AIBU to want Christmas in Thailand with our daughter?

[mangostein]

Our daughter and her husband moved to Singapore about 3 months ago. They aren’t coming back at Christmas because they want to settle in and not come home too soon.

Both DH and I have both parents around, thankfully, but in their 80s and 90s. Both sets go out for their meals at local hotels on Christmas day. We then see them in the evening.

DD has asked it we’d consider meeting them in Thailand for Christmas. To stay at a really nice hotel and have Christmas together. I would be sad to not be at home but think this sounds great. DD2 is also keen. DH has said absolutely not. Christmas is a family time and that means staying in Sussex.

And if they go, DH will be the only missing family member.

Why does he pull rank? Why are OP and her possibly adult DD not permitted to spend Christmas where they want? They aren’t dictating anything to DH. He has his choices like everyone else.

There are four living grandparents?

If you're looking for a nice hotel in Singapore, I can recommend the Jen on Orchard Road.

Go , it sounds great .

Interesting - why would you to to Singapore but not Thailand?

Christmas is a family time

Well, his daughter is family, so . . .

Team Thailand here, what a great opportunity. Plenty of time to see the Grandparents for a lovely meal/get together before you go.

As PP mentioned many families have several 'family Christmas' days so that everyone can be included. Sounds like the OP's parents & in-laws have their own Christmas routine they are happy with, but perhaps they too might like to shake it up and come to Thailand as a one off?

You really don’t think people should go away at Christmas if that means the grandparents don’t see them that day?

I mean fair enough, you’re entitled to your opinion, but I think it’s minority.

Why does “family time” mean it has to be in Sussex? Is he hopeful if he holds out his dd1 will agree it’s family time and come back to the UK?

Has he not quite got that his home and her home are different places and she’s still family even if she moves away?

family Christmas doesn’t have to be in the family home. He’s going to be very lonely if he refuses to leave his home of Christmas Day and insists family comes to him because “tradition”.

You go and let DH stay in Sussex.

Id be so gone lol.
Why does your dh decide?
Im a grown ass woman, no one decides for me.
Leave him behind.

DH has said absolutely not. Christmas is a family time

And yet he won't be with his wife and two dds on Christmas Day? If he really doesn't want to go, you can't force him but I'd find it odd that he would choose not to go with you. Does he have other reasons for not wanting to travel abroad?

No I don’t think that, and that isn’t what I said. I had an earlier post.

It could be anyone's "last ever Christmas" regardless of age; yes obviously the older someone is the chance is greater but we don't know what is around the corner. Imho we shouldn't miss out on something we really want to do just in case.

Last year we did something totally different that didn't involve any other family members, it did actually turn out to be FIL last Christmas. DH & I both say that it was our favourite Christmas despite this.

Your DH is allowed to have preferences, but I would struggle to stay with someone so boring. What's wrong with a different Christmas.
You might be unable to travel one day for whatever reason (I mean Covid was one, health issues are another), why on earth would you not make the most of it while you can.

He should make an effort here, because you want to spend Christmas with your own kid. He would be completely BU to refuse. You are not asking for a new tradition, but to spend one Christmas.

Personally I’m not a fan of being away at Christmas. Ruins the vibe. Really it’s on her to come home.

I don't get why parents are more family than his daughter. Also it's not like you have a multi-day massive christmas event for extended family and relatives, you just see the parents in the evening. Of course go, we have done Xmas in Thailand 3 times, it's great!

Are your elderly parents even bothered about Christmas anymore or just doing it because they think thats what you want. Might be worth actually speaking to them about it

Surely "Christmas is family time" is a reason to go?

Is DH hurt that they left?

How many Christmases have you spent in Sussex so far out of curiosity?

Sussex will still be there in November, in January, in February. You have a lot of boring grey rainy Sussex day coming your way, I wouldn't worry about that 😂

Do Thailand with your children and do a family thing with your parents on another date.

Of course go. It'll be more fun. We've had our last 2 Christmases warm and sunny. Enjoy life.

Christmas in Thai land is amazing, surely your daughter is family too. Go out with your parents a few days before and enjoy. You could always leave hubby home and go with dd2

I can never understand the thing about one flipping day. Take both of your sets of parents out to celebrate another day and go and enjoy your daughter and her family in Thailand. I imagine your parents will feel the same way too. Your husband needs to rethink this.