is swimming at the correct age, as that is an essential life skill.)

Kids eventually find the hobbies they like. Keep looking.

Do you think he’s upset because he’s not the best/doesn’t know the rule or genuinely just doesn’t enjoy it?

My DS genuinely does not enjoy art classes so I don’t make him go. He used to get frustrated by trying a new sport because he was bad at it in his eyes whereas in reality he was just learning the rules and needed to adjust.

I also don’t think beavers, rugby and swimming is too much at 6, depending what else you do. The NHS advises an hour of activity for children a day and many don’t do this.

No stop the rugby. He tried it, gave it a go but it’s not for him. Don’t bully him into going.

I'd give it a season off then try again if he still says he wants to do it.

Our 12yo had tried various things over the years, sometimes because he was interested, sometimes because we thought it would be a good idea. This summer he did a rowing course. Didn't like it and has told us to please accept that he's a nerd who doesn't like organised sport.

We've agreed he doesn't need to try anything else so long as he's active. We're sticking with our rule of doing at least one school club so that he has some experiences of other things.

Why persist with something he hates, when there are lots of other options?