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Furious at ds work dismissal

975 replies

OneGreyBiscuit · 03/08/2026 14:29

This is more has my 19 year old ds employers been unreasonable. He's just been sacked for being unreliable. For context - he accepted a new job about a month ago. He informed them of where he lives which is about a forty minute train journey away. He is a few minutes late everyday because of the trains and they said they were ok with it. He's just come off holiday (which he informed them of) and went back today. He was sent an email before today telling him to get an earlier train so he's on time. Fair enough, so he did and would've continued doing. At 9 he was called into a meeting to tell him his contracts been terminated for unreliability. He was only informed of getting an earlier train from today, so how can they dismiss him like this? If he continued to get the later train and continued being late then I'd understand but they've not even given him a chance. I'm absolutely furious. And to add insult to injury he still had to pay for his waste of time and money train fare this morning.

OP posts:
CheeseyOnionPie · 04/08/2026 07:53

OneGreyBiscuit · 03/08/2026 14:35

He told me that they were ok with him being a few minutes late as they were fully aware he gets the train, if they had a problem, they should've told him the first week and not say it was ok.

Gets “the train” - sorry but is this a once-a-day train or the first train of the day? If not then it’s likely they weren’t ok with it at all but were flabbergasted a man of 19 can’t figure out that he needs to get the earlier train.

viques · 04/08/2026 07:54

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 19:13

"This is just another life lesson and stage of character building. If you start work at 8 common sense says aim to get there for 8:30."

He tried that, didn"t work it seems?

🙂

Anarchy99 · 04/08/2026 07:56

He was unreasonable having to be told.

Plus after a month he has no employment rights, ACAS aren’t going to be able to help.

He should know that it’s on him to get to his job on time. If he doesn’t, he’s going to struggle with future employment.

It is concerning that you are blaming his employer for this. He sounds unprepared for the working world.

Macca1290 · 04/08/2026 08:32

Imdunfer · 04/08/2026 07:52

He can't take action, he does not have long enough service and they were entitled to dismiss him. Incorrect procedure cannot be taken to a tribunal with only one month service if the sacking was legal.

He could only do it as a civil case against them.

Obviously he isn't in a position to pay for that and nobody would take it on as no win no fee because it was legal for him to be sacked, just not quite in the way they did it, and he has therefore lost nothing which he can claim for.

Edited

The right to be accompanied applies from day 1 as it's a statutory right and can still raise it with ACAS, its a maximum of 2 weeks pay compensation award if the right has been refused

Imdunfer · 04/08/2026 08:35

Macca1290 · 04/08/2026 08:32

The right to be accompanied applies from day 1 as it's a statutory right and can still raise it with ACAS, its a maximum of 2 weeks pay compensation award if the right has been refused

He has no right to take a case to a tribunal simply for failure to follow procedure with only a few weeks service.

BusyMum47 · 04/08/2026 08:49

OneGreyBiscuit · 03/08/2026 14:35

He told me that they were ok with him being a few minutes late as they were fully aware he gets the train, if they had a problem, they should've told him the first week and not say it was ok.

But it shouldn’t have even been an issue. If an earlier train is an option then that should have been the one he was catching every day from the start… “I have to be at work by this time…let’s look at the timetable…oh, that one will make me slightly late every day so it’ll have to be the one before.” SIMPLE! Why are you cross with the employer? You should be cross with your son!

MNLurker1345 · 04/08/2026 08:49

@stichguru “My employer is "ok" with me being a few minutes late.

  • I try to get the 7.50
  • sometimes I miss it and get the 8.03
  • sometimes the 8.03 misses or is 10 mins late”

I was wondering if it was some like.

And this;

“I think the OP is turning nasty on here to avoid conflict with her son. Clearly something isn't adding up here and she isn't giving any answers to sensible questions” @Moonnstarz . If mum was constantly telling DS to “get up, get a move on, you are going to be late” - remember those school days? And then he looses his job because he didn't listen, we would all be a bit pissed wouldn’t we and then you come on MN and everyone says what she has been telling him, it must feel a bit raw.

I will add that of course I do not know, but I do remember those days getting a teenager out of bed, for school and for first job.

