AIBU to want retired in-laws to visit us with the baby?

[OneCleverRedTurtle]

DH’s parents live 2 hours away. For context I’ve had a tricky relationship with MIL but since our baby was born we’ve put it to one side. We have a very busy 10.5 month old. They have an open invite to come and stay with us whenever they like. (I’m on Mat leave but understand MIL may be hesitant due to past troubles-personally I would think wanting to see their grandchild would trump this and she would swallow her pride somewhat!) They are retired, not in great health so can’t help physically with the baby (we wouldn’t expect them too either but many hands etc) but are insisting we go to visit them in a house that’s not appropriate for a baby. No fireguard, steep steps to garden, no stair gate. Not sure how to broach this.. we’ve done it before and DH and I come away feeling more tired than when we went. We kind of feel they should come up to us. We go above and beyond to make sure they are comfortable and catered for including rearranging our sleeping arrangements so they each have their own bed etc. it’s a lot but our baby has all of their toys, bath, familiar things that make it easier for us as a family. DH will also be using annual leave to accommodate us going to them rather than them coming up on a weekend. We don’t want to offend them but feel that their exceptions are a little unrealistic. Any ideas welcome how to sensitivity broach this without me coming across as a dragon of a DIL!

Could you broach it as when LO was tiny and immobile and weren't that bothered about toys, so they were just as happy or even happier, with no toys in a non-baby-proofed house being passed round for cuddles as they were at home, whereas now they'd want to be down and play with toys so it would be a lot to bring?

Thanks all for the support/‘constructive’ criticism (calling me
precious, digging that I don’t want to go, telling me that ‘in my day we got on with it’) I’m only human and a first time mum. You’re meant to be judging a scenario not me! Won’t be posting here again but I do genuinely appreciate the positive input from some-considering a day visit and possibly a portable stairgate. Honestly if you wouldn’t say these things to someones face don’t hide behind autogenerated usernames to give you some kind of buzz. FYI the majority of voters thought I was not being unreasonable so 🤫

OP you literally asked if you were being unreasonable able. So it’s a bit annoying to start an anonymous thread literally asking for divisive opinions, not engage with the thread at all, and then come back just to flounce and moan about the responses from anonymous people. I’m glad you got something out of it at least.

New to AIBU I take it. This was mild tbh.

Welcome to the internet babe!

I have a 2.5 year old and would never expect anyone else to baby proof their house. At someone else’s house you just watch your child more closely than usual.

It's August and very hot, why would the lack of a fire guard be an issue right now? Your child is 10 months old, lack of a stair gate isn’t an issue either.

Your in-laws should absolutely visit you as well and not expect you to come to them every time. But you’re not the first person to have a baby, and it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to baby proof their house for your child.

Agreed, 2 hour drive is nothing, we did it and more frequently with babies and toddlers.
You also control your leave time 👍👍

Has DH ever broached this with them before?

Suggest meeting for lunch half way ?
and maybe alternate with a visit where you leave early and arrive at their house mid morning and leave mid afternoon.
invite them to visit you and if they decline explain when you next able to visit.