It’s a horrible time @Misse22 . Don’t fight it, just try to accept it. From my experience which was very similar, is that the more you give your mum, the more she will expect.
Her grief is profound and palpable. But, here’s the key thing, it is HER grief. She’s going to be in denial, understandably, she spent the majority of her life with your dad. If she’s anything like my mum, she will want someone (you) to take all decisions, however small, away from her. She needs to be able to accept her grief, my mother never really went through the full grieving process, she lashed out, at me. Fighting me over silly, trivial things meant that she felt control. I just felt useless and incapable.
You have lost a beloved dad. Your grief is different, but devastating. My mother never really acknowledged my grief,because in her eyes, hers was greater. This isn’t top trumps though. It’s not a competition. I gave my mother a lot of leeway for the first few months. I thought she’d improve with me around all my available time. I was teaching at the time, my Head was empathetic and gave me a lot of compassionate leave. She was wonderful. My mother insisted, eight weeks since we lost him that I return to work. I thought that we might be near her accepting our loss. Instead she called me numerous times at work. The pharmacist had sent the wrong prescription (they didn’t). I needed to go round because she couldn’t work out the thermostat (she could). She decided that she could no longer cook, do her own washing, peg out or iron. So I spent time doing it all. I shouldn’t have.
So again, don’t be me. I’m having therapy for delayed grief. It was five years ago I lost my dad. Mum passed over two years ago. I made so many mistakes.
look after yourself x