ImpossibleGermany · 04/08/2026 08:53

Also, if he was rocking up 5 or ten mins late most days and apologising and blaming the train, just because his supervisor said 'never mind, it happens' doesn't mean they are completely cool with it. He was very naive to think that he needn't worry about being late very frequently, in spite of what was being said.

It does unavoidably happen on occasion with any type of commute involving transport of some sort, but if it happening more frequently than expected, the solution should be blindingly obvious.

They were looking for signs that he would realise this and taken the appropriate action himself. He didn't. He needed to be told. But as I said, this is very unlikely to have been the only issue.

One of the people who was eventually sacked by me used to frequently text to say he would be late or not in at all, because his car wouldn't start. He lived 45 minutes away and he would never let us know until after he was already late. In spite of the fact that if he was ever going to be on time he should have been trying to start his car an hour ago.

On the days when he was simply late, I realised he just couldn't drag himself out of bed.

On the days when he didn't make it in at all, I accept that he probably did have problems with his car. I did not accept that he couldn't walk to the bus stop or jump on the train instead, preferring to throw his hands up in resignation that he simply wouldn't manage to get to work that day.

His argument was that the bus or train took too long, the walk to the station was too far and he'd never have applied for the job if he'd thought he'd need to use public transport because it was too much hassle. My argument is that in general he didn't have to use PT, but he should be prepared to use it short term, in emergency situations rather than simply not come to work at all.

This is the sort of thing that really sorts the wheat from the chaff.

MonaLisa3847 · 04/08/2026 08:54

Imagine being a business and not being able to sack someone who is clearly not putting the effort in

Moonnstarz · 04/08/2026 08:54

MNLurker1345 · 04/08/2026 08:49

@stichguru “My employer is "ok" with me being a few minutes late.

  • I try to get the 7.50
  • sometimes I miss it and get the 8.03
  • sometimes the 8.03 misses or is 10 mins late”

I was wondering if it was some like.

And this;

“I think the OP is turning nasty on here to avoid conflict with her son. Clearly something isn't adding up here and she isn't giving any answers to sensible questions” @Moonnstarz . If mum was constantly telling DS to “get up, get a move on, you are going to be late” - remember those school days? And then he looses his job because he didn't listen, we would all be a bit pissed wouldn’t we and then you come on MN and everyone says what she has been telling him, it must feel a bit raw.

I will add that of course I do not know, but I do remember those days getting a teenager out of bed, for school and for first job.

The thing is that we don't know what in this situation is true and that son is 19, so shouldn't be relying on mum to get him up.
Yes she is right to be annoyed, but clearly there is something that doesn't make sense with either the son being exceptionally late more than he has let on, or he has made the whole thing up about being told it was ok to be late (maybe as you say so he didn't have to get up earlier).
It could also be the whole thing about lateness is not the reason either and maybe the son hasn't actually told mum the reason he was dismissed and he has made up this as the real reason is more embarrassing.

Rumpledandcrumpled · 04/08/2026 09:05

cmon Op. Instead of seeing your arse, of course he needs to turn up to work on time,

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 04/08/2026 09:16

I’m currently early at my job by about 15 mins or so, less if I drive. Better to be early than late. Things like making tea, setting up the laptop take time too so at least when work starts I’m there.

MNLurker1345 · 04/08/2026 09:32

I have found that people who are persistently late, don’t quite get that whatever their reason for being late is, is often irrelevant. And these people no matter what will keep being late, because they got up late, because they left the house late, because they don’t plan their journey, because they couldn’t find their keys, because, because, because!

Obviously there are occasions when lateness is beyond our control, and in those situations an apology suffices. But constant lateness is not acceptable when everyone else manages to get there on time.

It starts from childhood and us as parents getting our infant children to school on time. No child likes to be the one that walks in late and everyone looks at them and they in their infancy don’t even have the skills to make an excuse. Learning to be punctual is a life skill as is learning to swim. Not skills everyone learns though.

dreamingofgoodhair · 04/08/2026 09:36

MonaLisa3847 · 03/08/2026 21:50

My DS's first job was at a tuition centre and he'd come early to set up the tables and chairs for the session.

Good for him ???

dreamingofgoodhair · 04/08/2026 09:40

MonaLisa3847 · 03/08/2026 22:19

In an office job if they say being punctual is essential, then you do it. Especially when you've just started, get to work on time. If they don't allow WFH yet, get to the office on time.

