Upset

[Mistersister10]

My best friend of over 40 year’s sister has cancer. I found this out after meeting someone on the street who told me. My friend has not told me and has had opportunity to recently. AIBU to feel upset by this?

It's horrible having to tell people news like this. They're all sorry and it's painful to tell. And makes any other convo hard.

It's not about you.

YAB massively U. It's not even about her, maybe she didn't want to discuss it full stop, maybe she's not sharing her news that is not hers.

Where did the person who told you get their info from? Can they be trusted? Some people are compulsive liars.

It says a lot that your first thought is to be upset that she didnt tell you rather than being upset for your friend or her sister. Way to make a situation about yourself. That maybe explains why she didnt say anything.

It's someone's private medical business it's not public unless the person who has to struggle with the fear of death decides Agnes up the high street is allowed to weave it into their gossip

Agree that it’s not about you. It’s her sister’s private medical information and she does not have to share it with anyone.

I think it's completely normal to feel upset by this. I would be. You're not unreasonable to feel upset but you WOULD be unreasonable to make a big fuss about it. She would probably be glad if you called her and said "I just heard about Janice, I'm so so sorry love, can I take the kids for you while you visit' or some other sympathetic, specific offer of help without her having to tell you the news.

It doesn't matter that you didn't hear it from her. It matters that you love her and she needs your love and help now.

Do not make this about you. If that's your usual response it's not surprising she hasn't told you.

It's someone else's private medical info. She might not want your friend telling anyone.

Just tell your friend you found out and does she or her sister need anything?

Why are you making this about you?? Jeez!

You are allowed to be shocked and upset by the news however being upset that she hasn’t told you is a little unreasonable and selfish.

This isn’t about you and it isn’t about your friend. It is about your friends sister and it’s her news and health to talk about to who she wishes and when.

For all you know she could have told her family that it is not to be talked about to anyone else or your friend could be dealing with the news really badly and by not telling her own friends it’s her pretending it’s not real and being in denial.

This isn’t about you and it isn’t about your friend. It is about your friends sister and it’s her news and health to talk about to who she wishes and when

This.

Your friend might not want to talk about it. Your friends sister might not want people talking about it.

News like this should only be shared by the person, or if they have given the person permission to.

The person who told you in the street had no business telling you.

You cna be upset yes but have a think why you havent been told..

No I wouldn't be upset. Your friends sister confided in your friend and possibly her friends too and its got round. But not from her sister your friend. This would give me confidence my friend was trustworthy.
I'd mention to my friend that I'd 'heard about her sister' and was there if she needed me.

Maybe the person on the street has a close relationship with the sister, so it would be entirely normal for her to share the news with someone she’s close to. It’s not your friends news to tell, and if it was my sister I wouldn’t tell anyone unless my sister asked me to.

Im sorry for your friends sister,but the person who told you obviously cant keep outher peoples persnal sensitive information to there selves ( says alot about them) rather than you being upset they your best friend never told you could meen that she never told that person who told you,her sister mite of told the person on the street thinking it wernt going to be spred around..says alot about that person dont it..just keep her sister in your prayers and dont worry about it x

When I had cancer I didn't tell family or anyone close to me (told my DH)
Told them later when it had gone.

@Mistersister10 , what on earth makes you think she should have told you? What would you do with the information?

You are unreasonable because you're upset that you weren't told rather than being upset for the sister, or even for your friend. You clearly have main character syndrome.

Maybe she doesn't know.

It's not unusual for someone to confide in a friend to talk things through and get their own head straight before telling family.

But even if she did know, there are many reasons not to have told you. Maybe she is still coming to terms with it herself, or maybe the sister has more tests etc., soon and your friend will say something once she knows the treatment plan. Whatever the reason why she didn't tell you, it's actually nothing to do with you.

It’s not your friends news to share is it? It’s her sisters

It’s her sister who has cancer, not about you and what you think you should know. Yabu

Give your head a wobble. It's not about you. It's not even about your friend. Her sister's health is none of your business.

I have cancer. Very, very few people know. Certainly not relative's friends.

It's not about you. Stop being self centered..

I’d definitely be upset that my best friend’s sister has cancer, yes. She must be very worried and upset.

I didn't tell anyone apart from my husband. It isn't your friend's news to tell either. Be upset about the cancer, not that she didn't tell you.