To think late 40’s is an odd age?

[Theyareblaringoutshakiraagain]

I don’t know, I just feel weird.

Starting to feel older, which is depressing, but also i’m the same person inside, but not.
How can I be that same girl that danced until 6 am, now people barely notice me.

Not making much sense, but does/did anyone feel the same?

Cannot believe I’m nearly 50, didn’t feel this about 40, still felt young and had a baby!

I’m 44 and read this thread with great interest. I still have youngish kids and sort of feel like I would have been better off having my kids in my early 30s and not late 30s as it turned out. I’m just quite tired of the school run and various other things about this stage of parenting. I look forward to being a parent of preteens and teens at 49!
Generally I feel like this is a time in my life when I’m questioning a lot of my life choices. My career choice - do I really want to do this until I retire and is there stil time for complete change of course? My marriage- did I marry DH because I loved him that much and we were such a great match, or to what extent was the desire to start a family a factor? Did he more just tick the right boxes to be the father of my children?
And omg the nostalgia some posters have mentioned. Is that why I’m daydreaming about men I dated in my 20s and listening to 00s hits?!
I truly hope things will feel much more clear by the time I reach my 50s. I hope I won’t be questioning so much - whether or not I end up making any changes. And fingers crossed we’ll keep our health. Definitely starting to feel new kinds of back aches in the past few years.

I'm 47 and more and more the words of Abe Simpson ring in my ears:

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it is weird and disturbing."

You should feel in your prime at 47. Maybe a bit square at 49.

I agree with you OP - I'm feeling weird about where I am in life, how I feel.

You should feel in your prime at 47. Maybe a bit square at 49.

Going to have to get this on a t-shirt!

48 here. Still feel mentally like I’m late 20s but my body feels old. Perimenopause has taken over and today is a bad day. I’m hormonal and crying but not sure why. Also I’m really aware of my health and longevity. I’ve fallen over at work and hurt myself badly. People have been messaging me to wish me a speedy recovery as they have heard I’ve “had a fall”.
A pupil once said to me at work that every day we get closer to our death… and that has started to haunt me.

I get this.

Looking back at my life and it's such a jumble of jewels tangled up with bad decisions.

I'm invisible when I walk into a pub or social situation-I never stood out but never had a problem getting a date before I married STBXH.

thinking wtf am I doing with my career now in likely looking at the last third of it

I’m 52 & if you haven’t done it already, one of the best things you can do for yourself right now is start weightlifting.

I wish 16 years ago mid 40's and beginning to be very peri that I had started supplements to help me earlier.

When I did, they helped so much.
Back then I wouldn't touch HRT because of the narrative back then.

I went on a vitamin B complex and a Starflower capsule and they helped.
If I could go back I would add, vitamin D3+k2,
Magnesium bisglycerate
Zinc and vitamin C
Ashwagandha to manage stress.

These have kept me super well, sleeping great and managing my crankiness so much.
The vitamin d3 and k2 have stopped my recurring chest infections completely, which has been incredible.

I had 6 chest infections in one year before realising my vitamin D was in the ground.
I had no idea it was critical to my immunity.
Taking it with k2 means it helps with calcium absorption and distribution rather than messing up your arteries.

I hugely overhauled my diet so I was snacking on foods that helped me, like almonds, walnuts, dried apricots, dates. Eating enough fibre and protein.

Its a lot of effort initially but the results make it worth it.

Can relate. I turn 50 in a few weeks and the past year has been so weird for massive bouts of nostalgia.

Yes I do think that is a normal age to start having these thoughts OP. As you slide into your 50s it starts to feel okay again - you sort of recalibrate. I'm sure menopause is part of this process. Also - FYI no matter how old you get you still feel just the same on the inside. And remember (because this is true) you will never be this young again.

Im 40 very soon, i walked past a window yesterday and saw myself and thought i really like who i am what i have grown to, my laid back look, not a clue why i thought it.
Walking home thinking alsorts about myself, my child has moved out im single free to do what i want.
Debt free Maybe i should book a holiday, i have all the time in the world for me now.
More years behind me than infront of me, i should use them for me.

It’s a privilege to grow old (I’m 55!) To be able to reflect on life’s achievements, ups, downs and catastrophes

I have cancer. I won’t come out the other side. I find myself giving DD (21.5) and DS ( 18.5) “ advice” all the time.

