AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

I have an SEN DC and a middle class voice. My DC is in a state school with limited resources. So I know when I argue with school for resources to be spent on my DC they aren’t then available to use on another DC. I am going to use my middle class voice to support my own DC. Of course I also join the more general argument for more SEN resources, but within the school context I can only argue for my own child.

Parents like me aren’t welcome by politicians as an example of middleclasses raising standards. We are called ‘sharp elbowed middle classes’ who are unreasonably hoarding resources.

This.

Hard agree.

I've worked in large inner city schools in poor areas and seen better parenting and general mental health in kids than what friends teaching in Private have discussed witnessing.

Hard drugs and sexual abuse are rife in some boarding schools.

Remember the case a few years back of the kid at the boarder in Devon who took a baseball bat to other sleeping kids?

The assumption that kids will automatically perform better in a 'monied' environment just doesn't automatically follow, for me.

Not at all. in my experience, private school brings a confidence and attitude that is frankly unstoppable for kids especially in this new landscape of job scarcity. It’s such an advantage that they have that is so noticeable when you are hiring grads and young people generally. It’s a broader wisdom as well that comes from teachers spending so much 1:1 time with the kids and nurturing their growth and complete self belief. Those are the things that give the advantage and the endless connections and access to top level people at multiple law firms and banks and creative industries. Just looking at the summer internships opportunities at our school is amazing. Working in banks in the city, at top firms and in film and TV sets. It’s insanity.

but I hate that this is the way. My child is lucky and so are all her friends but it doesn’t mean it’s ok. It’s getting worse as well. So don’t conflate the education they get for £250k with the priceless opportunities and attitude it opens up for the kids. That’s what you pay for. Fast tracking.

OP which area do you live in. There are several knowledable posters who can help navigate school admission criteria.
At 10 you have a perfect opportunity to move schools coming up.
In 7+ yrs time the education post secondary landscape might look very different, mainly due to changing employment trends.

based on an assumption that the choice of school is solely about costs and outcome (objective attainment)

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My family's wealth, and my husband's wealth relative to the rest of the world is not remotely relevant to the point(s) you are making OP, and in any event you don't know what that is do you?🙂All you are illustrating here is that you don't fully understand the fee-paying sector. However, as discussing the finer points of wealth and 'levels' of fee-paying schools (!) is in danger of being peak Mumsnet, I think I will call it a day at this point.

I’ve sent my DS to private school for the sport (he is very sporty and had training nearly everyday and games every Saturday rather than the odd PE lesson. Also for great prior and after school provision ( both me and DH chose to carry on working full time . This was prior to Covid when WFH was not really an option) . It has happened that he did great academically which is a bonus.

Fast track to what? The people in power for the next 3 years are all state educated. It doesn’t get more fast-tracked than that!

I didn't say "all state schools" are noisy and chaotic, but the ones I've worked in could be described that way. I also didn't say they were bad schools. I wouldn't characterise any of the schools I've worked in as "bad" actually. They were loud and could be unpredictable environments but that's because there were 1500-2000 kids onsite, not because the schools were "rubbish". The standard of teaching and pastoral care was good in all of them and the vast majority of the staff were highly dedicated.

My state educated ND child with Alevels that don’t reflect his ability (due to life circumstances )who is at a mid range uni has a highly sort after work placement where he is working alongside those at top Russel group unis with (state educated)4 A*s. He is insanely good at what he does with evidence on his CV. A levels don’t define you and neither does your school. Private schools don’t own broader wisdom or attitude. We need to stop this myth as it contributes to the private school inequality that we as a country really should have sorted by now.

I am state-school educated and I genuinely thought that sending you dc to a private school would give them academic advantage, social advantage, confidence, etc. So I was surprised and mildly amused that my dc private school did not even try to be better academically than my old state school. So I had to spend a lot of money on private tutoring in addition to my tutoring my dc maths and physics (I had to pay for chemistry and modern languages). So our private school did not give my dc any academic advantage, but I am still happy they went to a private school - the atmosphere, the discipline, the resources, the behaviour, Christian religion dominating their pastoral care (CofE) - it was wonderful, as was proper Latin, with translating, reading in the original - I never had that opportunity!

