To unfollow people who lecture me

[plsdontlectureme]

I have just unfollowed a load of local businesses, mostly baby & toddler related.

They have gone from just ‘this is going on’ ‘we have this class on a Monday’ ‘here is our Halloween special date’ to becoming increasingly finger wagging and sanctimonious.

I’ve been told not to walk my non existent dog in the heat, why they are no longer sharing photos of children (with a heavy undertone of no one else should be doing so either) why children should rear face as long as possible and various others.

i am not an objectionable person by nature but its so tiresome

I haven’t actually mentioned how my child is seated in the car, just that I know some parents have decided to move to FF for these reasons. So no hint of taking things personally, just generally I dislike being lectured to. (We’re FF in one car and RF in another FYI, so I have a foot in both camps! )

I don't know why it bothers you so much.

We all want children to be safe and the best way to ensure that is to put as much information about keeping them out there as possible. Some people won't know the dangers of forward facing an 18 month old, some won't know the dangers of plastering their kids over social media. These safety messages can open their eyes and enable them to keep their children safer. It's a big thing for grandparents who have no idea on car seat safety in modern car seats because in the 90s car seats kept you attached to the car seat and that was it, they wouldn't protect you from an impact and social media didn't exist so they don't see the danger of putting their grandkids all over their profiles because that generation just loves over sharing, they've never seen the dark side of the internet and have no idea what we were getting up to on there in the 00's. My mum thought I was just talking rubbish with RF car seats and not allowing her to post pictures of my daughter on social media until she saw more and more people talking about it on pages like these and realised she was just out of touch.

If I see advice I think is rubbish I just scroll past and ignore it unless it's going to put children in danger and then I'll challenge it. It's not a personal affront that it's posted for me to see in the first place.

I think it bothers me (I wouldn’t say so much) because I feel I’m being told what I should be doing by people I haven’t asked and wouldn’t ask either.

I think things like what you share and how much on social media and car seats are for individuals to decide; it wasn’t the raison d etre for following or engaging with the pages and hence why I’ve stepped back.

If it was a page specifically for advisory purposes that’s different, but it isn’t.

Yep , I hate the sanctimonious businesses who are virtue signaling to promote their wares. The woke stuff turns me off entirely. Same with TV as soon as something starts lecturing me about climate change etc I turn it off , it's especially annoying with TV when you know they've been burning up the planet to make their programme.

Anyway if I want to be put right about my behaviour, I can come on here

🤣 so true!

Its just the latest fad in social media marketing, telling people about your event or product is passe (and unless its a paid posting the algorithms ignore most of them). Opinion type posts get more interaction and therefore better reach.
But I like you have unfollowed many businesses due to this, so hopefully it will die out soon.

Ah, is that what it is? I was thinking it’s a shame as most of them used to be rather nice - sort of ‘we had such a lovely session on Tuesday morning, it was Millie’s last session for now as her mum goes back to work so we all sang her favourite song’ and now it’s ’PARENTS! Did you know …’ well, yeah, actually I did know and I don’t want to be told especially.

You don't agree with not forcing children on to the internet where they can never remove those pictures, just because you wanted to do it? Okay. Curious why you feel like you own that child just because you birthed them.

But a lot don't know. That's what you don't seem to be getting. There are so many ignorant and uneducated parents that genuinely don't know how to keep their children safe and healthy.

Prime example is the Ella's kitchen baby food pouches debacle last year. There was so much hysteria about "How were we supposed to know weaning a baby on 3 pouches of processed baby food a day was unhealthy!? There were vegetables on the packet!" It blew my mind. Surely it's obvious babies should be given real food? Surely it's obvious that making something last for 6 months on a shelf in a pouch makes it less healthy than if it was fresh? Everyone was go smacked that there was more than a daily allowance of sugar in one pouch for a baby. Why? It's written clearly on the packet that no one read obviously. "They shouldn't be allowed to sell it if its that's bad!" Why? Just read the packet and it's obvious it's not good?

