Was I wrong to buy the chairs without husband?

[grapejuices]

I have 3 lovely garden chairs which were originally a set of 4 but one broke a couple of years ago.
We also had 2 other chairs which we have out but aren’t as nice and don’t recline both ends.
We are a family of 5 and everyone likes to sit on the nice chairs so it’s first come first serve and the children are miffed if they get one of the other chairs.
I saw a set of two of the nice chairs we like in the sale and bought them with some cash I had for my birthday in a card from my parents.
I thought why not have all nice chairs which match as we now have 5 and there are 5 of us.

My husband is really cross that I bought these chairs, saying we didn’t need them, we had 5 chairs, it was a waste of money and I shouldn’t have got them.

Usually we do buy things as a couple but I particularly wanted these chairs as I don’t like being on the other chairs and felt it was my birthday money and I didn’t see I should run it past him.

AIBU to think I could buy garden chairs in the sale without it leading to an argument, it was his passive aggressive approach where he didn’t outright say anything but said to my daughter I don’t know why mum bought more chairs when we didn’t need them and it was stupid etc, knowing I could hear him.
It has taken the shine of the new chairs and I wish I hadn’t bought them but I thought it would be nice and while I don’t expect us to agree on everything, it feels like his opinion is always right and mine is always wrong.

Bring back the old chairs and tell him he’s not allowed on your new ones as they are your birthday present.

Sorry. Childish but I’d be tempted…

He’s being a prick. Is he usually such an arsehole?

You can buy what you like with your own money. Don't let him sit on the new chairs.

what a dick

This is the kind of conversation/ argument that happens regularly in my house. I just say yes dear and sit on my nice chairs tbh.

I did something similar once. DH doesn't see the point in expensive champagne so my dad sent me some money for my birthday and I bought a bottle of Moet (I think) and drank it all myself. 😀

This surely can’t be the first time he’s been like this over a purchase or money in general?

They’re YOUR birthday chairs bought with YOUR birthday money. You could have spent it on vodka and Marlboro Lights if you wanted. Don’t let him sit on the new ones and tell him not to be such a controlling prat.

Have yourself a birthday drink on your new chairs and tell him he's not invited.

Tell him to think himself lucky because you were thinking of spending the money on male escorts and cocaine and decided on the chairs instead.

He's a prick.

No, of course not. They're just chairs, FFS.

I mean it was your birthday money, so in theory it's up to you how you spend it. However, if finances are super tight, and it's the difference between paying rent or not, then he might have a point. Otherwise, it's your money and a couple of poxy chairs. No need for the drama.

Your birthday money your decision.

I’ve I was feeling particularly miffed, I might put one of the nice chairs away and leave one of the old ones out especially for him as he prefers those.

My husband claims he does not want to be involved in any home furnishing decisions. I never spend much money on our home as I’m very frugal in that regard. No matter what changes I make, even if they are replacements for broken necessities, he complains.

the reality is he just doesn’t like change.

Does your husband have similar issues?

He's being a prick!
You can do what you want with your birthday money. It was kind of you to spend it on something that's nice for the family.
Tell him you had better not see him sat on the nice chairs as he thinks they are such a stupid buy.

Tell him that’s fine, he can sit on an old chair, you the kids and a guest can use the new ones, and that if you ever catch him on one of the good chairs, there will be hell to pay

and then remind him ever time. Why are you sitting on the stupid chair, sit on other old chair, remember you felt they were fine.

If your parents had asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you’d said “two lovely garden chairs, let me send you a link” and they had bought them and given them to you, he couldn’t have said you were wasting money because they were a gift. Or if your parents had noticed you only had three nice chairs and just bought two more nice ones. This is exactly the same. Your parents gave you money to buy something you wanted and would get joy from, not for the money to get lost in buying groceries or general household spending.

He's being a miserable prick. Remove his chair and enjoy garden time without him.

Unless you have an urgent debt problem or can't afford the basics and that money could have helped then yanbu. It was a present. Presents are supposed to be things we want rather than need. A treat rather than a necessity. Otherwise people would get each other basic groceries or replace a broken item for their birthday. How would like it if you allocated his birthday money for something the family needed, like a lawn mower spare part or towards rhe council tax. I'm assuming they gave you money so that you could get something you fancied. Unless your finances are really struggling, he is being mean. You could offer to return one of them if he agrees to always sit in the shitty chair, since he doesn't need a nice one

Who was sitting on the shit chair?

I’d make satisfied, gleeful noises every time I sat in one.

Maybe throw in a “I’m so happy with my new chairs” every so often, too.

My God, I’ve painted entire rooms and brought all sorts of things for the walls plus bought and built 3 chairs without consulting my DH. He couldn’t care less.

Please ensure he knows he is not allowed to sit on the new chairs.

How expensive were these fancy chairs that he thinks they were a waste of money and you think you should’ve consulted him about spending your own money? Is he usually a grumpy git?

No financial worries, he is more of the view we had 5 chairs so didn’t need any more, he’s more than happy to get a couple of beach chairs out when his parent come to visit but what he’s not more than happy to do is to sit in one himself or in one of the other chairs because he wants to sit in a comfy one so always sits in one of those and that will be the one best positioned for the sun or the parasol if he wants shade so basically he didn’t need any more chairs because he always makes sure he has a nice chair even if that means asking one of the children to budge over and let him sit there.
Having nice chairs for other people to enjoy as well is a waste of money.

Yep. He's a dick.