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Original poster

DS lied to me about his A level results (and they're not good)

70 replies

willowfern · 14/08/2026 11:56

My dd is 18 and he got his A level results yesterday and told me he got 2 A’s and an A* but he didn't

He didn't show me the actual paper but I believed him, he was out much of the day with his friends then came home late last night so I hardly saw him and he's currently out now

His brother went into his room not long ago to get his aftershave back and found the paper and he got a D U E

I've never put pressure on him to get good grades as long as he tried his best though I don't think he did. I think he lied because his brother is less than a year older and sat A levels last year and got an A and 2 A*

I've told eldest to leave him alone, not to message him or anything and ill talk to him on his own but what do I say?

I'm glad he's out so I can think as I can't lie I am disappointed and he's likely missed his uni place and I know he could've tried harder and done better. He was predicted A* B and an A.

Please don't flame me. I know results aren't the be all and end all...

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 14/08/2026 12:15

I am amazed that school didnt have any parent's eve where they communicated how on track he was. If he was on track prior to exams then something has gone badly wrong. I agree with PP the trick now is not to be angry nit to sit down and understand how he is and why he has ended up here

MandemChickenShop · 14/08/2026 12:17

this doesn't sound right. have you seen the results or is his bro having a larf

BrassOlive · 14/08/2026 12:18

I'd actually be pretty worried about this from a safeguarding point of view. What is going on for him that his results went so badly wrong, and he didn't feel able to tell his family.

SixthSense600 · 14/08/2026 12:18

What did he get in his AS levels last year? As if he was still predicted high grades from them, it sounds like he either hasn’t completed the coursework required, or he didn’t write anything in the exams.

Trumptontown · 14/08/2026 12:21

MultiBead · 14/08/2026 12:14

Lol at his brother just happening to accidentally read his results while getting aftershave.

You really believe they weren't even folded - just sitting there in full view? 🤣

I wouldn't say anything at all to him, he'll tell you in his own time if he wants to.

Meanwhile, you need a long chat about privacy and snooping with your other DS.

I agree - his brother shouldn’t have been snooping.

Let’s hope he isn’t lying to his friends too about his results, as that will be harder to undo.

Cyclebabble · 14/08/2026 12:24

In 2019 my son did not get the results he wanted at A level. For some months before I had being discussing with him that he was not working anywhere near hard enough to achieve good grades and that his results were at risk. He was not really very responsive at all.

When he got the results he was very disappointed. We said we were there for him and over the weekend we started to discuss what to do next. He said he wanted to re-sit, which we supported. We also paid for tutors. He also agreed to get a part time job and to to focus on studies which he did. It took a year, but he did get the results he wanted and he got into his chosen Uni. The memory of the little jig he did when the results arrived will love long in my memory.

Now he is working and does so incredibly hard. It is me that is telling him to slow down a bit.

So advice from me. Firstly, it is not the end of the world. Failure is a life lesson, a hard one, but one that comes to us all at some point. Do not say I told you so, he will be beating himself up enough as it is. The key point is to support, ask him what he wants and make sure you do everything you can to help him in what he now wants to do.

BobbysDazzler · 14/08/2026 12:24

PJsandbiscuits · 14/08/2026 12:03

When you speak to him, don’t focus on the results (at first). I’d ask why he felt he couldn’t tell you the truth. There might be other things he hasn’t been able to share with you.

When he is ready, ask him what he feels are the next steps for him with regards to his results. He is an adult, or close to it, and at this age, our role as parents is to support and guide but not swoop in and control the situation.

I assume you love him no matter what results he got? Let him know this. And then you can figure the way from here with him.

This 👆

This is the most measured response. You'll also need to find out if he's lied to everyone else about it as you will likely find one of the hardest bits for him to deal with is telling them all the truth if so.

Has his friend group changed since his predicted grades?

Good luck OP 🍀❤️

Edited to add.... My son didn't get his predicted grades at a level but that was due to covid and their results were based on their mocks, during which he was ill so didn't give it his best. He took a year out, went back to college and is now doing incredibly well for himself and I'm very proud.

AnnesPuffedSleeves · 14/08/2026 12:24

AmIReallyTheGrownup · 14/08/2026 12:01

Surely you must have noticed the difference in effort that goes in to a A* A A result and a DUE result? What were you doing during his A-levels if you didn’t notice he clearly had decided not to, or was unable to, study?

Edited

FFS this is so out of order. It’s not the OP’s fault. He may have given the impression of working hard. Either way, your comment isn’t helpful now.

