To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

They clearly have a good reason for it - why else would they turn down making money? It is obvious you have not owned a house that people have used for hen parties ...

Has anyone thought of the poor bride here? Whether you’re being unreasonable or not (and I think you’re all in it together and just can’t blame one person) imagine how she’ll feel when the time before her big day is hijacked by a bunch of hens arguing about what they should and shouldn’t be paying for especially when her MOH is being blamed. Therefore just put it down to one of those things and suck it up otherwise it will just cause a horrible time for the bride.

Because you would put down the ages in your group. I am assuming that if you put in 10 people of adult age that it would flag up if the owners don’t want a group like that.

She booked it. When booking she should have checked the group was allowed. I'd want the money back absolutely

What do the other 7 think about loosing £300 each (or 8 if you didn’t all pay for the bride) ?

@Hennightmare it does seem that MOH has buggered up but I don't think it's realistic for her to pay £2,700 from her own pocket

except she clearly didn't! she referred to them as being popular places for trashy style hen parties (by which I assumed she means the loud, drunk, penis straws type), which they are! (as is my non-northern city). It doesn't mean the cities themselves are trashy.

York, for example, is very popular with hen/stag parties but would usually not be described as trashy in any way!

Exactly this, thank you!

Because if the owner doesn’t want single sex groups or stag or hen groups then by you putting in the ages of you and your dc shows that you aren’t the type of the group the owner doesn’t want. I’ve always had to do it! If moh had to do it then the owner doesn’t have a leg to stand on surely? If the owner is so explicit that s/he doesn’t want party groups then what is she doing to avoid this kind of booking if not asking details of the group? And if the owner isn’t asking details of a 10 person booking to ensure they aren’t a hen party then surely the owner has to take some sort of responsibility?

It's a reasonable and not unusual rule. I can understand it if groups have caused problems previously.
I don't think the MoH should recompense everyone. It's an honest mistake. Presumably she has organised it in good faith and organising things like that is hard work. Didn't the other bridesmaid's /Hens take any responsibility for the organisation? Shouldn't the others have also checked the accommodation?

I would be pursuing a refund from the owner of the accommodation. I would also be leaving a review explaining you were refused entry and a refund. You were charged £3000 to not stay somewhere for a weekend.

I don’t use airbnb much so not sure but don’t you have to give names and dates of birth when you book for insurance etc? Surely the owner would have an idea it was a party of women if this was the case?

Yes - that’s what I have had to do. If not date of birth then at least age

does it clearly say it on Ts&Cs

This is from the OP's update:

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc.

Unimpressed as you’d imagine but not wanting to ruin the weekend for the bride to be.

One of the girls (another I don’t really know) was shut down by bride to be when she suggested MoH had tried it on and that’s why the owner greeted us and didn’t leave a key. I don’t know what the background to that is though, I’ll ask my friend when I see her tomorrow.

MoH paid for bride to be’s share of the cost.

It's pretty standard to be honest. We book big properties every year for extended family holidays and most of them say no stags/hens/same sex groups.

That doesn't follow. The last time I was in a holiday rental was in a group of 10 people consisting of 2 married couples and 6 single people, all within 2 years age of each other. We weren't a stag or hen party. There was no issue at all. The house doesn't accept stags or hen parties.

Anyway it's irrelevant - the website said no hen or stags.

I'd have some sympathy with MoH and go for solidarity and sucking it up. Although, that's not an abbreviation I'm familiar with. Is it supposed to be Mother of the Bride??

Now yes. But obviously not when theOP looked originally

We don't know that. The MoH apparently deleted/can't find the booking email.

Nobody deletes emails about holiday bookings until after the holiday

I assume matron of honour.

Well strictly speaking it s her fault, however its particularly mean spirited to go on about it. She made a mistake. And really didn't 1/10 of you ever check the place you were going to? It seems weird not one person looked at the website of where you were staying. You could say it's everyone's fault in that sense.

I think that if the T&C were on the website when she booked, MOH owes you the money, or at least some of it, but probably can't afford to pay it.
The actual rule against stag and hen groups is fair enough because they can cause bedlam. But a same sex group ban can be hard on lesbian and gay couples, and on groups of same sex friends who just want a quiet break.

Depends on when it was made prominent on the website though. OP said the owner told them there was a hen night two weeks previously and there had been damage, so hens were clearly allowed at some point. If the Ts&Cs were changed after booking then I would have thought the owner would have to refund. And OP didn’t pay £3000, she paid £300. The total cost for ten people was £3000 - £100 per night, which is about average.

Try to recover the money as a group via small claims?