"This could be outing"

[TalkToTheHand123]

Is it me or are people not seriously paranoid? There are millions of people in the country so people getting jittery believing they could be outed over personal statements seems a bit daft.

If I drew a diagram of my street people would absolutely be able to identify me.

I think that jigsaw identification is possible, if you patch together all the different bits of information that are posted over time about age, locality (for example relating to whether), marital status, children, type of work, partner, and, yes, hobbies, age of parents, siblings.

So yes I think caution is sensible, although it is a bit ridiculous in some cases.

Haha it happens - years ago my partners ex posted loads of stuff about me and it was outing. He was able to use it in court as she had openly said she wanted to stop him.seeing his kids to punish him (jealous about us having a ds together). So I think people are right to be cautious - although I cant help thing just dont post in that event!

What kind of street would be like no other? You wouldn't need it to be perfectly accurate. You could just make minor changes or add very small untruths if need be.

I think people are right to be cautious. They shouldn't post anything they feel uncomfortable about.

I think I’ve spotted my NDN on here. It was just a few things she mentioned in a couple of posts. But, i dunno.

I recognised my sister once, but can't remember her username, nor did I bother to see what else she had posted, if I a) knew how to do it and b) didn’t have a life outside MN.

I've seen several posters who could be me but they're not.

Although I think I recognised someone on here, there is no way of checking without asking the person involved.

I do wonder if some of the people are incorrectly identifying people. We don’t know which bits a poster has embellished or changed and yes there are some very specific threads but there are an awful lot that are reasonably generic and probably could enable multiple recognitions with different outcomes

I've never had a real life conversation involving Mumsnet so if you know me you'll think I don't post.

How are you so sure about everyone you know? That really doesn't sound like something anyone could possibly know

I've seen so many posters say "I've recognised people and it's so funny what they've changed"... well how do you know it's them, then??

I know my sister and niece are on here and I’ve posted some fairly personal stuff they could probably recognise, not about them. I name change fairly regularly! They are also both smart enough to search around and compare posts too.

I’ve spotted two people I know on here. One is a close friend and we were having babies at the same time. Her tone/written style is quite distinctive! I never mentioned it because I didn’t want to embarrass her.

The second was my SIL. She posted some specific details about her life/our family which could have only been her. She then went to post some VERY personal stuff - things about her health/life choices she’d never want me to know. Again, I haven’t mentioned it to her or anyone else, but it’s quite weird I recognised her.

My ex husbands affair partner found me on here and used the PM facility to bully me when my marriage collapsed.

A previous poster mentioned about putting a mumsnet username into ChatGPT and it came back with loads of stuff. I just put one of my old names in and so much came up including their view on my personality, was very interesting !!

I’ve just asked ChatGPT if two of my old user names and a third random user name were likely the same person. It’s compared all three including odd bits of information shared and the writing styles etc and has correctly suggested that two of my names are likely the same person and but the third is quite unlikely. Was also quite scary how much info it pulled from my two user names about my family, work history, life path etc. Someone who knew me could definitely work out that was me and I change user name regularly so I can post fairly freely. I know I’ve been identified by a friend on here before.

Interesting thread! Is there a reason why we can’t delete all out posts, if we wanted to? Or is there actually a way to do that?

I always find it a bit irritating when people say they have a ‘hobby that is outing’ and then I get derailed wondering if it’s naked paint balling or extreme Himalayan ironing.

But in general, I think it is possible to recognised because MN does post popular threads on its social media pages and if a person has given a lot of personal detail, it’s defo possible.

I’m a frequent name changer but also, I just don’t post a lot of personal detail. I have a complicated family and it’s possible some of them could be on here - it’s just smarter that no one makes the connection.

Sometimes it is very important to avoid being identified and people worry for good reason. A diagram of your street plus the fact that you are allergic to cigarette smoke could identify you to anyone who knows you well. Or you quote a neighbour's unusual catch phrase in your thread.

You can ask the mods to delete a thread and they sometimes agree, but they are not obliged to. You have already consented to them keeping your posts forever.

I’m sure there’s thousands of streets that look similar to my street, but there wouldn’t be thousands of similar looking streets where the person in house A is also having a parking dispute with the neighbour in house B.

Plus, if they haven’t name changed for the thread with the diagram, there’s the whole advanced search thing. People share all sorts of personal information over multiple threads. The town they live in, the number and ages of their DC, their jobs, their ages, health conditions, DP’s jobs, pets, even DC’s names on baby name threads, and so on and so on.

Yes but Shirly just adding one little porkie, like mentioning you own a cat when you don't would be enough to prevent any outing?

If you are using the phrase "I don't want to say X because it may be outing, you should be weary and wise enough to change a fact or two to prevent it?

This is what I do. I like to mix in some innocuous red herrings here and there, just in case someone I know starts thinking they recognise me 😂

Then surely someone will do a search on your posts and tell you you’re lying because e.g. two years ago you said you had twin boys and your husband works in finance but now you’re telling us that you’ve never married and have three daughters

I've been recognised on here before. I am now more careful about what I post and name change regularly.