AIBU to wonder if grandmas birthday message breached the restraining order?

[Happychappy77]

My ex wife has a restraining order meaning she cannot have direct or indirect contact (through social media or third party)for the next 10 years due to the abuse she put me through. It was my dd 3rd birthday on Saturday (full custody) and I received a message from exs mum, dd grandma. ‘Hey can you wish dd a happy birthday from all of us on this side as we don’t have contact at the center this week’ I spoke to my family about it and some think I should report it as a possible breach as ‘all of us’ implies ex too but I don’t want to overreact i think it might be a bit of a reach as emotions are high but admittedly it has sat funny with me dd has supervised contact with her mum at a center a few times a month. Had a few messages recently where the message seems okay on the surface but there’s a lot of ‘we feel’ and ‘us’. Tia :)

What’s with the faux incredulity/ naivety?

I would say it’s fairly obvious that the OP means they would report it to the police and/ or their solicitor as a breach of the order. The police and/ or solicitor could then either take action to enforce the penalties in the order or go back to court to vary its terms to include further relatives.

And are you aware that is incredibly common for abusers, or ex abusers, to use third parties to do their dirty work for them? In this case it may have been a genuine message from the Grandma, but surely you can see that someone who has been granted a 10 year restraining order (which are not easy to obtain and usually point to severe abuse/ harassment) would be nonplussed to get this kind of message and would be wondering whether it might be sensible to take further action. It’s completely inappropriate to be so dismissive and patronising in these circumstances.

And your comment about not allowing access to the maternal family is just obviously wrong, the OP has been clear that contact is taking place at a supervised
centre. The OP just doesn’t want the restraining order breached between visits.

It's in the OP, it states abuse

I sympathise as my mum was abusive to me and my dad, so I know women can be abusive too.
I wouldn't report this, but if they start overstepping too much I would.

Just to clarify for all the delightful posters who think they know everything or are making ridiculous assumptions. I was asking because I know someone who got one against an elderly relative. He was not remotely dangerous or abusive. My relative’s solicitor did in fact tell him that anyone can get a restraining order against someone else and no evidence is needed. This is a recent experience as well. The person’s motivation was to get my relative out of the house they shared while they waited for it to sell.
Obviously the OPs circumstances are different which is why I was asking before giving a response. OP I would let it go as I don’t think your child or other family members should be punished for the actions of an abusive ex.

Fair enough. It’s just a turn of phrase.