How do you feel about being whistled at on the street?

[TheBolans]

Do you find it a compliment or a form of harassment?

I saw a discussion with a woman saying people need to get a grip if it bothers them because whistling is harmless. I think if I got the odd whistle every now again at this age, I wouldn’t mind, but back when I was a teenager/early 20s I didn’t like it. It was usually never just whistling. It’s usually shouting crude comments too and so found it degrading and embarrassing. But some seem to think it should be taken as a compliment

Yes it’s funny how it’s always a group of dirty construction workers or white van men that do it. You don’t see nice sophisticated men whistling and shouting at women on the streets

Men will have sex with anything.

Being whistled at is not a compliment.

Sad

It was intimidating and mortifying when I was younger.

I don’t give a fuck now.

It is sexual harassment.

Last time I was whistled at was several decades ago (Now in late 70s) when I was driving past a factory and one of the workers outside whistled at me. I waved back. He was an old friend of my husband's. Nice bloke.

Violating and intimidating. Especially since it first starts happening when you are a teen, often in school uniform, from older groups of men - it's completely vile. One of the joys of getting older is it happens less often and I no longer always have to dread walking past groups of men. But I hate it for my teen daughters.

It used to happen to me when I was younger.

Never thought anything of it.

Never felt I was being 'harassed'.

Neither liked or disliked it.

It didn't embarrass me.

I didn't look at the person/s who had whistled, so no idea whether I would have fancied him/them.

Go no validation from it because I didn't care if people I didn't know found me attractive.

Definitely did not have any 'self esteem issues'.

Just continued walking on my way.

Never have I read or heard so much about it than all these years later on Mumsnet, and I thought it wasn't allowed anymore, anyway.

End of.

Total non event.

Don't tell other people how they should feel about it; some feel nothing!

I didn't mind when I was younger was kind of flattered by it. Now if it was to happen which it doesn't but if it did I would think they were being sarcastic/taking the piss.

The whistling wasn’t even the worst of it. The catcalling was worse, thing like ‘Phoarr, look at the tits on that’, and ‘Show us your arse’, was embarrassing and humiliating, which is of course exactly what it’s supposed to be.

I used to get it a lot when I was younger, but found it flattering as I had terrible boundaries thanks to trauma. Now, however, I would hate it.

I don't live in a city anymore, and while I don't get whistles there is a surprising amount of leering (mostly from much older men) that others have noticed - and I'm pretty much only ever in jeans and a non-revealing top without make-up! I don't care about looks so much as they're not intrusive in the same way, but it's still gross.

Is this a joke? The memorable man who groped my bum and tried to cup my crotch at the age of 15, at a busy pedestrian crossing in the city, was a well-off looking professional in his forties. Street harassment can come from all sorts of men.

There’s always a type that whistles or shouts ‘compliments’ out the window. It’s never decent, non sexist men. It’s the type that see women as fair game and have no issue embarrassing them and making them feel sexualised whilst going about their day. Being flattered by getting attention from these types of men is truly bizarre.

It happened to me most when I was 11-18 years old. And it was never just a whistle, there were usually crude comments attached.

It happens rarely now I'm in my early 30's but I still don't like it, I just want to be left alone.

Sleazy, degrading.

I’ve enjoyed reporting these Neanderthals to both their employer and the entity that has engaged their employer in the past (e.g. when the workers were working on a bank branch I complained to both their company and the bank). We need to keep pushing back and these perverts might finally get the message.

My issue with it is that I dont think its appropriate to essentially shout at strangers how sexually attractive you find them. I dont want to know if I turn you on. I definitely didnt when I was a teenager in school uniform, which is when I got the most attention.

See also ‘cheer up love’.

I got it quite a bit when younger. I didn’t mind and sometimes found it flattering. Now I think it’s wrong and pervy, but I’ve matured. Rarely get it now thank god! I did have a guy grab my arm about 1-2 years ago on an early evening, on the pavement trying to chat me up, I was just walking along the street by myself, he was with mates. I was angry at that. How dare he?

I don’t think I’ve been whistled at on the street since I was in high school. In school uniform.

Hear hear

Omg that is horrifying and disgusting! No sorry I was just talking about the stereotypical shouting in the street and whistling etc. that’s usually seen from construction workers, not saying men that seem well off and professional can’t and don’t harass women

I don’t like it but I also don’t dislike it. I guess it does not bother me massively. Men insisting on talking to me after I make clear I don’t want to talk to them is more annoying.

However that’s me as an adult. I recall being wolf whistled at by adult men as a schoolgirl and always found that disturbing.

I don’t see an issue with women who find it to be harassment. I think the women who think those women “need to get a grip” are male identified and a little pathetic.

I am faaaaaaar more annoyed at men who tell me to smile. Why is my face their business?!

It was certainly a shock! I wish to this day I'd confronted him, but instead I just scuttled away like a frightened mouse.

And fair enough - I suppose perhaps professionals are more likely to be 'discreet' or sneaky, and workmen loud and blatant about it?

I’m surprised at that, most major building companies have cracked down on this sort of thing and have done for a while.

These days it makes me feel they've confused me with someone 20 years younger! 😆

I never minded whistles or non-crude comments when I was younger but they didn't happen often enough for it to feel bothersome - I'm not conventionally attractive and had short cropped hair in my teens & 20s so most blokes didn't give me a second glance and thank God for that. I'm sure it could feel harrasing and threatening if you get it all the time, though.