AIBU should I end a relationship after learning about his lies?

[Snoopy16]

I feel that I am in a difficult position yet again with my relationship. My DP is currently going through some mental health issues. I have been really supportive as we have both had issues in the past.
I have been open about my past health issues.I am starting to feel like there are a few red flags within our relationship that I can’t ignore. We have been together 5 yrs, in the last 12mths he has moved into my house and rented his property out. I felt we had a good future but now I am having doubts .
My DP has admitted in the last week that he has been hospitalised in the past which was a shock. Today he admitted that he has a betting addiction and had not had a military career as he has always said he had. I feel betrayed and feel numb. He is not the man I thought he was. I feel like an old fool.
i took him to speak to a friend today hoping this would help. Am I right in wanting to end the relationship & cut my loses or am I being mean when he is obviously having a bad time with his mental health?

He's deliberately stitched you up, told lies to get you to trust him and allow him to move in with you. I'd be concerned that his next move will be to lose his job and you'll have to support him. You'll also be doing all the unpaid/domestic work, because he wont do it.

I'd be suspicious about the "job up in the air" too.

You’re not being mean to want him out. You need to put yourself first. He’s going to pull the ‘no,job’ card soon, and then you’ll have a gambling, lieing, cocklodger on your hands. You can feel sorry for him, but that doesn’t make him your responsibility. Put yourself first and kick him out, and ignore his tails of woe which will come.

Does he smoke weed as well?

You wouldn't be with him if you'd known the truth all along, he's tricked you intentionally or not. He's quite possibly lied to you about other things. In my experience once a liar always a liar. He's not who you thought he was, you don't owe him anything. You have a duty to protect yourself. He's made this mess you deserve better. Don't listen to his crap, he is his own problem.

Not unreasonable at all and if he was betting till last week he’s at the very best in very early recovery. I think you’re at risk of financial problems and more lies if you continue this relationship.
The military one is less harmful but also just adds to a picture of someone who will tell you whatever he likes to make himself sound good which is not good either.
You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel regardless of whether he’s unwell or not. Your feelings don’t make you a bad person.

He has waited until he got into your house to reveal these lies, along with just now coming clean about losing all that money.

Am I kicking a man unfairly when he is down?

Are you a one-woman welfare centre and rehabilitation unit, a cash machine, and a nurse? The man you thought he was doesn't exist. You should get him out ASAP, before it all gets worse and sucks the life out of you, and all your cash.

He’s shown himself to be untrustworthy. He probably intentionally lied to you to show a version of a person you could trust and will now slowly dismantle this version in a “boiling a frog” method.

please finish the relationship now, possibly involving family/ friends to make sure they’re looking out for you. He’s not going to get better xx

Get rid
Horrendous lies to have told.
no excuse for them

Thank you for your thoughts. I had to call the police earlier to the house as he had a knife in his hand and I was t sure what he was going to do with it. I managed to get it from him eventually he was in coherent. I called the police for my safety and his. Mental health professionals will now be involved. This is all too much now. You are all right enough is enough.

Omg OP, that’s terrifying. He’s gone, I presume? I’m glad you’re safe.

I would be bagging up his things and changing the locks.

He has not gone yet but I can not relax much. I am safe thank god but will get out if I need to. I have never seen him behave like this before. I am definitely not used to these sorts of dramas. The mental health team are due to us in a few hours. Hopefully the rest of tonight is peaceful.

I really despise people who lie about military enlistment. Thieving of valor and honor. Bet he didnt make it thru basic training at 3 weeks. They weeded him out.

He is a liar and seems comfortable lying for long periods of time. The betting addiction will ruin your life.

@Snoopy16

Stay safe. Leave if you feel at all threatened or if he begins to behave erratically.

If the MH team take him away, call an emergency locksmith and get your locks changed. Do NOT let him back into your house. You can arrange to get his things to him later.

This one’s for the bin. I’m guessing his military career was his entire personality as well as his biggest excuse for shit behaviour. He sounds like an entitled wanker. You need to get him out of your house asap and not fall for any manipulative bullshit.

At least the recent drama has given you some momentum to make sure this ends. Do not let him minimise or manipulate to ensure you stay with him,
If he was threatening self harm because you called him out that is ABUSE. He’s a no hoper. Think about the signs you missed and why you were vulnerable to be taken in by him, No man can be SO much better than the majority of available options.

Hope you are ok op?
scary situation and u must protect yourself!

I hope the emergency MH team were helpful. Unfortunately I’ve had dealings with them in my family and it can be a mixed bag. Please prioritise your own safety though OP. There are services to support him now.

In a,way you've been lucky this happened now, terrifying as it is. It's made the situation very clear.

Agreed with others saying that you need to change the locks

Prioritise yourself, your safety.

Make sure he is removed from your home and change the locks.

What led to the knife instinct?

Bin