Also, because it was only a small day school and they were treasuring their full-fee paying parents, I was able to take my dc out of school whenever I wanted - like extend our summer hols for a month, for example. I was also able to say 'no filth for my child' and take my dc out of sex ed classes - just because I did not want it.
So, all in all, it was the best experience for both my dh and myself, and our dc, even if academically it was no better than a standard comp. I feel sad that maybe other struggling parents, like us (we did not buy in a good area, instead bought in a a rubbish postcode to afford the fees) wont' be able to afford it for their dc, with the VAT - because even at our minor day school, several children had to drop out with the fee hikes.

Fast tracked to an easier life where doors open for you and friends help introduce you and assist your progress. Fast track in those kind of ways with soft skills that set you apart. Not saying it’s right but it is definitely an advantage and that’s what people pay for.

OP, if you have put your kids in a crap private school and you're regretting it, then that's your issue to resolve.

You do realise, that your 'private schools' vary massively and the reasons people use them vary massively. Some private schools are indeed money for old rope. Some are fantastic. Some are highly selective. Others will take anyone who pays up. Go figure.

Our DC got 4 A stars yesterday which is great - however, at the school she goes to 80% of all grades are at A or A star anyway.

In other areas of the country, a state school may have better results than the local private school. It's very area-specific.

So if your kids are in a crap school and you're paying for this - well, move them obvs.

As for uni, people will be there from all walks of life and all across the world. As if anyone cares! Never mind 'private school students' - international students may be paying over £30k per year for fees alone.

And by the way, it's no coincidence that most 'state school students' at Cambridge are from grammar schools or top academies, or families who could afford to move into good school catchment areas. AKA the same demographics who could use private schools, but didn't actually have to because schools are a postcode lottery across the U.K.,

I went to uni from a state school in the 90s and never even noticed who was state educated or who was not. Nobody actually cares once there because there are people from all over the world. I'm not sure what your issue is really.

Beg to differ on this and I don’t say it lightly. I have seen time and again through my career where advantages are afforded kids from privately educated backgrounds that the state school kids don’t get. I challenge it a lot when hiring but the default is to pay them more and give them more grace in the hiring process. Not nice but sadly true.

What sector and what advantages?

This is all old news. Many studies how “the old boys club, the school tie” is finished.

Infact it’s becoming a joke. universities for one, opening up to state candidates as they seek the best person for the place/job not some magic handshake.

Many at independent schools are mediocre academically and it’s that not so soft recognition fuelling current trends.

And what soft skills?

I went to Oxbridge from a state school and the most intelligent kids were, more often than not, the state-schooled ones. I felt like they'd properly earned their place on intellectual merit, whereas the private schooled ones had been trained for years to pass the interview. The private school kids all had an envious confidence though.

Personally, I wouldn't send my kids to private school because I don't want them mingling with just one particular subset of society. This will rile people but also a lot of them were just dicks.

This private school image is now a joke.

i know so many private school kids who are bullied because their parents put every penny to their fees they can’t afford new clothes or any quality of life.

The state school kids out looking sharp, holidays, enrichment whilst those pouring all their money into private school to face cuts to the arts, sports and co curricular. Many more will leave this year. Unsustainable.

Call it old news if you want but it’s alive and kicking in the TV and film industry and advertising/marketing world and FAANGs where I work. Ive seen it first hand. The old handshake is dying out as it should. It’s no longer male dominated so that had to go.

I work at a FAANG and came through advertising/marketing and started career at TV broadcasters. So entertainment, news, films and marketing for brands is where I have had first hand exposure to it. It’s a recognised problem in advertising which is ironic given the target audience is usually the average person and that’s a group that PS kids have limited experience with. But that’s the sector I can speak about when I say I see the sharp advantage and pay disparity.

What advantages? Confidence( which can easily be mistaken for arrogance)?Not being funny but media and advertising are hardly sectors with depth or sectors that see much competition as regards uni courses.

In my career we are very wary of private school grads, yes we've had some very good ones, but also some exceptionally poor ones, completely lacking in common sense who interviewed well and then performed poorly.

It’s noted.

made example of.

Then (to fit in with UK PC standards) is made example of and changes for the Kudos. “Inclusivity”

Probably better to not have drawn attention.