OP just talk to him gently. He won’t be think of straight as he’ll know deep down that you’ll find out. I work at a university and options will be open to him if he wants them but there is a time factor here. Having said that, a year out and some work experience may also be useful. It’s never the end of the world but he will need help understanding that.

maudelovesharold · 14/08/2026 12:26

SixthSense600 · 14/08/2026 12:18

What did he get in his AS levels last year? As if he was still predicted high grades from them, it sounds like he either hasn’t completed the coursework required, or he didn’t write anything in the exams.

Do they still do AS levels one year in to an A level course?

BreatheAndFocus · 14/08/2026 12:26

First, I’d check his brother is right about his results. See if you can find the results yourself.

Then gently ask your DS why he lied to you. It’s a pretty weird thing to do because clearly he’d be found out when he lost his uni place. Could it be that he himself is struggling to deal with the results so blocking them out for now? Is he embarrassed in front of his friends? If true, why did he do so badly?

I’d be worried about him far more than the results.

pinkspeakers · 14/08/2026 12:26

I don't think I've ever come across such a big difference between predicted and achieved grades. First question is obviously, are you sure this is correct? Second, are you aware of anything going on in his life that could have caused this? Have you noticed changes in his behaviour or mood or the people he is spending time?

You are going to have to offer him lots of support. I wouldn't rush into any plans, he will need time to get his head around his position. Encourage him to talk to the school for advice - they will know better than most parents what his options are. And find out whether re-marks are likely to be useful.

pinkspeakers · 14/08/2026 12:28

BreatheAndFocus · 14/08/2026 12:26

First, I’d check his brother is right about his results. See if you can find the results yourself.

Then gently ask your DS why he lied to you. It’s a pretty weird thing to do because clearly he’d be found out when he lost his uni place. Could it be that he himself is struggling to deal with the results so blocking them out for now? Is he embarrassed in front of his friends? If true, why did he do so badly?

I’d be worried about him far more than the results.

I agree with almost all your repsponse. But to be honest I it easy to see why he lied. It is a pretty understandable response to such a failure relative to expectations, though ultimately a futile one.

redskyAtNigh · 14/08/2026 12:28

Mum2Fergus · 14/08/2026 12:13

I’d not care about the results in all honesty…DS feeling the need to lie to you about them is the issue.

Yes, it suggests that he doesn't think he would be supported if he got lower grades. It's telling that you are disappointed about his results but not that he couldn't come and speak to you. I suspect he's been buckling under the weight of family expectations and being compared to his very academic older sibling (who just "happens" to see his results and mention them to you ...).

The first thing is not to worry about future plan but to start building some trust.

maudelovesharold · 14/08/2026 12:31

Seeline · 14/08/2026 12:07

Degree Apprenticeships are super competitive. You often need higher grades than equivalent uni courses. You're not going to get one with those results.

A different level of Apprenticeship might be an option.

Show quote history

Or perhaps retakes with a Degree Apprenticeship in mind? If he can get motivated, it sounds like he has the potential to do well (predicted A*, A and B)? Maybe he would do better in a more structured environment atm, than floundering on his own at university. Could he be worried about going?

HumberSquid · 14/08/2026 12:36

BrassOlive · 14/08/2026 12:18

I'd actually be pretty worried about this from a safeguarding point of view. What is going on for him that his results went so badly wrong, and he didn't feel able to tell his family.

Safeguarding?

One possibility is that he didn't put the work in, but lied about that because it was easier than working, so the exams went badly and he lied about that because it was easier than telling the truth and now he's got poor results and is lying about that because its easier than coming clean about all the lying and making some hard decisions.

Lots of people lie not because of safeguarding concerns but because the truth would put them in the position of having to do something they dont want to do. Like working. Or taking responsibility for themselves.

Tacotuesdayfan · 14/08/2026 12:53

Not at this stage yet (my DS is only 1!) but my experience of A levels was similar. Predicted Bs, got C(c) (a 9 unit A level so got more ucas points haha) C, D. I didn’t try nearly as hard as I should have - I was more interested in my social life at the time.
I went onto work and moved into a flat with my then-boyfriend, had a lovely few years and then it hit me my options were limited career wise. At 27 I went to university, and they accepted my A levels (I worried I’d have to do an access course!) and I came out with a first in the end.

If he was predicted higher grades I would say this is indicative of academic ability, so he will have the aptitude in life generally to pursue careers or try university maybe in a little while? I loved learning at school, but I did not appreciate what doors it would open until I was older and mentally ready to apply myself.

As other posters have said - listening and support are your key objectives in this situation! I think it will come out all well in the end, even if it’s a bit later in life than anticipated ❤️

MidnightFridgeRaider · 14/08/2026 12:57

Maybe he wanted someone to find the results as hadn't physically shared with you guys, sounds like he is also disappointed so just need to have an open conversation and reassure him that you will always have his back no matter what life throws at him... Good luck!

