AIBU to refuse extra in-laws and children at our wedding?

[Stuclandconfused]

Getting married in four weeks.

Brother1’s and Sister’s kids are bridesmaids, apart from our son, they are only kids. Partner doesn’t have nieces or nephews.

My dad gave us £10,000 with no strings but asked if we could invite siblings’ in-laws so they could see grandkids in their finery.

No problem!

NOW MiL wants partner’s brother’s in-laws invited in case they think we’re homophobic. We’re not!

AND Brother2’s partner of 15 months wants her parents and her two kids invited, two kids I have met twice.

We’re saying no to both!

6 extra that we don’t know and two kids at our child free ish wedding. These kids have their own father.

Brother2 not even living with her.

I don’t get the obsession with ‘fairness’ that some people have, I see it on mumsnet a lot. You saw your mum on the day the baby was born so YABU to not see MIL until the following day. You called your baby after your grandad so YABU to not have included his paternal grandad etc etc

It is your wedding, invite who you want, if people tell you it’s not fair just tell them you’re not a judge, you don’t have to be fair and move on

I thought inviting the sibling’s in-laws was odd but you’ve explained this. However it’s now going beyond odd to very weird. What’s wrong with them all?

You need to take control and just say no, all invites have already been sent to those you’d like to invite. There’s no more invites.

I'm confused - is the first lot of people your MIL wants inviting your own partners brother in law? 😅

This, among other random distant rellies, is what i got pressured into. Tbf, bil married gf and they asked my parents too. It was the mardy arsed grand son of a distant auntie that boiled my piss.(she was looking after him over the summer and im sure he wont be any trouble. My arse)

All of our siblings and their partners, including the one who has only been around for 15 months are invited.

The in-laws of my two eldest siblings are also invited to the whole day in order to see their grandchildren, my nieces who are in the wedding.

As well as Brother2’s partner wanting her parents and kids invited my MiL now wants her eldest son’s in-laws invited.

We have said no!

I think you should invite the kids, they're basically your nieces and nephews.

But your brother in laws parents so they know you aren't homophobic doesn't make sense. Who is gay - BIL or his parents? Surely BIL and his partner are invited together thus proving a lack of homophobia, why do his parents need to witness it?

I do think your logic is weird tho. Why do they need to come to the whoek day to see their grandkids walk down an aisle in a nice frock? What's the price per head to pay for them to come just to look at the kids for 5 minutes?

Say they're welcome (the adults) if MIL/whoever pays for them. This way she can't feel your dad is being treated better, or worry you're homophobic. The kids thing, well some people won't come if tey can't bring kids, and that is their right, just as it's yours to not have kids there.

We will stand firm on DP’s BiL’s parents. We have met them once.

There is a development with my brother’s partner. She seems to have accepted we are not inviting her parents but intends leaving after the meal to go and get her kids for the evening. She said to my dad that I wouldn’t dare say anything.

Well I would and did. I told my brother that we weee not having additional guests in the evening and certainly no extra kids.

I haven’t heard the outcome yet.

I have met one of them twice and once three times in passing.

She seemed incredibly nice up until now.

Oh her kids are grown up?
That's different, then.

But i agree it doesnt seem right for sibling partners to be invited on one side but not the other.

No brother and her have separate houses. Her kids are still kids.

They always have tbf. It is just that now with so much sharing on social media more people find out about it.