Should I keep taking my son to rugby if he hates it?

[HungryAllTheTimeeeee]

Ive started getting my son into some hobbies. He is starting beavers next week which I think will be great for his confidence and independence which he is currently lacking.

This summer I have taught him to ride a bike and he is in weekly swimming lessons.

He has made noises about going to rugby because all his friends are. Ive taken him to 2 sessions so far and he hates it. Only joins in until they start playing tag. He cries and sulks.

This is my first and only child. What do I do? Other parents all say theirs were the same and to keep at it, but I'm not sure forcing him to go each week is fair either. I do believe he has to give something a proper chance tho. What do you think?

Stop. He is very young and can go back to it later, but never make someone do a sport if they don’t want to. Mine loved rugby but hated another sport he tried so we gave that up.

is he happy to go and the changes his mind when he is there?

if he is happy to go I would keep going, and encourage him to join in a little more each week, maybe try and find out what he doesn’t like about the tag bit and see if you can help him work through it.

if he is saying he doesn’t want to go at all then that is different

No. Just drop.

Two sessions isn't long - I'd give it a few more weeks but after that I wouldn't force it.

Don't force him if he dislikes it.

He doesn’t like it, so I’d stop and try something else.

He can always go back to it.

Absolutely stop. Why would you make a child do something they don’t want. He’s doing plenty of things

I would try a few more sessions. I first took ds to rugby training when he was 4 and he kind of hated it, he was extremely shy. I had to run around the pitch with him for the warm-up for the first month!

6 years later and rugby is his favourite thing in the World. Mixing with (and being complimented by) teammates, opponents, coaches, referees etc has done wonders for his confidence, eye contact, nice firm handshake, fit as a fiddle, and understands the importance of commitment, effort and consistency which also bled through into his attitude at school.

give it to half term. then try football or something else. Its not for everyone

Beavers, swimming and rugby is an awful lot to be doing at once for a four or five year old (I assume)

If he's not enjoying it stop going, he can always take it up again later. At this age its more about being happy, making friends and building confidence than anything else.

I'd give it a few sessions. I might be he needs to get used to the environment and once he gets to know the coaches, and understands how the sessions operate he will enjoy it.

Also, if they are male coaches, and he's only had female teachers that can also be an adjustment he would need to make.

I've always encourage my kids to have a "good go" at something before giving up. Sometimes they've still given up, and that's fine. Another memorable occasion she was adamant the club was AWFUL and she would never go back - and now she helps run it and loves it.

How old is he? If just starting at Beavers I am presuming 6. It will be Tag Rugby at that age and an introduction to the very basic rules of the game and how to carry the ball, the emphasis will be on fun over anything else. It is a fabulous sport which has a position for every body type and shape unlike football for example, it is very unlikely a prop forward build would find a position in football.

The rule in this house was always a full term to see if they bedded into the sport. Given it is early days I would be ignoring the crying and sulking and encouraging him to crack on and join in.

In my experience with various children of mine, 6/8 weeks in can be the point at which they want to stop, push through and sometimes it all falls into place.

How would you feel if you were forced to do something you didn't like doing ? If he is crying then he doesn't like it so stop going. Have you asked him what he would like to do ?

He is 6. Hes very sensitive so gets upset if he cabt run as fast or doesn't understand a rule

Are you trying too many clubs and new things at once?

I wouldn't give up yet, I would say at an older age 5 sessions but based on what you have said I would encourage him to go as there will be lots of experiences that are new to him and he won't understand and he won't always be able to opt out because of this or because someone else is better than him (runs faster).

Don't make him do something he doesn't want to do

We had dd finish out the football season when she tried it as a young child. She used to cheer when she got cycled off the field. She spent most of her time on the sidelines scamming people into giving her snacks by being cute.

Our family philosophy was that having a physical activity was useful, but we didn’t have to settle on one randomly. Some children enjoy team sports, but others might thrive at dance or rock climbing. Just help your child find their niche.

Drop it, but address the sulking. That is not ok.

If he doesn't want to play, how about he watches. I would always suggest rugby league as I think its a better game. We go to watch our local team most weeks, even go to a few away games when we can.

early to start rugby, and pitches will be rock hard. maybe revisit in the winter

Would he be able to tell you what it is he hates? If so, Id be going for the "sulking isnt going to make me change my mind, but giving me some reasons might"

If him doing a sport is important to you, then ask him what he'd like to try - google sports clubs for his age in your area and show him videos of those sports.

Would you want to spend your spare time being forced to do a hobby you absolutely loathed and dreaded?

Stop taking him. He doesn’t like it.

Genuinely don’t understand parents who won’t listen to their kids about completely unnecessary activities. If he’s young enough to be in Beavers, he doesn’t need to be ‘got into a hobby’. Hobbies should come naturally from their own interests (which might not happen for a few years) not from what their parents want them to be doing.

God, that’s horrible. He cries and sulks. He’s communicated enough. He shouldn’t need to give a power point presentation. It’s his mum, not his army sergeant.

The only extra curricula thing should you insist a young child participates in is swimming as it's an essential skill and they won't learn it sufficiently at school. Anything else should be things they are interested in and look forward to doing.