Is it normal to feel this anxious before a holiday

[goggly20]

Due to go abroad this Saturday. I feel so anxious that something might go wrong this week to prevent us going. This morning my dd said she had a sore throat and already I’ve catastrophised this into the start of some terrible illness that will stop us going (she is fine within herself). I am constantly on edge thinking someone will get ill or something will go wrong and we won’t be able to go. Logically I know this is completely pointless and worrying won’t solve or prevent anything.

I think because it’s our one holiday of the year and we all look forward to it so much it just plays on my mind. Also a bit overwhelmed from trying to get everyone packed and ready while working. Is anyone else like this? What can I do to just chill and look forward to it? At the moment the lead up to it is the worst part when I should be excited and happy to go.

I get like this before Christmas. December is historically always the worst month for illness, though it was worse when DC were younger. I genuinely live in fear of stomach bugs over Christmas.

Not so bad before we go away but I understand the feeling. It’s because you’re looking forward to it so much and it also costs a lot so serious illness risks ruining it all. I’d say it’s normal.

Same here. Christmas is the worst because my parents look forward to it so much and I have a supressed Immune system so if I get sick I know how disappointed they are as well. Bah, humbug.

I feel the same. It helps me to write down my worries, the things I can and things I can’t control.
I can’t control if my child gets sick.
I can control whether I have packed a first aid kit with calpol and a thermometer, I can research the closest pharmacy.
I can’t control whether something gets cancelled. But I can make sure I have travel insurance. Etc.

I lie in bed thinking up every bad scenario, in the superstitious hope that if I’ve covered something, then it can’t happen.

As for illness, I invariably get a cold three days after going on a plane. Twice dh and the dcs were off in Disneyworld parks whilst I was lying in a hotel bed with a temperature and a raging sore throat. Happened on numerous other holidays too. I go a year without being ill and then I enter an airport…

I am going away, just me and dd8. My anxiety is through the roof. Have checked passports not out of date approx 1 million times, packed, doubted myself, unpacked and repacked about 20 times…
Ugh, why did I decide this was a good idea?!? Almost just want it to be over now, hate this feeling!!!!!

I get really anxious too and we only afford to go away every other year, and this year is the year. One DC has an autoimmune condition so health is unpredictable and there is always something that pops up health-wise just before a holiday.

Thing is, as soon as I am away, I am worried about a catastrophe occurring back home, like family becoming ill, house being broken into.

I get pre holiday anxiety.

When I was younger I used to inwardly roll my eyes at people who returned to the same holiday destination.
Now I can understand it as I think it would probably be less stressful.

There’s a nasal gel called Vicks First Defence which I always use before getting on a plane or going to packed busy places. I really recommend it.

OP, I’m the same with holiday anxiety. I agree with a PP who recommends writing a list of everything you’re worried about. Getting it out there on paper is so much better and clearer than having it whirling around in your head.

I am 40 so could definitely be peri. I am a pretty anxious person but this year it feels like it has definitely ramped up. I am so worried about illness, either mine or the kids. Or something happening before the weekend to stop us going.

@namechange6766333545544 - now I’m triggered by the First Defence smell as when I squirt it up the smell reminds me I’m about to get a cold 😭

It's our first ever family holiday abroad, we also leave at the weekend.

I haven't flown for 14 years.

Kids have been around another child (Sunday) who has started vomiting in early hours.

Add to that I have emetophobia which is a massive reason I haven't flown in so many years and yep I am a fucking wreck.

I was pretty stressed anyway as youngest DC is disabled so travelling looks a bit different for us but now I am in full on panic mode.

No pain no gain.

Don't let the worry about not being able to go spoil the actual going! If you get ill, you get ill. You can't change it or control it. Its very unlikely that someone'll get so ill you can't go

In terms of packing unless your going to the depths of the rainforest if something important is forgotten you can buy it there, if its not important you can be without it for a week.

Some anxiety before going is completely normal, but it shouldn't be overwhelming and as I said you've got to actually enjoy the holiday otherwise its not worth it

@goggly20 you might want to look into HRT sooner rather than later to help with the anxiety. Speaking from experience. 40 isn't too young.

Just been having this EXACT conversation with my teen DD…

I am the same. I am in the US now but before I came I kept expecting something to happen to prevent it. Now I am here, I am terrified of illness or something, even though I locked down really good, expensive insurance. I am terrified of needing healthcare in this country. I am here a lot as well so it's a frequent issue.

I'll be back in a few months and already thinking about what might happen to prevent it. I haven't even come back yet!

I also use first defence. I was ill for the entirety of my last trip and trying to avoid that again.

It’s been booked a long time. Holidays well into the future are always going to fine, aren’t they?

If I go, I’ll very likely have a great time; if I don’t go, I’ll regret it, be annoyed with myself and it will let down various other people.

Do the thing of acknowledging your anxiety, spend a limited time 'being anxious' - like 2 minutes or whatever to just feel the way you feel without beating yourself up about it. Tell yourself that it is an emotion like any other and you are allowed to feel it for a bit. Then when the time is up focus on something you can smell, something you can feel, something you can hear, something you feel with your fingers. Do a body scanning exercise and some slow breaths. Remind yourself that whatever happens has happened to people before, and your will survive it. My peri anxiety surges seem triggered by heat so cold clothes on my neck and wrists helped. Not being trite but a really cold aperol really helped too!

All of that helped me to get through my moments. I think you'll be fine @goggly20 - you got this!

Definitely more anxious since i got past late 40s.

Life showed me it's hand in a bad way a few times and now i know i'm not blessed or watched over or any of the stupid things i used to believe which made me feel invincible 🙄

Now i just think fucking hell a holiday just ramps up the potential for stuff to go to hell in a hand cart and only i (with a lot of meticulous planning) can prevent it.

Having said that we've just come back from ours and it was fine and lovely! 😁
Youll be fine too OP 👍👍

I think it’s quite normal OP. I’m lucky in that I manage to take several breaks throughout the year, but I still have the worry about getting ill and having to cancel, but for me it’s a worry that I would be ill and spoil things for other people. This is a fairly recent fear though, since I’ve got older and since all the stuff around covid.

If those were your chosen travel destinations then you are braver than most! I suppose it puts worrying about a week in Mallorca into perspective!

Is that the spray? I use it when I feel a cold coming on but didn’t realise you could use as protection .

It’s a gel. I use it as a preventative and i haven’t had a cold or virus for ages now

Yes. It’s unfortunate isn’t it? We are flying tomorrow.

Youngest had a tooth extraction a few days ago so been fretting about that as didn’t want it to get infected.

i had a slight lower ab pain - so have already thought shit, is this appendicitis?

you are really not alone. I tend to calm down completely when I actually arrive.

We’ve had so many pre holiday crises I don’t actually look forward to holidays anymore to protect my nerves. Broken bones, vomiting bugs, breakdowns, even a court case once. We’ve always been able to salvage something though. People are very kind and will usually help you out if you ask nicely - we’ve had flights rescheduled, hotel stays extended, a credit for a ferry journey when we couldn’t make it.