My older sister found out her husband had been cheating on her for the last 2 years. She genuinely had no idea, never suspected anything. A couple of months ago he told her he wanted a divorce because he'd met someone else and wanted to pursue things with her. She completely fell apart and just couldn't accept it.
She called me and I told her to come and stay with us for a bit. DH and I have 3 kids ages between 4 to 8 years old so our house is pretty hectic at the best of times, but we have a spare room and I thought a couple of weeks away from everything would help her. Its summer holidays I want to spend some time with just my children and husband on weekends as we both work but on weekends she is in the house moping around.
The thing is, it's now been almost 2 months. I feel awful for her, I really do, but in the nicest way possible I don't really want her living here anymore. It's not that I don't want to support her, and it's not that she wouldn't always be welcome to come over or stay if she needed to again, but our house is busy enough as it is. I have 3 young children, work, a husband and all the normal family stuff going on. I can't be the only person keeping her going.
She's also not without options. She has enough money to rent somewhere if she wanted to. She could also go back to the family home because he's the one who's moved out. My parents have even asked her to move in with them. They live in a 6-bedroom house and it's just the two of them, so she'd have loads of space, but she's refused.
He's made it very clear he doesn't want to work things out. He just wants everything sorted through solicitors. As horrible as that is, there isn't really anything anyone can do to change his mind. She keeps talking about how she can get him back and has even asked me to speak to him, but I honestly don't see what that would achieve. If someone has decided they want to leave and be with someone else, what exactly am I supposed to say?
The atmosphere in the house is starting to affect everyone now as well. She's understandably upset all the time, but it's very heavy. My 4yo has started asking why she's always sad, why she's here all the time and what happened to her house. He can tell something isn't right even if he doesn't fully understand it.
I know she's grieving the end of her marriage and I do have so much sympathy for her, but I also feel like there comes a point where she has to start taking some steps forward. I was expecting her to stay for a couple of weeks, not indefinitely.
AIBU for wanting to tell her it's time to either go back to her house, stay with our parents or find somewhere of her own? I feel guilty because I know she's heartbroken, but I also don't think it's fair on my own family for this to carry on much longer.