FED UP with the summer holiday

[emeraldsapphirepearl]

And we’re only a week in.

Thank goodness for bedtime….

Agreed - problem is I’m that wiped out I go to bed shortly after them and then the whole thing starts again the next day!

Do you have any friends or family with kids you could team up with? It’s much easier as a team. Is DH taking any time off, to share the load and/or give you a break? My DH is taking Friday off to come to the beach with us for example

I do @BuffaloCauliflower and while it’s more bearable with another mum I’m not sure I’d call it a break per se!

gosh, I had to be struck with D&V or the flu to even consider spending a day at home at that age. Even teens need to get out of the house everyday, it's never negociable, but the younger ones? They're like puppies, they need to spend energy.

I found that age quite easy because they don't get bored of the same places - or not before I did anyway.

Library is still opened (here)
we have splash parks
regular park with playground in the sand pit (if that makes sense)

I found the holidays much easier because we had no schedule.

What about creating the structure. Plan activities and time slots. Such as 6am get up dressed breakfast, 7am free play, 8am make a list together for the shop for baking cakes draw the ingredients needed, 9am go to the shop, 10am baking, 11am free play, noon lunch and tv time. 1pm park , 2.30pm arts and crafts, 3.30pm tv/free play. Then dinner and throw your kids at husband when he finishes work. I always find it easier with a plan and structure.

Sounds like your husband is the problem.

Im enjoying it with my 3 and 5 but the saving grace is David Lloyd membership that provides an outdoor pool and lots of local friends.

What did her husband do wrong apart from work to provide for his family.

@youalright it isn’t the same really. I know it’s well meant but dragging them out to a shop where they hare off and then back to bake gives me chills. It sounds fine but it’s not like term time where I only have one child for most of the day and it’s only two days a week anyway.

It’s just different strokes. Hoping one day we’ll be in a place where I can relax in the summer holidays but I’m currently a long way from that!

Yeah, I hear you. Mine are older but the school holidays really remind me of how tired I always was during the toddler days and how hard it was to keep them entertained all the time when I had a permanent sleep deprivation headache and just wanted to crash. They sometimes play together but I still need to referee and they're reaching the point now where stuff for the youngest is just too boring for the oldest. Long live holiday club...

@youalrightmoan about noise in the house during children's holidays

I think when they are both school age I’ll book them in for a couple of days holiday club a week, just to break it up a bit. It is relentless!

Mine broke up on 2 July and go back on 8 September

WTAF

Feel you OP. I was a sahm when mine were that age - so it was all the bloody time!

Mine still did stuff like nursery, holiday club and all my usual sahm stuff like meeting friends in the park, just they only did reduced hours of the childcare things because obviously I didn’t need actual childcare for work, just a few hours a couple of times a week for my sanity!

Make a general routine, mornings activity usually out the house, lunch then chill for a bit, then afternoon activity usually play in garden, then tea then bedtime routine. I liked to break it up with free playground and picnic type days and then maybe one or 2 more expensive days out a week. Obviously money is a factor.

Can you break it up a bit with DH being off work? Visiting family or friends? Holiday club for oldest? It’s a long time with no structure at all!

We don’t really have any family to visit unfortunately - PIL are very unwell and my own parents are no longer around, sadly.

Normally DH is in the office for at least some of the week but with it being the summer ‘hardly anyone is there’ so he’s home. Oh, joy 🙄 It does alter the atmosphere at home when someone’s working there, even when they aren’t insisting on silence you can’t just be in the same way. The kids behave differently when he’s around as well, even when he’s out of sight.

If only we could all afford a DL membership with an outdoor pool. No more burnt out mothers!

I fully appreciate it can feel long and tricky !
I have found getting out as soon as possible helps ,
We have early risers but we are out of the house by 8am everyday to the park or a scoot around, back home mid morning to play / playdoh/ drawing ( set this up night before in an ideal world ) . Then we are out again for a walk/ libary / another park after lunch til mid afternoon and then I will rely on screens for a film or tv til dinnertime and ending the day with some time in the garden .
I find this tires them out well , they are fairly entertained and i’m not spending a fortune bar the odd ice cream !

Can you give ideas of what you do indoors

I'm reminded of how long it takes to set up certain activities and then how long kids actually spend doing them 🫠 You think something like "Lego and baking will fill the morning".... no they don't!!

I agree about structure. My middle boy felt lost without routine when he was tiny. So we used to print out a timetable of things. As simple as breakfast, free play, park, quiet time, lunch etc.

However, at 3 and 5 you are in the trenches still. It’s absolutely exhausting and hard work. Full on and pressure to make everything magic and fun fun fun.
It will get better as they get older. For now whatever works to get through.

I remember the days when ds was nursery age and odd over the summer.

I work in schools so term time only.

DS was an only child and very easy and would play alone for hours.

But what I found was the day seemed to have 75 hours in it rather then 24 😂

We’d get up, breakfast, he’d play while I tidied up, head out to a park, the beach (we are coastal), the woods etc. spend a few hours walking, playing and having a picnic lunch. Head home.

It was still only 2pm!!!

DS wanted to chill by this point and I was the one who needed stimulation!!!

There’s only so much housework that needs doing, gardening to be done etc.

Wed meet friends a few times a week but it was the getting home hours before dinner that always got me!

I remember those days - it’s tough when they are small. My saving grace was finding play parks that were fenced in, so I could relax a little. We also forked out for annual memberships - sea life, our local castle, national trust - so there was always somewhere to go/something to do. I love the holidays now they’re teens though - currently chilling with dd, ds2 and dd’s boyfriend, picking out who they play as on super smash bros.

It’s really hard and 3 and 5 together are tricky ages. Main advice is don’t feel guilty for not #makingmemories every second (or even every week), just do your best and a have a big wine when they’re finally in bed.
Also, get a few hours to yourself every weekend if you can.

DH needs to go into the office. At least some of the time anyway. You can’t be expected to keep the kids quiet in the house or be out all day every day! I totally get how hard that is and my DH went back to the office as soon as he could after covid because us all being home all day and him trying to work was just torture for everyone. And he really wasn’t a dick about the kids making noise, but they’re kids, they make noise! And they don’t really understand at those ages why daddy is in the house but not engaging with them so it just made my life harder.

Work out a timetable with him where he WFH on the days you’re doing actual day trips.