Husband snores like a pig

[Noras]

Husband snores like a pig. He won’t see the doctor and really does not care if I am struggling to sleep. Am I unreasonable to move out of the bedroom into another room. I can’t stand it any longer plus it’s damaging my health. I have played him recordings - he does not care

I had to move out too . No they don't care because it doesn't affect them . Or they think it's no big deal . But I was exhausted and suffered migraines from lack of sleep .
Eventually he went to GP, referral to sleep clinic, diagnosed with sleep apnea. Currently using a CPAP machine. In his own bedroom.

Definitely sleep in a different room.
He needs to be referred to a sleep clinic. Google sleep apnea and show him all the related health issues if it goes untreated. He may care then.

Seriously? I'd be considering moving out of the relationship altogether. Ultimatum time.

Are you sure another room is far enough away?

We have spent years in seperate rooms. Pretty much since we moved in together actually. Sleep deprivation is s genuine form of torture.

My husband does this when hes gained weight/has had a few beers and gets kicked on the couch every time!
is it a weight issue causing this? If he genuinely will not help himself sort it then thats beyond selfish and i’d 100% stay in seperate rooms (or houses…forever)

Him not caring isnt good...

But for the immediate problem, Loop earplugs are really good.
I've described DHs snoring before as 'a walrus drowning in wet cement' and i can sleep right beside him with those in

How ridiculous. Glad my husband is more reasonable.We’ve been married for 38 years.I snore and like many have sleep apnea.

There are insane waits for the sleep clinic, the nurse who saw me says it’s common but so many people are running to be tested and to get a CPAP machine due to social media they can’t keep up or afford it. The machines are a huge amount of money. I was given one as my sleep apnea is high ( I have zero other health concerns or weight issues and they are seeing more like this). I had my trial and it’s quite uncomfortable. The masks which they can’t reuse are hundreds of pounds. You can try several. I don’t like the pressure as you breathe in with it so not sure if I’ll continue but will give it a good go. We sleep separately because of it which we both actually quite like during the working week as have differing schedules. My husband is going to try the Loops for holidays and weekends.Are they the dream ones?

Really silly and over dramatic to suggest chucking away a good relationship just over snoring. Nobody is perfect.

Selfish prick.

Absolutely sleep elsewhere if you have the space!!

Not unreasonable to sleep separately at all, but it should be him who moves. When DH snores badly, which he does from time to time, he offers to go to sleep on the sofa. He also uses nasal strips and other methods to reduce it. He’s not perfect about it but he does at least understand my position too.

Naturally you are angry and exhausted, but I can't get past the insulting nature of your thread title. He doesn't snore like a pig. He snores like a human with sleep apnea.

It is horrible that he shows so little care for you about it, but it might also be worth taking into account how hard it is to really acknowledge the severity of one's own snoring.

Perhaps you are both too angry to talk constructively about the problem at the moment?

ETA, yes of course do move out into another room. I'd missed that you have that option

Can you not see the fundamental difference? You have done something about it. The OP’s husband hasn’t.

I imagine the OP is absolutely exhausted, that’s why she’s reacting as she is.

In response to

“Seriously? I'd be considering moving out of the relationship altogether. Ultimatum time.”

No. I didn’t go to the doctors for many years as didn’t have any health issues. Didn’t want to waste their time. My husband was worried as was convinced I stopped breathing at times so I did but they are getting inundated by people like me who they then have to treat and the waits are long and set to get worse . The MN “just get a CPAP machine” when nobody knows the person snoring or if they even have sleep apnea or the reality of having one( many don’t continue because it is uncomfortable) is also not helpful.

Well if I was your husband I’d have been upset that you wouldn’t go and see a GP for years, especially as he was communicating to you how worried he was. Must have been a very tough time for him, exhausted from being kept awake by your snoring and then also worried as he thought you were stopping breathing in the night but you wouldn’t go and see a Dr.

I hear you @Noras . Separate rooms were the only way for me to get a good night's sleep. Ironically, he wakes himself up snoring now because I'm not there to give him a shove.

The lack of any wish to do something about it if it can be done is the real issue here, and taking what you hope is a short term measure of sleeping in another room is reasonable.

Pigs don't have the NHS so I am not sure you are being kind to them by comparing them with your inconsiderate husband.

I had this with my ExH. Played recordings of how loud it was and was genuinely worried about his health - he didn’t give a fig.. it literally drove me insane. I realised that was just another reason why I needed to leave! 4 years on - I sleep very comfortably ☺️

Ok however the relationship is worth an awful lot more to him than snoring ( which I can’t help)and he’s not perfect either. We’d never call each other pigs.We also quite like separate rooms.

Which Loops have you got Electoral? I bought some for this purpose and sent them back for a refund as DH snores blasted right through.

As mentioned, snoring might be apnea - a cpap machine might be the answer. If so getting the machine would stop snoring andbring him other health benefits and generally make him feel better.

There are Facebook groups you might want to peruse.

You can get a sleep test kit delivered to your home (bit like a chunky Apple Watch), results uploaded next day. Cost of machine….£500 upwards, i took a risk and bought mine from Bulgaria about £300. The NHS route is free but will take months.

I’m surprised you haven’t already moved to another bedroom, it’s torture being kept awake by snoring. Get all set up today OP, it’ll be bliss tonight!!

Also… as I say on every snoring thread… the snorer should be the one to get out of the shared bedroom! Especially if like my DH they are refusing to try to do anything about the snoring. The one making the antisocial noise is BU and moves!! Unless (as per my fantasy) you are able to furnish and enjoy a separate bedroom of your dreams and sleep like a princess in your own space that way.

We have separate rooms because of this issue and it’s fantastic. My room is much tidier 😂

The snorer is always incredibly defensive because they ‘can’t help it’, and there’s always very little acknowledgement on their part of the suffering their partner has to endure.
No, sometimes the snorer can’t help it. They do have a duty to try and fix the issue though. Seeing a GP/moving into another bedroom etc.