AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my neighbour's comments during renovations?

[Lew96]

New neighbour doing renovations, knocked on my door earlier to apologise for noise which is fine honestly dont mind it, not too noisey tbh. But then he started telling me how rock hard he is and if i ever need him to feel safe to give him a text and he'd be straight around... he previously gave me his number to make sure there was no one being weird around his property when he wasnt there as hes not currently living in the property, but he made me feel abit uncomfortable as he started saying no strings attatched and stuff after saying he'll keep me safe.... I don't know if its just me feeling uncomfortable or if that its normal to say no strings attatched about stuff.. so the question is AIBU to feel uncomfortable? Is he just being genuine... i think it makes me feel uncomfortable as he knows i have a partner who lives with me and he will avoid him like the plague, but when im out he will be straight out wanting to speak about all his money and cars and stuff...

Mmm. Keep a record of it.

A new neighbour who says he has moved into somewhere rough. Doesn’t make much sense. Extending so he owns it.

Not the usual way a man would talk. And certainly his choice of words have a double meaning.

I would assume he realises it.

Do keep a note of it. And any further conversations.

I would also put up a camera. To observe how frequently he knocks at your door.

" ok mate". Then close the door, or leave or get in your car etc.

I think a video door bell is a good idea, id rather not answer the door to him.

Practice some ways to end conversations with him, perhaps role play with a friend or your DP. "Got to go. I can hear my phone/left something on the cooker/in a rush." Try not to apologise, stand up straight and square your shoulders. He may just be awkward and overly friendly but he sounds like a real creep who is perfectly aware what he's saying.

Thank you all for your advice i think im going to practice some waya to end the coversation, i just find it hard im such a soft person i struggle to say no or upset people

Sounds like a complete twat who wants to be a tough guy but comes across as being pathetic little man. It speaks volumes that he doesn't engage with you when your p is around, not quite the tough guy he likes to think he is obviously.
Def get a ring door bell and if I was you start keeping a diary of incidents and the type of convos just in case you need evidence in the future.
Don't speak more than you have to, ignore the smut, look blank don't laugh or smile. If you do smile it is only encoraging him. He'll probably get bored if he realises you aren't a pushover. If you do get worried, call non emergency police for advice.

He sounds like an absolute dick. Sorry you have been made to feel like this OP. You should never have to feel uncomfortable in your own home. Make sure you watch his fingers in the door next time he calls though, you wouldn't want to embarrass him now would you 😉 🤣

I dont think hes a tough guy to be honest, he doesn't look tough in the slightest i know looks can be decieving but i wouldn't look at him and think he could fight, yeah he doesn't say a word when im with my partner. Thats what started making me think his interactions were abit weird, but yeah i will keep a diary, i wouldnt of thought of these things cause at the time i just panic and try and get away

Haha @mommatoone i like that, honestly im just going to order a door bell, get that set uo and ignore when its him, if i do happen to bump into him when waiting with the kids im going to try and limit contact with him.usually i quicklh get my son back in an close my door a little till i know hes went in

I tried pretending i didnt see him once and was playing on my phone i was staring at it for atleast 5 mins pretending not to knoq anyone was there looked up and he was standing staring

either he fancies you or he’s that dude that no one pays attention to so shows off to women, or he thinks you fancy him . Either ways he’s a socially inept loser, who wants you to think he’s a great guy, you’re jjust going to have to either ignore the door, or answer and say sorry just in the middle of a call, can you be quick?

WTAF! Avoid like the plague.

Oh god i hope he doesn't think i fancy him i really dont think ive gave that vibe i try my hardest to get away, im not interested in anyone else but my partner. I think maybe hes trying to show off but im really not that type of person i dont care how much or little money / cars people have! Id rather be happy and skint than be with someone just because theyve got money, he's deffo barking up the wrong tree 100% not interested hes probably old enough to be my dad deffo late 40s early 50s!

Yikes - I’m not surprised he’s made you feel uncomfortable.
So weird I’d seriously consider moving house!!

He’s a weirdo!

Ah id hate to move weve lived in this house nearly 11 years both my jids have been here since babies im currently 14 weeks pregnant and my 2 current have asd i think it would really disrupt/ upset them as there so used to this house, also it would mess with there schools as they both get transport for sen schools they go to different schools

Next time you are with your partner and you see him I would insist on introducing him. If you do, then warn your partner before hand and ask him to shake hands and say hi.

If that doesn't back him off you are going to have to start ignoring him to the point of being rude to him.

In my experience people do not use terms like "rock hard" or "no strings attached" in normal conversation. We all know what those terms mean even if jokingly they are used for something else.

I mean in my experience blokes do not term themselves "rock hard" unless they are talking about their sexual prowess. If you are tough and hard you would just say you were "hard".

Which would still be a bit naff for a grown man to say in casual conversation.

Yeah i thought it was abit strange in all fairness, when he was talking like that i was just thinking WTF i was like yeah well ive got a partner so dont need any help an thanked him probably shouldnt have thanked him thinking back

Do you have a nice tall back garden fence op? If you don't, I'd get one pronto before he moves in!

He sounds tedious, creepy and boundary less.

Can you maybe change the kids morning routine waiting for their sen transport to indoor, looking out the window? We have things like spinners, liquid timers, etc on our windowsills for my eldest to stim with while he waits. Would probably be easier when it gets colder too if you've a baby on the way, to change it now so you're not stood out with the baby too in all weathers waiting. Bonus being you wouldn't be a captive audience either.

If he does it again look at him blankly.

Say, 'What would I need protecting from?' in a bewildered voice. And then whatever he suggests in response look confused and say, 'Ok. I've got a partner though, should I ever need protection from anything, so I'm pretty sure I'll be ok'.

Yes i have a nice tall back wall with a fence intop! So plenty of privacy in the back! I think ill try to encourage the kids to being in while waiting, my youngest gladly waits inside its the oldest he runs back and forward stimming

Rock hard as in erect or as in thuggish?

I think he meant tough? Dont think thuggish, i dont know really hes strange

Don’t answer the door to him, ever. If he persists, go upstairs, open the window and shout down telling him you’re busy on a phone call. Repeat every time he calls.

if you do see him out and about, be very brusk with him and end the convo ASAP.