To unfollow people who lecture me

[plsdontlectureme]

I have just unfollowed a load of local businesses, mostly baby & toddler related.

They have gone from just ‘this is going on’ ‘we have this class on a Monday’ ‘here is our Halloween special date’ to becoming increasingly finger wagging and sanctimonious.

I’ve been told not to walk my non existent dog in the heat, why they are no longer sharing photos of children (with a heavy undertone of no one else should be doing so either) why children should rear face as long as possible and various others.

i am not an objectionable person by nature but its so tiresome

People can post about whatever they like. No one made you read or comment about it. If you're not interested then don't interact, I don't think it's that a big of a deal. Considering these forums encourage people to do that.

Op just follow things that make you happy. That's what I do these days. Wish I could stop the dratting adverts though. 😅

Maybe the reason they are doing it is for views.
Maybe they get more hits on videos like that, who knows?

Possibly is. I guess it annoys me because I’m following for one reason and being told how to live my life instead! Of course, if I actually did want to know how to properly live my life that would be different, but I don’t. A bit like following a page about beautiful UK photography and being told off for eating rubbish!

The first example you gave is a bit odd and irrelevant to their business I agree. But the other two are related to the safety of children which seems extremely relevant to their followers. IMO, if one parent sees those posts and stops posting children online or decides to extend rear facing their child - it would be worth it.

See I don’t agree. I think that’s an individual decision - there’s ample information out there and people can make up their own minds.

I agree, it takes voices to make change, if they have a platform and want to share that they don’t agree quite rightly that children’s images should be shared then good for them.

YANBU for unfollowing anyone though for any reason.
I’ve unfollowed people before because they’ve started promoting things I don’t want to see, like diet injections, pet dogs imported from abroad, smoking etc

Well that will show them

I think it's absolutely ok to unfollow anyone on social media. Even more so if you don't like, enjoy or appreciate their content. If you actively dislike it then you'd be stupid not to unfollow.

Well ultimately, that’s what will happen regardless - parents will see the post and make their own decision. But for those two specific points, the information out there is very very clear that both posting children online and forward facing before 4 years is extremely dangerous. So it can’t hurt to raise awareness, especially as in my experience followers of baby and toddler group tend to be first time mums that might not otherwise be aware.

You say there is ample info out there but perhaps for some people, these pages that you are so cross about are where they’re getting their information from

I know they don’t GAF. I suppose I feel a bit miffed that what were once nice businesses have taken on a distinctly social media feel.

Sounds like it’s run by a couple of local busybodies. Would irritate me, too.

Actually, this summer I’ve noticed a bit of push back on the blanket statements about walking dogs in hot weather. People have started to reply pointing out the nuances of it.

Oh, I think everyone knows if you FF your child you don’t give a shit about them and actually want them to die or something mad like that!

I don’t think anyone is thinking that, probably just wondering why the parent has chose to do that when a FF child under 4 has a 40% chance of serious injury or death compared to an 8% chance of a RF child.
I would wonder if the parents were even aware. I remember being seriously shocked when I found out it was that big a difference as a first time mum - I was planning to forward face at 18 months before I found out. So yes, that post specifically may have really helped me. If you don’t find it helpful, that’s fine too though. Not everyone is going to find every post helpful 100% of the time.

@Turtlestarfish this is exactly why I slowly back away from any ERF parent, tbh.

Exactly.

Sorry you feel that way. Like I said, I was just completely oblivious as a first time mum and was going to FF my little one as soon as she outgrew her current car seat! So just pointing out a post like that would have been informative for me 🤷‍♀️

What’s an ERF parent?

I agree Op.
Virtue signalling wankery. I guess they do it to show they care/ are a decent operation.
I think it demonstrates the opposite.

Extended rear facing 😊

Oh haha thanks

This why it's a nice, peaceful life without social media. It's completely full of crap nowadays.

Why? Because pointing out that forward facing your two year old is putting them in danger offends you somehow?

You seem to be under the impression that parents who don't ERF know that it's dangerous because they are well informed and don't need telling, have chosen to do that anyway, and want everyone to shut up about it. More realistically some people don't know and are grateful to be told because they want to keep their children as safe as possible.

Interesting

I do find this is often the case with those who ERF. It is a very dogmatic stance to take: that FF is ‘dangerous’ (it isn’t.) It is true that rear facing is safest when you just take it as a straight RF / FF discussion but what tends to influence parents are other factors - ‘child screaming their head off when rear facing’ is a big one, as is car sickness.

I just had a quick google and couldn’t find exactly stats to help but according to Brake children aged 7 and under were killed across all road incidents, and 17 were killed in 2023. I have no way of knowing how many of those were RF and I have no way of knowing if those accidents would have been survivable if a FF child was RF.

It’s obviously an absolute tragedy for those families on an individual level but on a societal level those numbers are very, very low especially when considered in the context of how much we use our cars.

So in brief I don’t see it as ‘dangerous vs safe’ it’s more ‘safest vs safe.’ And as with most things, what is safest isn’t a straightforward decision; if you’re distracted by a child wailing like an Italian opera singer reaching their climatic song then I think we all know you’re much more likely to have an accident in the first place!

So in all honesty I don’t have much patience for the view that if you FF you are putting your child in danger; it’s patently not true and really, best fit would be not to drive at all but we don’t do that (including me!)

I think you’re taking this very personally to your specific case though. From what you’ve said from your situation, sounds like I might resort to FF my child too if they were being carsick or consistently screaming and distracting me after trying alternative methods. That very well might be the safest scenario in that specific situation.

But a toddler and baby group with a large following of first time parents is just providing blanket safety rules to raise awareness as many parents may not be aware of this and may be helpful to their target audience. Same with your second example of sharing photos online. Before I told my parents they had 0 idea of all the dangers with AI etc so that’s another post which would have been helpful.

If a post isn’t relevant to you, that’s fine but it may be to a large group of followers - such is life!