AIBU to ask what controlling behaviour once seemed normal?

[Jane143]

Abusive/ weird stuff we thought was almost normal at the time? I’ll start with something I mentioned on a previous thread so as not to derail that one.
my ex used to make me have another shower if I farted at anytime during the evening before we had sex. Also HAD to wear stockings etc. was this normal? Seemed so at the time and I did it all to make him be nice to me.

Dh was asked that in the mid 00’s.

”can’t your wife do it”.

male dominated industry. Proud to say he stuck to it and now the office is roughly 30% women, and flexing round family demands is now normal and no one questions it.

@Priyanka12 "And "the village" - which was natural 50 years ago - is now dead. "

I keep reading on Mumsnet about this mythical village that existed "back in the day". I'm nearly 70 and had my son 50 years ago. Grandparents are way more involved these days than they were then. You were considered quite fortunate if one set offered to babysit twice a year in my day, although they'd usually step up in a dire emergency. Grandparents live longer, are healthier, more active and have more disposable income than the grandparents of my day and very often do regular childcare. That was almost unheard of unless the mother was very ill or dead. Once you got married back then and had your own family, you were very much expected to get on with it. Neighbours might help very occasionally but it had to be for a pretty good reason and even so, you'd be the subject of negative gossip if you asked too often.

With respect, I'm not sure that was common. I'm a similar age to to your son and my mums mum (nanna) was very much involved in childcare to me and my siblings inc. school pick ups, cooking tea etc etc. My friends were similar if GPs were around.

Mind you, my dad's parents were the opposite as you described but they also didn't live within walking distance.

Things have changed a lot from my mum's day to mine and even more now. Most of my mum's friends didn't drive, it was a man's job. It was only when they were a lot older that some women started driving. We knew a family where the husband didn't drive but the wife did and everyone thought they were weird!
I am 65 and when I started my first job after university, there was a male lab assistant and several female ones. He earned more than the women, despite some being older than him and having more experience. It was because the powers that be decided that a lab assistants pay wasn't enough to support a family so he needed more than the women, who were just working for pin money. At the time this was accepted practice but I remember thinking how utterly unfair it was.
Recently I was introduced by a mutual friend to a young lady from another culture. She was starting an online degree and she had to get permission from her husband and his family to study and to use the Internet. She thought it was normal.

In my first job in 1972. A work colleague was getting married. She also resigned, as when she was married she would be looking after the home. She lived in a one bed, rented flat. She would have only been in her early 20s, but for her, her working life was over.