To think my boyfriend should pay for replacement clothing he ruined when drunk?

[Harrissa2]

When we got back from a night out with friends at the weekend, we were a bit worse for wear/tipsy.

When I got back into my bedroom after brushing my teeth and taking my make up off, DP said he was ‘goofing around’ and tried to put a pair of my knickers on as a joke. He’s quite a bit bigger than me so he’d ripped them completely as they wouldn’t even go over his thighs 😑

It was funny at the time , I then realised I only bought them the week before and they cost £40. I hinted at him buying a new pair, and then outright asked the next day, but he said it was an accident and don’t I have loads of others I can wear. I’ve said that’s not the point.

AIBU for expecting him to pay to replace them?

YABU to spend forty nicker on knickers

YBU, and you were both tipsy, but forty quid for a pair of drawers? He can’t possibly have thought they would be that expensive, and at the time and in the moment, I bet you thought it was funny. Chalk it up to experience, and ask him to get you some for your next birthday/ Christmas.

😲 40 pounds for a pair of knickers.

I disagree with PP. To me:

• you replace something that belongs to someone else if you damage it
• it wasn't an accident. An accident is something that you don't intend to do like spilling wine on something or tripping up and ripping something. He decided to get drunk and he decided to try on his girlfriends knickers despite him being a lot bigger.

I can't imagine just wrecking something of someone else's and then saying 'well you shouldn't have spent so much and you have other ones anyway' when asked to pay for it.

that's his problem

No one can be stupid enough to "assume" something is cheap and fair to damage. Assume everything that doesnt' belong to you is expensive and don't ruin it, it's not that hard.

Lol at spending £40 on undercrackers.

He should replace.

They must be really fancy to cost £40. Usually knickers that match bras etc don't cost more than £20 or so.

I agree with you, it's irrelevant how much OP's property cost and whether anyone thinks it was good value. The only acceptable recourse is apology and restitution, every time. It's poor etiquette otherwise.

Yes he should replace them. Early on in our relationship my DP moved my make up bag and broke my armani blusher, it was around £40. He replaced it without me having to make it a thing. When younger I used to spend on underwear sets. It's isn't for other people to decide what you should spend your money on.

I mean yes, he should replace them but I’d honestly think DH had lost mind if he’d spent £40 on a pair of underpants.

That’s a bit different though, women wear underwear to impress men, whilst that isn’t really the case the other way.

Yes, he wrecked them, his duty to replace.

For a start, I didn't know knickers could cost £40, but ultimately, it depends how you do your finances. If everything is separate and you pay the bills 50/50 , you might have a point. Otherwise, it's silly. You were laughing with him. You should have told him to stop immediately.

Look up Agent Provocateur. If anyone wants a jaw dropping moment go onto Flannels website and put knickers in, high to low. Harrods do bargains for children, three pairs for over £90. We were shopping in London over the weekend.

What? No, they don't.

Do they? DH doesn't even cross my mind when I buy my pants.

If I spent 40 pounds on a pair of pants my husband would have thought I'd lost my mind!

Honey, I think you’ll find no knickers impresses them more..

Surely you haven't gone your whole existence without realising that many women choose to wear nice lingerie to look nice for a man?

not your business

Same here.

As my husband says, they don’t stay on long enough 😂

I've just done that - blimey O'Reilly!!
£815 for a "full brief" - and their idea of a full brief bears no resemblance to mine.
I really have lived a very sheltered (and frugal) life. 😄

Don’t get your knickers in a twist

This thread is really depressing. Firstly of course he should replace them. Secondly it’s nobody’s business if the OP wants to spend £40 on knickers. Finally how are so many women still in hock to their partners and afraid of what they’ll say. Do what you want.