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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say that surrogacy is human trafficking?

96 replies

Finderskeeepers · 11/08/2026 17:07

I’ve just read the story of Kyla Simpson who acted as a surrogate to a single man in China and I’m horrified. The article is behind a paywall so I’ve copied the synopsis below. Surrogacy is human trafficking and should absolutely be banned. Hopefully more stories like this help our governments reach the same conclusion.

In November 2024, Kyla Simpson carried triplets as a surrogate for a single man in China named Ted Zhou. He and Simpson had entered into the contract with joy and optimism. But after his sons were born, in November 2024, Zhou never arrived to pick them up. Then Simpson learned he hadn’t applied for a visa. She agreed to take the babies home until he could come retrieve them.
Five months later, Simpson was surprised when two Chinese strangers appeared at her door and demanded she give them the triplets. They’d been dispatched by Zhou, who was still waiting for his visa interview. Running out of money for the boys’ care, he’d hired them as a last resort. Now, as his calls went ignored, he feared the surrogate he’d hired had fallen in love with his children and would never let them go.
To Simpson, the handlers’ arrival confirmed her own suspicions. She’d started piecing together a theory that Zhou was part of a trafficking ring that commissioned surrogate babies who would be separated and sold. Over the next year, she would call the FBI, accuse Zhou of abandoning the babies, try to terminate his parental rights and file for adoption.
American women gestate thousands of babies every year for overseas parents, almost half of whom live in China, yet no federal or international regulations govern surrogacy. With cultural differences, a language barrier, and a patchwork of conflicting state laws, it can be hard to tell in a dispute who is a victim and who is a perpetrator, who has been scammed and who is the scammer. Now, as the two parties face each other in court, the ruling could threaten the status of thousands of parents and define the future of international surrogacy.

OP posts:
Boreded · 11/08/2026 17:10

Surrogacy is not human trafficking…this story however is vile and is trafficking

ColinOfficeTrolley · 11/08/2026 17:18

Yes. It is human trafficking. A child is procured, usually by a woman who needs money, for wealthier people.

The case above is abhorrent and whilst there are some "altruistic" surrogacies, nobody seems the think of the child in this scenario.

I recall lots of babies born by surrogates in Ukraine, abandoned due to COVID and nobody being able to come and get them. Absolutely heartbreaking, but who cares about poor women. We are just mere vessels wanting our bodies exploiting for wealthier people's wants and needs.

So called altruistic surrogacies, make it possible for horror stories such as the one the OP has posted.

ThunderThunderThunderThunderCats · 11/08/2026 17:20

Boreded · 11/08/2026 17:10

Surrogacy is not human trafficking…this story however is vile and is trafficking

Edited

How is not? It's literally buying a baby!

DancingonmyOwn88 · 11/08/2026 17:26

Of course it’s human trafficking. You outsource the ‘getting’ of a baby to someone in less fortunate circumstances than yourself. I suppose in British law we could say it isn’t technically as only expense money changes hands (on paper at least) In international circumstances it is nothing other than human trafficking.

and yes I know inevitably someone will pop up and say ‘my sister carried a child for us and it was done out of pure love bla bla bla’

That sort of scenario is a vanishing minority.

In any case it can be very traumatic and emotionally damaging for a newborn to be pulled away from its mother at birth, unless the circumstances are such that it’s the safest thing for the baby. I don’t think that applies to surrogacy. Even if she’s ‘just’ the person who has carried it and it’s not genetically hers- it’s the only body that baby knows.

Boreded · 11/08/2026 18:29

ThunderThunderThunderThunderCats · 11/08/2026 17:20

How is not? It's literally buying a baby!

I’m not arguing the merits of surrogacy to allow people to have their own baby when their bodies may not allow it. But let’s be clear, it is not buying a baby, it is renting an incubator at best.

IlikethoseBalenciagas · 11/08/2026 18:32

Yanbu. There is never an reason to buy a baby. I'm sick of celebrity's and the media buying babies off poorer women.

TheChancesAreWeveGoneTooFar · 11/08/2026 18:36

We know, now, the effect of adoption on those who were adopted. We know, now, that there is an impact from being born from gamete donation. Deliberately signing a baby up for that, with a side order of a whole other bunch of knowing you were commissioned, bought, sold, removed from your birth mother at birth - it's a no from me.

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 18:38

YANBU

Babies should never be bought or sold.

ChalkOutlines · 11/08/2026 18:40

Boreded · 11/08/2026 18:29

I’m not arguing the merits of surrogacy to allow people to have their own baby when their bodies may not allow it. But let’s be clear, it is not buying a baby, it is renting an incubator at best.

That’s like saying you don’t buy cereal at tesco, you’re just renting the shelf space.

Soontobe60 · 11/08/2026 18:40

Boreded · 11/08/2026 17:10

Surrogacy is not human trafficking…this story however is vile and is trafficking

Edited

The procurement of a human being is the absolute definition of human trafficking

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 18:41

IlikethoseBalenciagas · 11/08/2026 18:32

Yanbu. There is never an reason to buy a baby. I'm sick of celebrity's and the media buying babies off poorer women.