GasPanic · 14/08/2026 13:01

Tacotuesdayfan · 14/08/2026 12:53

Not at this stage yet (my DS is only 1!) but my experience of A levels was similar. Predicted Bs, got C(c) (a 9 unit A level so got more ucas points haha) C, D. I didn’t try nearly as hard as I should have - I was more interested in my social life at the time.
I went onto work and moved into a flat with my then-boyfriend, had a lovely few years and then it hit me my options were limited career wise. At 27 I went to university, and they accepted my A levels (I worried I’d have to do an access course!) and I came out with a first in the end.

If he was predicted higher grades I would say this is indicative of academic ability, so he will have the aptitude in life generally to pursue careers or try university maybe in a little while? I loved learning at school, but I did not appreciate what doors it would open until I was older and mentally ready to apply myself.

As other posters have said - listening and support are your key objectives in this situation! I think it will come out all well in the end, even if it’s a bit later in life than anticipated ❤️

There's a bit of a difference though between missing by one or two grades and going down from an A* to a D. If it happens on one paper it can be argued it's a bad day (athough it would have to be a very bad day because often the final mark is spread around with coursework, other exams etc).

If all 3 subjects miss predicted by 4 grades then there is something up.

Unless he was lying about his predicted grades as well.

Netcurtainnelly · 14/08/2026 13:04

How you going to explain brother going into his room?

frontdoory · 14/08/2026 13:05

Agree with others the A*, A, and B to D U E are a monumental fall from grace in a short time frame. Has DS been hanging around in a different friendship group or had relationship that he's distracted him?

I feel studying ror exams is infitely harder than when I sat exams 25 years ago. Back then we had 5 channels, no online gaming and used our phones for the odd text or game of snake. No idea how I'd cope nowadays as a young person with the wealth of distractions there are.

Tacotuesdayfan · 14/08/2026 13:25

GasPanic · 14/08/2026 13:01

There's a bit of a difference though between missing by one or two grades and going down from an A* to a D. If it happens on one paper it can be argued it's a bad day (athough it would have to be a very bad day because often the final mark is spread around with coursework, other exams etc).

If all 3 subjects miss predicted by 4 grades then there is something up.

Unless he was lying about his predicted grades as well.

Show quote history

Fair point re the significant drop 🫶

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/08/2026 13:30

Namenamchange · 14/08/2026 12:01

If he got a DUE he’s probably not right for uni.
it’s sad he felt he had to lie to keep up with his brother.
All you can do is sit him down and talk about his next steps

Depends. If it’s purely because he did hardly any work, then as long as he’s prepared to knuckle down, he could benefit from retakes next year.

My dh failed all his A levels (maths and science) first time, purely because of, as he has freely admitted, too much partying.

It was a very good wake-up call. He spent a year at a FE college, got 3 As, followed by the degree he’d wanted, and has had a very successful career.

sashh · 14/08/2026 13:44

On the upside he does not have a 'full level 3 qualification' so he will be funded if he wants to go to college or retake.

Did he actually want to go to uni or was he just on that conveyor belt?

He has options but what he needs now is support. Send his brother to visit a friend or relative, order DR'S favorite take away or take him out to dinner and as well as talk, listen.

Lifeishard2 · 14/08/2026 13:46

This happened to me many many years ago. I got A,A,B in my mock exams for A levels (before the * came in), but come the exams a month or so later, I ended up with C, D and U.

In my case, it wasn't a lack of study, but panic and nerves, which meant I could barely remember my own name, I didn't finish a single written exam, and those grades took into account that for the practical part of each exam, I got in the 90s percentage wise. I did Biology (A>C), Chemistry(A>D) and Physics (B>U).
We were allowed our books on the table in each of the practical exams and psychologically this relaxed me as I knew I knew the answers, but the books gave me reassurance that I could check if needed (which I didn't).

We didn't have that for the written papers, and I just shut down, with vomiting and severe migraines.

The difference between the mock and actual exams is that I knew the mocks were just a practice run so I didn't feel any pressure when sitting them, whereas the real things were going to determine my entire future and that freaked me out big time and I couldn't cope.

@willowfern @Could this be the issue for your DS? Nerves rather than lack of effort?

Ashy987654 · 14/08/2026 13:52

If their dad lives several hours away, the other POV is on Reddit (6th form forum).

In that particular post, the main point from the OP is they lied because they've continually being compared to their brother for their whole life.

Whether it is the same person or not, who knows? But either way, keep his brother out of it and ask why he felt he couldn't tell the truth and what he wants his next steps to be and what support he needs from you to make it happen.