AIBU to think people on MN should stop directly engaging with you once you’ve asked them to?

[ThatJadeLion]

I find it utterly baffling that some people cannot accept that others may hold a different view on Mumsnet and similar platforms.
Of course it’s a discussion forum, and people are entitled to disagree, continue the wider conversation and express their own opinions. But once somebody has clearly said, “We have different views, I don’t wish to discuss this with you any further,” I think that boundary should be respected.

Some posters continue quoting and directly responding to the same person again and again, becoming increasingly argumentative or aggressive, even after being asked to stop. At that point, it no longer feels like a normal exchange of views; in some cases, it can begin to feel like someone is being deliberately hounded.

AIBU to think there should be a way to prevent another poster from repeatedly quoting or directly engaging with you... or at least a point at which they are expected to let it go? They could still continue the general discussion, just without persistently coming back to somebody who has made it clear they no longer wish to engage.

I'm being a bit of a devil's advocate dick here but...technically, you don't (need to be prepared to back up your POV or retract that statement). On a public forum, within legal boundaries, people can say what they want without evidence, however irritating that is. I'm not disagreeing that in an ideal world people would make rationale arguments online and cite their sources, I'm just saying that there aren't actually any real consequences (other than other posters getting annoyed) for people saying all kinds of bollocks. I get your frustration though.

Love the fact that initially I accidentally wrote "devil's advocate duck"

I mean, you could just close the thread and not look at it again

Also, if your opinion is something racist or ableist or whatever, you can't really expect everyone to just agree to disagree. If your opinion is abhorrent, then you should expect it to upset people

I wonder where accusing an exonerated person of being guilty of murder would fall, legally speaking? That’s why I separated meaningless opinions (takeaway preferences etc) from accusing someone of committing one of the worst possible crimes. But I suppose you’re right, I’ll add a third option: back it up, retract it or suck up the fact that posters are going to ask you (probably repeatedly) for justification of your point of view.

Love the image of a devil’s advocate duck 😂

You can say 'You seem to want to have the last word so I am gifting that to you. I won't respond to you any more on this thread. Please go ahead and make your post, with my blessing' or some other PA shit.

That way, if they do respond they are doing what you've asked them to do and if they don't that's also great.

Of course not.
You don't get to control who posts on a public forum, or who quotes you or replies to you.
The only thing you control is whether you read or respond to them.

Unfortunately (specifics of your particular spat aside) internet forums do tend to attract people who are a) extremely dogged/repetitive especially on topics of special interest to them and b) with a lot of time on their hands

I can't see any forum discouraging this type of behaviour as it massively drives up their engagement

I’ve had someone on a MN thread hound me aggressively on the thread then bombarded me with private messages which became more and more personally threatening. Had to block them in the end.

This was on a thread about knife attacks on teenagers in London. This person was asserting that the victims were all gang members so the issue wasn’t anything anyone should care about and cited one particular recent victim to prove their point. That victim happened to be a close friend of a family member of my friend and I knew they were just an average college student, no involvement in crime or gangs. The poster insisted I was lying and was determined that I was going to admit that. It got quite scary and I really hoped I had not given any details that would allow them to find me IRL.

... a way of getting the last word yourself in other words!

This. If you keep responding then you are continuing the conversation, @ThatJadeLion

If they are harassing you, ask mnhq to step in. But in this case @ThatJadeLion , I think it was reasonable to ask you to back up your assertion about AK.

Exactly, with that tiny bit of satisfaction, if you're that petty 😂

Yes- this.

You cannot control what people on a public forum are going to post and to think you can is ridiculous.

If you no longer wish to engage with someone online, then stop engaging with them online. They cant have an argument with themselves, it takes two people to disagree so stop engaging.

Take some personal responsibility for your own behaviour and feelings rather than expecting to dictate what other people should be doing. Otherwise it simply sounds like you just want to have the last word.

I had someone be particularly nasty to me on some threads. They also kept asking really intrusive questions that had nothing to do with them. I asked them to stop, and they would. They would then carry on on other threads under a new name.
They then made a username that was almost identical to mine.
Fucking weird.

If you stop replying to them, then they won’t keep quoting you. Telling someone to not reply to you is rarely going to work. And will just fire up the other person more. Ultimately you can’t dictate who replies to you on a public forum.

There is at least one person on here that does this all the time, frequently changing names. I can't think why someone gets their kicks by trying to provoke an argument. She/he stops when confronted. The best thing is to ignore- don't feed the trolls!

If you suspect someone is a troll then report.

You don’t know who has
name changed unless they have a specific ‘tell’ most of the time anyway.

Theres a difference thought. Where a poster just wants to argue despite a thread moving on the best thing to do is not engage and report to mumsnet if it continues.

In cases where you want to post ridiculous and idiotic opinions unchallenged, then I think you need to accept others responding to that as per the nature of a public forum.

It’s how it always strikes me!

Of course I report trolls.
I also know that normally you can't tell if people have changed their names, but certain people have a way of writing that makes it obvious.

I'd quite like a 'block' button. There was one particular poster who was behaving towards me in quite a bizarre way, I thought.

Now, I simply refuse to reply to any of their posts directed at me.

I am always surprised when people believe all they have to do is tell someone not to reply to them though!