So no, everyone doesn't know what is good and safe and healthy. A shocking number of people don't know and then are angry no one told them when it goes wrong. Yet here people are telling them and it annoys you because you already know! Can you really not understand that lots of people don't know? And the best place to find out things you don't know is social media because of they were the people who don't know this stuff already are the people who aren't going looking for car seat safety information or nutritional information. It needs to be shown to the people who aren't looking for it because they're the people who needs to see it most.

Well, I haven’t given my view on that (largely as I don’t have one) - I understand some people don’t do it and others do and tbh I don’t see it as especially different to photos up in the lounge.

@SerenaCat93 I ‘Get’ that you and others think there are Bad Things and it is their moral and civic duty to inform others of these Bad Things and that if you choose to do them despite Being Told by the gatekeepers of what is right and upstanding then you are a Bad Person. I find it rather tedious.

You can unfollow any page for any reason at all (or even for no reason). But it sounds to me like you have allowed yourself to get wound up and triggered by people exercising their right to free speech by posting these posts that you find so offensive. If it doesn't apply to you, move on.

Yanbu. I unfollowed a little business the other day who were moaning about their lack of trade ‘but we bet Starbucks and Miniso is busy’.

I’d never set foot in Starbucks but this kind of guilt trip just annoys me.

And YY to ERF parents. My cousin has become a casualty of this.

I’m honestly not wound up in the slightest - currently scoffing a fruit pastille lolly next to a fan.

A bit irritated at best.

… and this is exactly why we need better education when it comes to raising awareness of these topics 🤦‍♀️ I’m beginning to think this is a rage bait thread because surely no sensible grown adult who has access to news would think a photo in a lounge is akin to posting photos of children on social media. In your lounge you have control (I would hope) of who comes in and what is done with that image, which is the opposite of social media. I listened to your points on the previous posts but this is just coming across as crap parents getting triggered by facts unfortunately.

I could understand if they were posting controversial opinions, but any health professional, police department or similar would be advising these. Maybe pause scoffing your ice lolly and take a moment educate yourself.

@Turtlestarfish i do tend to switch off when someone uses the word 'educate' to mean 'lecture someone about how their thinking is wrong and immoral'.

I mean, obviously don’t listen to me - I’m just a stranger on the internet who you don’t know from Adam. But I just cant fathom as a parent why multiple professionals, research and awful cases all over the news would be telling you something that’s fact, just to turn round and say “nah my child my choice 🤷‍♀️” and use blasé phrases likening innocent children being plastered online to a photo in a lounge. Genuinely trying to understand this way of thinking 🤯

Yes. Also dumb unemployed influencers who are on TikTok all day ‘raising awareness’

How many people have free access to your lounge?

This wasn’t a random influencer spouting random advice though - the OP followed a baby and toddler group. So was sharing extremely relevant advice to parents of babies and toddlers. Big difference in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

I tend to think the opposite; it’s not someone with a huge platform or who you follow for the purpose of being lectured to. It would be slightly different if it was (for example) paediatric first aid.

@Roseonthebalcony , probably around the same who have free access to my Instagram.

@Turtlestarfish it isn’t about ‘not listening to you’ - I’m already aware of the evils of a profile picture of me, husband and daughter sat on a bench (which sounds a lot more dour than intended actually - it’s meant quite humorously) but I suppose this is the point. We ALL make different choices when parenting our children. My DD does not have a tablet or access to a tablet and never will but I largely keep why to myself. I’m entitled to privately think they are hugely detrimental to children’s development but if I start spouting about that I’m going to piss a lot of people off very quickly.

People have the right to make decisions you personally would not, is the upshot to it. Some things are not Right and Wrong; they are preferences. My social media pages can have whatever preferences they want but if they start using that to tell me about how right they are and this is the one true way to live etc it is somewhat exasperating,

You said that you were 'a bit irritated at best', then went on to say 'somewhat exasperating'. Plus you made a post about it. Just scroll on if you don't want to read certain posts.

Yeah … a bit irritated, slightly exasperated, rolled my eyes a bit? Doesn’t mean I’m red faced and spluttering with fury

It's one thing if their message is relevant to their business. I think a child focused store changing their policy to not show photos of kids is totally fair. If you feel judged, that's kinda on you. (For example I don't post kid pics myself but I wouldn't judge someone who does either.)

Your other points I agree with you more.