Is it normal to feel this anxious before a holiday

[goggly20]

Due to go abroad this Saturday. I feel so anxious that something might go wrong this week to prevent us going. This morning my dd said she had a sore throat and already I’ve catastrophised this into the start of some terrible illness that will stop us going (she is fine within herself). I am constantly on edge thinking someone will get ill or something will go wrong and we won’t be able to go. Logically I know this is completely pointless and worrying won’t solve or prevent anything.

I think because it’s our one holiday of the year and we all look forward to it so much it just plays on my mind. Also a bit overwhelmed from trying to get everyone packed and ready while working. Is anyone else like this? What can I do to just chill and look forward to it? At the moment the lead up to it is the worst part when I should be excited and happy to go.

I have no advice but I'm exactly the same, I feel sad sometimes that other people look forward to these things so much but I just can't seem to

Totally normal, we work and save all year for this two weeks we limp towards. I’m the same when it’s time to come home!

Ugh I just wish I could chill out and actually look forward to it! A few years ago we had a weekend away planned and dd got very poorly literally the evening before we were meant to go - I thought she might be alright but the next morning she was throwing up and clearly too sick to travel. We lost loads of money and were all gutted and that was just a weekend away. Since then I get worried about it happening again.

I am exactly the same, I have actually had to give myself a good talking too as my stress before holidays was impacting everyone else in the house.
write lists, ensure you spread the work load of preparing with the rest of your family.
Make sure you have good travel insurance. I tell myself now if anything goes wrong we are insured.

This is why we haven't gone abroad for 2 years.

Increasingly normal because

Covid. We couldn't travel and that frustration is still in the back of your mind

We build holidays up, especially summer ones with kids, to be a brilliant, must enjoy every moment despite knowing you'll be doing it all again next year

The grief of airports...the way we accept being treated like scum. Being herded from place to place. The lack of information. The lack of staff to ask The million things you worry can go wrong. I used a ferry to France in may. Completely different experience relaxing controlled information always available.

The horror stories the press love

The thing is 70 million holiday trips are made by brits every year 99.9999% are fine. You will be fine. She may have a sore throat today, being a kid she's going to be fine tomorrow.

Why are you doing everyone's packing?

Same
Be it long haul, or Yorkshire Dales

We have had a couple of bad experiences travelling abroad, which has sent my travelling anxiety into overdrive.!

I feel exactly the same. I start packing about 2 weeks before we go because I worry about forgetting things. I make DH be in charge of looking after the passports/boarding passes/any other paperwork as the thought of it makes me so anxious. I hate the whole process of flying.

I do find getting sorted for holiday a bit nervy just because I’m trying to get work stuff all tied up, dh is self employed and has logistical handovers to do with his business partner, the house needs sorting etc etc. but I don’t think I’ve ever worried about illness in the lead up to holiday, probably because it’s not happened to us before. Our dc are grown up now, everyone does their own packing, the washing is always as up to date as it can be and we are of the opinion that with the exception of passports, keys, money and DDs medication anything we forget can be bought if required when we get there.
i don’t mind the airport (quite enjoy it actually) but I do hate flying, as soon as we land I can start to enjoy my holiday!
We are last minute packers, done the morning we go or the night before if we have a very early start. Why stretch out a boring job that takes 15 minutes across days?! No way.

Same here. Even after all these years, and the fact that I am travelling with DH so not even on my own, I still feel jittery and nervy. Once we've got there I still feel unsettled for a couple of days, so I take a room spray that we use at home (a lavender based one) and spritz it around the room or cabin so that there is a familiar smell of home. It seems to calm me down.

I think the more you do it the easier it gets. Packing light, organised hand luggage and a small airport all help. We pay extra to go from the tiny airport near us for a weeks holiday. We travel extensively and will fly from Madrid for long haul.
hand luggage is essentials only plus one full outfit each and night ware (I pick the lightest)
but yes it is nerve wracking. If kids are poorly I’d still go to airport ans decide at the gate if I was gone not.

have a wonderful holiday and remember you can get most thing on holiday for not too much money.

You say you are 'overwhelmed trying to get everyone packed ...'. Who is everyone? If your children are 7/8 or older they can pack themselves and you can just double check it. Your partner should be packing for themself.

This might be partly why you feel anxious, if all the prep and responsibility of remembering everything is put on you.

DD10 fully packs herself

DD7, gets her clothes etc out and I check and help her fold them

DH packs himself and is also responsible for passports, electricals (chargers etc) making arrangements to get to airport such as booking parking, timings, holiday insurance etc

I pack myself plus responsible for meds, first aid kit, sunscreen, toiletries, snacks and bits for the journey, booking any trips/activities for when away

I’m going tomorrow and I can hardly breathe. I don’t want to leave my sensitive dog with a sitter. I hate leaving the house empty. My DD in supported accommodation may need help while I’m away.

I’m honestly dreading it 😞

Is everyone who answers yes perimenopausal? I was never an anxious person but at 50-ish I’m now a nervous wreck over most things!

I’m post menopausal, but my crippling anxiety started in perimenopause.

Yes, I feel anxious.

Not going away to Autumn and was panicking how my dog woukd cope with home boarding earlier.

Yup we are meant to go away in a few days and our cars just been called in for a recall now it’s a will it be back in time or is the entire holiday cancelled.

Hiring a big enough car would cost more than the holiday so tik tok goes the clock.

I’ve lost all excitement and completely stopped holiday prep because I don’t believe we will be going.

I do. I put so much pressure on myself to make everything perfect and think of every eventuality. Book all the right things etc. I nearly (and secretly) had a complete breakdown on arrival on holiday this year as I had taken the roof box and roof bars off the car thinking we wouldn't need them, only to find that they would be quite useful.

I only ever stress out about my potential mistakes or forgotten things, but not anyone else's.

I have long held that the first day and night of a holiday is always pretty bleh, as everyone is a bit tired, overwhelmed, nit picky, unsettled etc. Once we get past that, we settle a little and are ok.

I normally get an anxiety attack on the first or second night of being away. My anxiety normally hits ‘after the fact’, so I think once we are there, after all the planning and build up my mind finally lets go and anxiety is allowed in! I’ve got used to it now so I expect it and just ride it out. Anxiety sucks. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

I think it quite common for people to feel anxious when they step out of their routine. Especially when the plans involve others.

I don't travel; anymore (mobility issues) but when I did they were solo independent trips to non tourist destinations. Think Iran, Syria etc. I always planned like a military operation and felt anxious the day before. Always wondering "where will I be sleeping tomorrow". These trips were not relaxing by any means but they were exciting. The great thing about solo travel is that you only have yourself to organize. The bad thing is that you have no one to depend upon to keep your place in queues, watch your luggage or carry stuff.

Every time for me. The kids laugh at me because I always say I'll be excited when we get there. It's very common, I know loads of people who say the same!

Why are you going if you feel like that?

I’m the same. I go away in 3 weeks with my DS. It’s the first time I’ve taken him abroad on my own. I keep checking dates on passports, checking car parking and flight times. Working out what time I need to leave. What if I forget something. I’ve booked excursions but keep checking I’ve got the dates correct. I’ll need another holiday by the time I get back from this one!

How old are you? We got on lots of family holidays far and wide - I love holidays. This summer I started getting waves of anxiety literally from nowhere, and unrelated to anything else. It was like someone had injected me with an anxiety shot, it just surged up from nowhere. It was related to feeling vaguely 'unsafe', even though logically I knew I was perfectly safe and in no danger whatsoever. I'm convinced it's hormonal and a peri thing. I rode it out and it passed quickly enough

Could it be a peri thing for you too?