I assume it's a summer job in the summer between uni years?

Why would you assume that? Not everyone goes to university.

dreamingofgoodhair · 04/08/2026 09:42

BlueFahrenheit · 03/08/2026 22:40

Yes, you are right. She doesn't understand.

How rude and patronising by both of you.

dayslikethese1 · 04/08/2026 09:52

I think you have to be extra squeaky clean when you start a new job, especially as a new grad/junior level. You've not proved your worth yet, maybe later you can be a bit looser with timings if the culture and management allows. Goes both ways though, sometimes you work past your finish time etc.

Anarchy99 · 04/08/2026 09:55

MNLurker1345 · 04/08/2026 08:49

@stichguru “My employer is "ok" with me being a few minutes late.

  • I try to get the 7.50
  • sometimes I miss it and get the 8.03
  • sometimes the 8.03 misses or is 10 mins late”

I was wondering if it was some like.

And this;

“I think the OP is turning nasty on here to avoid conflict with her son. Clearly something isn't adding up here and she isn't giving any answers to sensible questions” @Moonnstarz . If mum was constantly telling DS to “get up, get a move on, you are going to be late” - remember those school days? And then he looses his job because he didn't listen, we would all be a bit pissed wouldn’t we and then you come on MN and everyone says what she has been telling him, it must feel a bit raw.

I will add that of course I do not know, but I do remember those days getting a teenager out of bed, for school and for first job.

ND aside, by the time someone is a teen they should be capable of getting themselves up and (unless they rely on a lift to school) out of the house on time.

But in any case this is a grown man who is responsible for his life.

I rely on public transport but I also know I don’t owe my employer a single second of time since I never work just my contracted hours,

To be ‘furious’ at the employer is ridiculous - OP should be furious at her son if anyone

BlueFahrenheit · 04/08/2026 09:56

dreamingofgoodhair · 04/08/2026 09:42

How rude and patronising by both of you.

Evidently, the OP doesn't understand.

There's nothing rude about either of our comments.

🙄

Noodge · 04/08/2026 10:20

I'm with the majority, sorry OP (who won't be back)!

He should have been getting the earlier train. If there literally wasn't one, and he'd said to them at interview upon being told the start time, 'Oh sorry! My first train is at 07:30 and takes half an hour, so starting at 08:00 I'll always be a few mins late, they could have worked something out if they had margins to. E.G 'That's fine, do you mind taking a 55 min lunch instead of 60?' or, 'No problem, start at 08:30 instead' but the fact he COULD get there on time via an earlier train, and chose not to without discussion is the issue here. It illustrates a bad attitude and poor work ethic. And most employers aren't going to sack someone if there's a public transport problem or traffic issues or any problem that makes them late on occasion, because, well that's life. but not every day. Even people with prestigious long-standing jobs are expected to be respectable to their employer and not totally take the P like that!

singthing · 04/08/2026 10:30

Did he get anything in writing or were other people present when he was told it was categorically ok to be late? Any discussion of (say) adjusting his start time by 15mins?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 10:32

singthing · 04/08/2026 10:30

Did he get anything in writing or were other people present when he was told it was categorically ok to be late? Any discussion of (say) adjusting his start time by 15mins?

I would imagine that if this had been the case, he wouldn’t have been sacked.

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 10:38

dreamingofgoodhair · 04/08/2026 09:42

How rude and patronising by both of you.

Or alternatively you’ve assumed that the comments were meant to suggest a lack of intelligence on the part of supermarket workers. It’s just a fact that a supermarket and an office are two totally different working environments, requiring different working practices and ethics. How is it rude and patronising to point that out ?

FastFood · 04/08/2026 10:39

I can't believe that someone who's supposedly capable enough to be trusted with a job needs to be told to catch an earlier train to get to work on time.

If you can't work this out by yourself surely you won't be able to make any informed decision at work.

prh47bridge · 04/08/2026 10:46

Macca1290 · 04/08/2026 08:32

The right to be accompanied applies from day 1 as it's a statutory right and can still raise it with ACAS, its a maximum of 2 weeks pay compensation award if the right has been refused

As he has less than 2 years service, his employer was entitled to dismiss him without any disciplinary process. It sounds like that is what happened, so the right to be accompanied to a disciplinary hearing is irrelevant as there was no such hearing.