Yes, literally renting their wombs and risking their lives because they're so desperate.

Those poor women must be heartbroken to have to literally hand over the baby they've grown and birthed.

Yet those who pay them have no shame.

Snoutywoofs · 11/08/2026 18:42

Boreded · 11/08/2026 18:29

I’m not arguing the merits of surrogacy to allow people to have their own baby when their bodies may not allow it. But let’s be clear, it is not buying a baby, it is renting an incubator at best.

Are you a man?

How is renting a woman’s body not human trafficking? It’s akin to prostitution. Women being asked to sell the use of their bodies for money.

Surrogacy should be illegal.

Todolisttoolong · 11/08/2026 18:45

Absolutely human trafficking. Babies are turned into products and bought, sold or rejected if considered defective. Some contracts even stipulate a replacement baby will be provided if the first dies within two years. And that is without considering the gross exploitation of poor women throughout the world to be used as ‘incubators’ and abandoned with any injuries from carrying or birthing the baby that is then torn from its mother at birth.

MaidOfSteel · 11/08/2026 18:53

There was an article in the Telegraph over the weekend about Cristiano Ronaldo and his family. Three of the children seem to have been bought from a surrogate.
The number of people, mostly men, in the comments cooing about what a beautiful family, how great a dad Ronaldo must be etc etc was quite sickening. They were absolutely clueless about the nitty gritty of surrogacy and could not accept that buying babies is trafficking in babies.

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

SupaStah · 11/08/2026 18:55

Well I’ve always thought it was akin to human trafficking, so I would whole heartedly agree!

Scrubwren · 11/08/2026 18:57

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

‘Against their will’? Like the babies being peddled via surrogacy who most certainly haven’t consented to be bred for export?

Boreded · 11/08/2026 18:58

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

But you are about to find out that people think that it is the same as renting shelf space in Tesco, they’ll claim you are a man (unsure why, unless gender means you view things one way or another 🤷‍♀️) or that it is all people buying a poor slave’s body, even that it is the same as prostitution…that’s the replies I got when I suggested that all surrogacy was not akin to human trafficking.

The people here are bizarre

BusyRascal1 · 11/08/2026 19:01

TheChancesAreWeveGoneTooFar · 11/08/2026 18:36

We know, now, the effect of adoption on those who were adopted. We know, now, that there is an impact from being born from gamete donation. Deliberately signing a baby up for that, with a side order of a whole other bunch of knowing you were commissioned, bought, sold, removed from your birth mother at birth - it's a no from me.

But isn't surrogacy the opposite of adoption? In many cases (but not all, I appreciate), adoption is because the baby isn't wanted by the mother. Surrogacy is where a baby is wanted so much that people go down this difficult route, to have the baby. Surely the knowledge of being unwanted, for whatever reason, is what largely in part causes trauma?

BusyRascal1 · 11/08/2026 19:03

Scrubwren · 11/08/2026 18:57

‘Against their will’? Like the babies being peddled via surrogacy who most certainly haven’t consented to be bred for export?

Neither me, nor my children (all of whom were concieved and carried naturally) consented to being bred.

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 19:05

TheChancesAreWeveGoneTooFar · 11/08/2026 18:36

We know, now, the effect of adoption on those who were adopted. We know, now, that there is an impact from being born from gamete donation. Deliberately signing a baby up for that, with a side order of a whole other bunch of knowing you were commissioned, bought, sold, removed from your birth mother at birth - it's a no from me.

For neutral lurkers, who may be interested in what else is known, a landmark 20-year longitudinal study by the University of Cambridge has proven that children born through surrogacy face no negative impacts, showing no differences in psychological wellbeing or quality of life compared to naturally conceived children. Conflating an ethical, scientifically vetted path to family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the rule of law and decades of peer-reviewed developmental science.

Bonnie657 · 11/08/2026 19:07

This story yes and I am against paid surrogacy but if I was to offer to carry a baby for my sister for no financial gain (which I absolutely would do), then no I don’t believe it is and don’t see why that should be banned.

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:08

I think there’s a huge difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. A sister or best friend carrying a baby for a couple who can’t conceive otherwise because she loves them and wants to help where the baby still has contact with the surrogate is so different from an arrangement where a couple commissions a baby from someone who is going through pregnancy and birth only for financial reasons that it almost doesn’t make sense to talk about them in the same context. The case the OP references is dreadful, but I don’t think that makes every case of surrogacy human trafficking.

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:08

I think there’s a huge difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. A sister or best friend carrying a baby for a couple who can’t conceive otherwise because she loves them and wants to help where the baby still has contact with the surrogate is so different from an arrangement where a couple commissions a baby from someone who is going through pregnancy and birth only for financial reasons that it almost doesn’t make sense to talk about them in the same context. The case the OP references is dreadful, but I don’t think that makes every case of surrogacy human trafficking.

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

SockPlant · 11/08/2026 19:16

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