Don’t make the same mistakes as me” I tell them.
“ Save for a house”
” Stay financially independent”
” Follow your dreams”
“Live in the present, as we don’t know what the future holds.

I don’t know who I am either. Maybe I will discover me, on the other side. I do hope so!

I’ve found hitting 40 hard!

I also feel unnoticed - by family but also by everyone I meet through work and leisure. It’s very odd.

And I also ache so much - used to do sport 3-4 times a week and be fine. Now I constantly have aches and niggles.

it’s sad 😞

Depends what life stage you are at. Both of my parents became ill and died in my late 40s, and there were difficult teen years with DDs to say the least. But in myself I got fitter, stronger, lost weight, periods stopped completely (yey!) had no endometriosis symptoms for over ten years, very little in terms of menopause symptoms, doing well at work in a job I like, having more hobbies and social life, spending more time as a couple with DH and some really lovely family time. So yes, it has been Interesting Times but also with many things to feel happy about.

I relate to this thread SO hard!

Trying to do stuff about it - allll the supplements, change in diet, HRT appt booked, exercise. Aware though that I'm making more GP appointments, looking older in photos (I mean, obviously, but still), looking back to who I was and dumb decisions I made/the great times I had. AND my idea of a good time is a garden centre rather than dancing on tables.

Work FT, two sen teens and struggling parents who I have an odd relationship with. At least I can no longer tolerate alcohol 😅

I’m 49 and feel fantastic. I’m in the best health I’ve ever been in. I weigh train 4 times a week and now I’m gaining muscle. Sailed through menopause. Didn’t even know I was going through it and now I’m at the end. I used to think I’d hate turning 50. I say bring it on

Did you go through menopause fairly young?

It is because you are middle aged. Which is hard to accept. No longer thirty something which seems more as if part of younger society. No getting around it.
At work, keeping yourself looking good, aging parents , everything seems to need more effort to be noticed, valued and appreciated. Perhaps not so much at forty. By the time 46 comes, definitely.

I sort of get what you mean but I don't feel invisible or not seen

No, not at all. I had my last baby at 41, menopause at 42. A lot of people asked if it was my first....my oldest was 20
She made me a grandmother the following year..I got married at 48..I did end up looking after him, plus my terminally ill father, plus working ft nights. I've always looked after myself,my body.i was nursing and in my 60s was fitter and healthier than my colleagues half my age,who smoked and drank to excess. I saw men in their 30s having strokes because of drug taking, their lives would never be the same. I've never smoked, taken drugs, got drunk.

I have had to do this.

was on hrt but had to come off due to breast cancer

Changing my diet and a few supplements, plus how I exercise is the only way I can cope with the side effects of tamoxifen and menopause

TBF the hrt didn’t help as much as over hauling diet and exercise has.

Am 50 soon

Some of it I think is a a post covid / too much tech world. Obviously we remember being young adults without mobile phones etc. It did feel a simpler life.

One area I find interesting but also tricky is trying to work out who I am at this age. My life went on pause to raise the kids, who though still need me are more independent and within the next 5 years will (hopefully) be at university.

So I’m thinking what do I want to do with my time. I work long hours but need some interests out of this. Not interested in gardening, or any crafty things. Like keeping fit but mostly running or weight training by myself.

So far I’ve started going to see live music more, which I love. But I need stuff to fill my time on a day to day basis that is not scrolling MN 🤣

I totally understand you.
I'm 49 and feel and act and sound like my grandmother! Yet in my mind I'm still the young woman who had a zest for life and ambitions and dreams.
I've gone from being noticed (in a nice way) in public to becoming totally invisible unless it's someone huffing and puffing at me in anger because my disability (which I never used to have) forces me to go slowly and although I always try to keep to my left to let people pass me, it's not always possible.

The local kids refer to me as "that nice old lady" and I feel as though I've lived my life and I've got nothing left to actually live for.

I really don’t get why you would need HRT for feeling strange about aging. Adapting emotionally is part of the process even when it’s stressful and upsetting.

OP I relate so much! I’ve also found the nostalgia very strong. I find myself constantly listening to rave and dance from the 90s and dancing like a nutter. I also have so much enthusiasm for trying new things and getting fit and strong but it is both freeing and strange how noone notices!