AIBU to ask why parents give deliberately unusual spellings of otherwise common names?

[Ihateasthma]

Why do parents give their DC names which sound normal but differently spelt to the normal way?

Maddyline for Madeleine
Febee for Pheobe
Pheo for Theo

You have shot yourselves in the foot from day one as you get angry, roll your eyes when others spell their names the normal way. If you gave DC the normal spelling- you wouldn’t react like this

Then when the DC are older they do the same thing and say “it’s spelt ….”

I wouldn't ask, it'd be none of my business.

At least when they're old enough to go to Starbucks, their name should be spelt correctly.

In some countries even in Europe you are only allowed to select a name from an official list. At least a recognised spelling of a name would be useful here.

I don’t understand why people think this is a flex. I think it would be awful to live
somewhere were the state dictates what you can call your children. North Korea vibes

Have you acknowledged you misspelt
Phoebe in your Op @Ihateasthma ?

Many moons ago when I had a baby, another lady in our room was most out out that the registrar refused to register her baby, and insisted that she checked the spelling if the name with the baby’s father. I asked how she wanted to spell the name. “Nefan” she said. She asked me how I wouod spell it, and I said I thought her son would have an easier time at school if she spelt his name “Nathan”.

The lists are massive but traditional names. Once registered a child can be known by any name.

I sat by my child's bed in hospital and tried to work out what the girl opposite was called by reading the name above her bed. Bear in mind I was sleep derived so wasn't quick of the mark!

Chervawn.

Some of it is due to inability to spell and/ or lack of familiarity with the written name (Febee or Pheo).

A name like Aliviya is probably an attempt to be different from all the Olivias out there.

Do you spell it like that?

Well, when I was 10 I wanted my name on a plaque for my bedroom door like my friends and my sister but at the age of 58 I've got over that now - I think, as I know which bedroom in my house is mine.

Oh please. Trauma?

There is no law stating that children must be given items with their names on them. Mine managed to live their entire childhoods without a single item that bore their names.

They have very recognizable names. The fad of buying shite with a child's name on it was simply one we swerved.

Agree. My birth name was a French variant of a common English name... please note, we don't have French ancestry / connections. But then my parents attempted to anglicise the spelling of the variation. It was hideous and embarrassing.

I now go by the shortened version which is a perfectly normal name. I've actually changed it by statutory declaration, had my passport changed etc. I feel so much better for it.

My final tutor group in my old school had 5 girls with variations of 'Amelia' as their first name.

They were all lovely.

The only issue this has ever brought is when a parent has picked an unusual variation on a name and then gets offended if you don't get it precisely right when you reach out during a busy time.

I think that post was meant to be light hearted. However, a girl at the school where I worked had her name changed by Deed Poll (with her parents' blessing) so she could buy crap with her name on.

I'm trying to work out what 5 different versions of Amelia would be!

Have you had a humour bypass or is the sun or school holidays getting to you?

Honestly its worse in some other countries. My ex husband had an acquaintance from his native country who had called his son Jonlennon (as a first name, with a hispanic surname). A lot of kids in this country give children names which are a compound of the first and last name of a celebrity, and no one bats an eyelid.

TH is pronounced F in some British accents.

Pheo would definitely get a few giggles in any Spanish speaking country. Feo means ugly.

I have so many questions! Always wanted to better understand people who do this.

Did you deliberately spell it incorrectly?
Why?
Do you also pronounce it the way you've written it, i.e. Fee O Bee?
Do you know what a dipthong is?
Do people say anything negative in real life?
What does your daughter think of the spelling?

I know of Emilia and Emilja, can't think of another 2 variants!

Leaving aside the delicious fact that the OP has misspelled the name 'Phoebe' in her OP, while deriding ignorant illiterate chavs who can't even spell their own kids' names correctly, I assume that the sanctimonious posters on here are unfamiliar with the fact that very many, if not most, names have multiple accepted variations.
I have lived in England all my life but my family belong to a different ethnic group. I have a name which is pretty common in the UK but with a variant spelling which is standard in our culture. Yes, it has meant I have spent a life-time needing to clarify the correct spelling of my name, but I do not think that my parents were in any way irresponsible for opting to spell my name in the way which was normal for their culture and not anglicising it to fit in. The parochial and insular mind-set of some MN posters is most depressing. Given the pearl-clutching on hear when anyone suggests using any name more exotic than John or Jane I assume most of them don't get out of the house much! Even John and Jane have multiple possible variations, so they're not even safe there!

I silently judge all such people as being a) thick, or b) chavs, or c) both.

I don't say anything if I come across this, but I silently judge that it must be because the parents are thickoes.