AIBU? Asked to donate money to a friend of a friend

[Buttheywereonlysatellites51]

I’ve had a message from someone I’d call an acquaintance really, not really a friend, that has me feeling uncomfortable.

They have friends in Columbia who lost their house during the recent earthquake. They are asking for people to donate money to their bank account and they will pass on this money to their friends in Columbia to help them start over.

Now I’m not against donating to good causes and once a year, I choose a charity or two that I want to donate to. I am just feeling uncomfortable as the request has come directly from someone I know and I feel like I’d look like an uncaring person if I say no. If these were friends of mine, I would obviously want to help them. But I can’t imagine I asking my friends to help out people they don’t know. AIBU?

When it's not an official established charitable organisation, with all of their activities and finances documented and accounted for, anybody could just ask everybody they have any vague connection with for 'money for poor or disadvantaged people'.

I could stand in my local high street with a home-made sign and I'd likely get people giving me money, without any knowledge of where it would end up.

This can be a scam. It’s happened to a friend before - message from an acquaintance totally believable, IGNORE.

My response is always that I donate directly to charities that I want to support as that is the tax efficient way of donating so that they can reclaim the tax on donations.

I would never give money to an individual to pass on to another individual - it has the potential for so much to go wrong.

Respond ....

Thanks for your message and so sorry to hear about your friends.
We have recently donated to a number of charities including earthquake relief.
Best of luck with your fundraising.

It's such an obvious scam. I'd delete without a second thought.

I see you've updated to say you don't actually know the friend that well. On that basis I would just ignore the message. If they follow up, tell them that you prefer to make your donations via registered charities.

This!

The fact they want you to transfer money into their own bank account is highly suspicious. Please do not do this!

People have given you some great suggestions in terms of replies.

Good luck!

many people (who tbf, are often not British) like to help out others financially in times of need and i think that is hugely overlooked in these “cheeky fucker get away from my money” conversations.

I really don’t think it’s deep - just ignore it and don’t put yourself at the centre of the request. Own your attitude, which is unequivocally, no.

btw I don’t give to charity at all so I’m not criticising but this “I do help charity with my £50 a year but the personal request is so suspicious” trope is just overthinking.

That’s clearly a useless response for Columbia 😂

Ignore
its probably a scam, even if their friends are in need how do you know if and when that money would get to them

Thanks for all your responses, I feel much better knowing that it’s not only me who thinks this is a weird request. I will ignore for now and I have a number of good responses to give, thanks to you all, if this person follows up on their request.

I'd just ignore the message. I don't like donating to private fundraisers, because you hear so many stories of people keeping the money to themselves. Even some registered charities can't be trusted, because they spend unnecessarily huge amounts of donations on administration.

It's nice that you want to donate, but I'd do so through a charity I trust. If you really feel like responding to your friend's message, I'd just say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry to hear your friends in Colombia have been affected. I have actually just donated to a charity for the cause, but I hope your friends will get the help they need".

Could they have been hacked?

Definitely just ignore. Could easily have been overlooked, marked as spam, etc. I'd really resent an acquaintance personally targeting me with a sob story request for money for someone I don't even know.

Are all of our UK problems sorted that you rush to donate to Columbia? Or, like it is the mode in the UK today, you would prioritise anything foreign first?

Agreed. Fundraising page would be more legit. Also scammers can hack face book messages and pretend to be anyone to their friends and family.

Zackly.
Say a disaster on that scale always results quickly in legitimate centralised appeals, intended to ensure funds are wisely directed (false hope sometimes, but still) Sending dosh to individuals unknown to you is not your way. Toodlepip.

This.

I would respond.

Sorry to hear about your friends, I've already donated what I'm able to, to DMC (Disasters Emergency Committee).

They aren't all that unreasonable to ask - I've had similar requests via social media or Facebook from casual acquaintances. I understand they want to help the people they know who are experiencing a natural disaster, and think others might also want to help.

However, 90% of people will just ignore it, and quite rightly. There are recognised channels through which most people can make donations as they see fit without it being at risk of a scam.

Why would you say that though? dMC aren’t going to help the people asking with their house. It sounds like a made up excuse. Just own that you don’t want to do it

OK, probably would say not able to donate further to individuals because I have already donated to DEC to assist most needy.

I seem to have a standing order to DEC.

Just ignore. Maybe you never saw it?

Sending money there would be an absolute nightmare. I wouldn’t get involved with this.

This
who people support charity-wise is a personal decision isn’t it?
Hopefully ignoring them will make them leave you alone.